-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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Since she retired, I think she's been more and more progressively bored. She has always been a type-A go-getting person and letting other people do the work doesn't work for her, she doesn't know how to do it.
We've invited them up for New Year's, and I've been getting so many messages from her about it. "I've got all this stuff for entertaining the children, can I bring it?" "I've got lemons for the children to make lemonade on New Year's, won't that be fun?" "I found all this food in my freezer, can I bring it to your house for New Year's?" "Going to Costco, want me to pick up anything to bring to your party?"
My husband and I already had plans for activities, food, drink, etc. I don't mind her contributing, but I have the feeling that if I let her, she's going to end up hosting this party for me in my house! I'm trying to be laid-back, accommodating, gracious, nice, etc. because well, I feel a bit churlish telling her to back off when she's just trying to be helpful.
I'm compromising by trying to come up with useful stuff she can do/bring to keep her occupied while maintaining control. I don't know what else to do. To be honest I hope she'll get some inspiration and decide to throw her own party at her own house next year. 
-----signature-----
I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
- NR, #iranelection
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Tipztoe
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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I tell my MIL if she want to help she can go socialize and stay out of my way.
After last year at a both family event when she and my wife's grandmother started clearing food etc and putting it away..
I told them to go sit down because they're making people feel like they need to leave.
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BritonGuy
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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It's kind of sad to see retired people not knowing what to do with themselves and desperate for activity. Take her skydiving or something, help her get it out of her system. Get someone to drive her around various places from the moment she arrives to the morning before the party.
-----signature-----
Briton Guy...persnickety...NEVER!  -Murron (truly) Hawkson is the greatest. -Hawkson Britonguy is usually right. -Onslaught on BT “Do or do not... there is no try.†- Yodazami Do you expect me to remember what I put in my mouth? -NSMachi
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lady_selene
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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If you already know what your serving and what activities you want to offer for the party then why not just tell her "We have this, this and this planned, would you like to pick something off the list to help with?" That way she is doing stuff to lessen your work for it rather than increasing the stress involved.
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Silverwuf
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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A simple 'No thanks, I've got it all handled.' usually works with my type A mother in law.
Silver
-----signature-----
Women who behave themselves rarely make history. My Give-A-Damn's Busted. http://www.thewufs.com/2003venture/motortrike.htm
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Immortal_Haze
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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You can't stop my MIL, you can only contain her. When we were in London on vacation, she cleaned and reorganized our garage, did a crapload of yard work, and even ironed all my shirts. Including my white undershirts. :\ She's a beast when you let her get going.
-----signature-----
 "Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them." FDR
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Mangler_SC
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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Make it very aware that your  would feel good in her butt.
Problem solved?
-----signature-----
. Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear. -Bou_Te . Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE 
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zthar
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Subject:
I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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tell her to bring an appetizer (dessert, side dish etc) and that is all that is needed.
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zthar
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NonOffensiveName
Title: Touching people in special places all day long
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Subject:
I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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who uses the word churlish?
-----signature-----
Q: What's an AW?
A: A whore that likes attention
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Tipztoe
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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Mangler_SC posted:
Make it very aware that your would feel good in her butt.
Problem solved?
I'm pretty sure Accident doesn't have a
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Caoilin
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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people who are smarter than you.
-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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NonOffensiveName
Title: Touching people in special places all day long
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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Caoilin posted:
people who are smarter than you.
well that certainly leaves you out then LOL
-----signature-----
Q: What's an AW?
A: A whore that likes attention
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murron2
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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I think you are handling it all very well Accident  Just let her come as planned and be your gracious laid-back self. Many times we anticipate the 'worst' in life and luckily it never happens  Truly...
~Murron~
-----signature-----
PEACE...
it means to be in the midst
of noise, trouble and strife
and still be calm
in your heart.
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NonOffensiveName
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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NonOffensiveName posted:
Caoilin posted:
people who are smarter than you.
well that certainly leaves you out then LOL
I certainly have a leg up on you already!
-----signature-----
Q: What's an AW?
A: A whore that likes attention
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Caoilin
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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i see you've learned what it means, then.
-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
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Subject:
I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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Yeah, we are going to show her the plan and she can pick stuff off of that. She's a great person, really nice and ridiculously smart, it's just that she doesn't know how to go with the flow sometimes.
-----signature-----
I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
- NR, #iranelection
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purplehugmonkey
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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My future sister-in-law is the same way with our wedding. She does the offering again and again after being told "No, thanks" thing. Each time with a self-deprecating "I know I already asked, but I just wanted to offer" or "I know you're probably sick of me asking". Finally I jokingly just said "Yeah, knock it off, will you?" and it has still happened once since then. MIL is a bit of a different situation though.
Sounds like the best thing is just what you're doing. Just remember that she's getting old and probably feeling old too since retiring. Sometimes people just want someone to appreciate their contribution to something and to feel useful, and they just don't think about whether you need it or not.
I take it on a case-by-case, much like people that are fishing for compliments. Sometimes they are extremely annoying and shouldn't be encouraged, but other times tossing them a compliment is not hard to do and they could probably use one.
-----signature-----
College women are as unstable as free radicals. Thanks college.
-Anebriated
He was a jedi before he was a father and everyone knows how much jedi love to chop off hands.
-Kigaro
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-Foxy-
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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you will handle her.
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Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
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Jezza_Belle
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I think my mother-in-law is going to kill me with kindness (bloggish)
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I think I would try to graciously say to her that the party is for her to enjoy, not throw! You really appreciate her help, but you do have things under control and just want her to be able to relax for once and let people wait on her.
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
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