VN Boards Archive

[VN Boards Archive]

Welcome to the Vault Network forum archive.

This is not a complete archive, time didn't allot us the opportunity to properly backup the majority of the boards deemed "expendable". Most boards on this list have at least 20-40 pages archived (non-logged in pages, 15 topics per page).

Popular boards may have as many as 250 pages archived at 50 topics per page, while others deemed of historical signifigance may be archived in their entirety.

We may not agree with how the board shutdown was managed, but we've done what we could to preserve some of its history in lieu of that.

Please enjoy the archive.
~ Managers, Moderators, VIP's, and regular posters.

Author

Topic: Another Original Poem

Modeeb Title: A Ghost In The Machine Posts: 47,242 Registered: Apr 19, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 39,997 User ID: 670,238	Subject: Another Original Poem
	This one came pretty easy. Give me some feedback. I have about four edits on it. The Outpost is my muse. An Empty Casing She left me in the valley, near the foothills of our dreams. My burning heart is sheltered behind my leather wings. My angel is a black jacket scratched with disappointment, from the many falls I've taken on love's desolate highway. It fits me like a question: Why not touch the Infinite in a first kiss? The collar flows into silver curls, the curls into confusion, the confusion into promises never realized. The zipper opens and closes, like a spell cast at midnight, high tide-low tide, poppy fields and crimson tinctures. In jute coils I show you how to fly. The cuffs are close to my hands, deft sonatas playing, shaping, designed to strike dawn's bitter cold at eighty miles an hour. I travel on the wind, leaving petals in my wake. They are desire's possibilities, pierced through the barrel of night, shot into the morning, annihilated in a fiery crash with a mud filled sunrise. An empty brass casing is all that remains. -----signature----- "What is here is there. What is not here is nowhere." Vishvasara Tantra "Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
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cabbyman Posts: 36,024 Registered: Jan 6, '03 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 30,306 User ID: 755,896	Subject: Another Original Poem
	Gotta be honest Mo it comes across as a bit pretentious to me... Poems should be relatable. Let me try: Humungous breasts swaying free. Make me tingle where I pee. See? It's just that easy! -----signature----- â€œNo manâ€™s life, liberty, or property are safe while the Legislature is in session.â€ "Life's tough. It's tougher if you're stupid." -- John Wayne â€œIf there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peaceâ€ - Thomas Paine
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Crackdoc Posts: 6,681 Registered: Oct 7, '05 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 6,609 User ID: 1,082,910	Subject: Another Original Poem
	Not too shabby Modeeb for metaphorical prose-poetry. I cannot grab the 'angel' reference except as the jacket saving your hide during a slide on the bike, but otherwise OK. ps: Cabby, when did you get the boob graft ? -----signature----- People in the Middle-East: They Are ALL Crazy as BedBugs!!! Erich Fromm: â€œThere is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.â€ Toss aside the paradigms of civility you hold - welcome the social dysfunction of tomorrow.
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Modeeb Title: A Ghost In The Machine Posts: 47,242 Registered: Apr 19, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 39,997 User ID: 670,238	Subject: Another Original Poem
	That is what I meant, Crack. Practice , practice , practice. I will probably never be able to get away from abstract imagery, but that is part of my voice. cabby i can draw dirty pictures when I want. Here is Dirty Harry -----signature----- "What is here is there. What is not here is nowhere." Vishvasara Tantra "Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
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ZartanAround Title: Torpid Curmudgeon Posts: 13,775 Registered: Feb 6, '04 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 11,365 User ID: 892,117	Subject: Another Original Poem
	excellent mo. i wish threads had ratings. i would give this the maximum rating. [EDIT] my feedback is this: needs reformatting to enhance readability, flow. i once dated an english major, she wrote a beautiful poem about the mountains of peru. she worked and worked on it for about a year. when she was done, not only was it a masterpiece, it was formatted such that the text formed an abstracted mountain range. -----signature----- what are nice chickens like you doing in a coop like this?
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Tych2 Title: Obama Appointed Outpost Czar Posts: 40,411 Registered: Mar 1, '05 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 33,378 User ID: 1,032,223	Subject: Another Original Poem
	cabbyman posted: Gotta be honest Mo it comes across as a bit pretentious to me... Poems should be relatable. Let me try: Humungous breasts swaying free. Make me tingle where I pee. See? It's just that easy! -----signature----- We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart. Drill Anwar! Kapie Drevid in Tanks
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sweeny_comodore Posts: 9,066 Registered: Aug 23, '07 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 8,113 User ID: 1,248,480	Subject: Another Original Poem
	youre trying too hard to force an image. subtlety, laz. -----signature----- Jesus? No, but there is indeed a god shaped hole in the heart of man, why is yours so empty? -- snarf igraine the original monotheism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus
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