VN Boards Archive

[VN Boards Archive]

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Topic: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.

Mystic.Mike Posts: 1,369 Registered: Aug 11, '08 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 1,353 User ID: 1,314,125	Subject: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.
	I grew up in a different time. In a time where it was believed that, it takes a village to raise a child, that when you were at someone elseâ€™s house, their parents were your parents for the time being. You listened to them the same, you followed their instructions the same, you ate what you were given, etc. If you did not, there were consequences. In my time, someone elseâ€™s parent could correct you, punish you, and even hit you if it called for it. It was the parenting of the late 70s and early 80s. I have taken these values into my own way of child raising. My kids know the rules and their friends know the rules. If there is an issue when the friends are here, we will have a family meeting and include our guest. We show that we care about them as we care for our children, because we do. We are trusted and loved by our kids and their friends because we treat them with respect and in return, we are respected. They confide in us and ask us questions they probably would not ask their own parents. One such friend of our daughters asked me is it wrong to kiss four different boys in a game of truth or dare. This is a 13 year old mind you. I told her yes it is, you are 13 and in middle school and you will gain a very bad reputation before you reach high school. Concerned, we informed her mother, and instead of talking to her daughter; while we were on the phone, yelled at her saying she is not going back to the park (where the incident took place) and assumed we, were calling her daughter a slut. Our kids have their own laptops; in order for them to keep their laptops, we have all their login info and passwords. We randomly check them not to spy, but to parent. Now we have found much much worse in conversations this girl has had with our daughter and our son (like offering him sex if he hugs her everyday at school so she can be more popular), but given her last response we feel it is not our responsibility, and, she has access to it via the internets just like we did. If you are so concerned of how others view your child, you should talk to your child. How do your children view themselves? What are these kids doing to try to gain attention? What attention do they get at home or not get at home. Who are their real friends. Trust me; your kid is not a friend with 987 people like facebook says. Another friend of our daughters tells us her father hits her in the face and calls her a slut and a whore. This is one of the most well behaved, respectful, lovely young women my wife and I have ever met. We tell her that to. We tell her mom that. How wonderful her daughter is. Instead of a thank you, they think that I am being inappropriate. This same girl had her cell phone stolen while visiting, when her and my daughter went out. She came back to our house in tears and said she knew the boys, they were in High School, and would I help her get it back. Without hesitation, I got up and drove around looking for the two wannabe hooligans. At the same time telling this girl, she needs to call her father so they can cancel the phone and call the police as soon as possible. I called her cell phone and a boy answered, I asked him to return my daughters phone (it was easier and seemed more authoritive then saying my daughterâ€™s friendsâ€¦) so we did not have to get the cops involved. He told me he would think about it, once I told him I knew his name and proved it to him. We found them a few blocks later (after the girl called her father) and we approached them. Sadly, they are underage so not much I can do. But I let this girl question them, and the one boy emptied his pockets, like he did not have anything, but I still have a gut feeling he was lying. Another boy kept trying to get his friends to leave and ignore us, when my daughters friend question him about the phone, he said â€œdo I look like I have your fucking phoneâ€ and stepped towards her. Again, this is not my child, not my stepchild. I stepped in between and said â€œcalm the fuck down she just asked you a questionâ€ Now I do not know these boys, and with this town riddled with gangs and wannabes I do not know what this kid would try and do, fortunately he did nothing and we went on our way, phoneless, to meet her dad. I was not present when the phone went missing. I was not present to see the boys run away. I only know what I was told by my daughter and her friend. Then the events I have just discussed. This is what I get in return for my efforts from her mother: With all do respect to you, XXXX,and XXXXX I really do feel that there is more to the events that occurred tonight. And the fact that when this all took place that XXXXX's Dad or myself were not contacted. That should have been the first phone call, then the cops. The stories don't add up, and there are bits and pieces that are being left out 1) No one ever asked me what I did or didnâ€™t know or did or did not do. No asked me anything. 2) I did what I thought was right and what I would hope most people would do and that is try to help. It was how I was raised. Now this comes from someone that when my daughter goes to her house for a sleepover, she is having sex with the door wide open. When I dropped my daughter off she says to my daughter â€œWell look at this hoochie!â€ They also had concerns of me texting their daughter. Which I do, like this day of the missing phone, I knew she was coming over so I texted her (our daughter got her phone taken away for bad grades) to ask if she was sleeping over, knowing that if she was I had to go to the store. Or later that day she texted me to tell my daughter she was on her way over. I texted her back to tell her I was not home, so I could not give her the message. It pains me to think anyone would think I would be inappropriate with a child. I have stayed up all night with a pain in my heart knowing there is someone in this world that thinks this of me. I will always put a childs needs above my own. I would always protect a child, any child, with my life. What has become of all of us? Can we not help one another, especially when it is a child involved? Have we become so paranoid as a society that someone cannot compliment anotherâ€™s child? -----signature----- There's only one Currently playing:DAOC DAOC - Mysticmike rr12 SM un-retired WOW - Gjalpinulva 85 Mage semi retired
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Lynea Title: Dances with Trolls Posts: 82,344 Registered: Jul 26, '01 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 80,243 User ID: 280,742	Subject: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.
	I slept on it before replying. I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong, but I would be uncomfortable with some of the things you do. I would certainly not want you texting my daughter. If you needed to finalize plans and wouldn't allow your child to do it via the phone, then you could contact me or her father, but not her. If you wanted to join me in searching for her phone, that would've been fine, but I wouldn't be comfortable with you doing that yourself. Imagine if those kids had done something and my child were hurt while in your care? I would definitely hold you responsible. I think her parents are over-reacting, but you really can't be too careful these days. -----signature----- http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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myxomatosis8 Title: amateur zookeeper Posts: 18,778 Registered: Jul 14, '01 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 18,441 User ID: 251,097	Subject: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.
	I also hate to be over-reactive, but a random mature man texting a teenage girl isn't cool unless it's his daughter. And yes, friend's dad would qualify as "random" for me. -----signature----- If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.
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pkhere Title: Yes, they are real Posts: 54,387 Registered: Sep 4, '03 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 53,345 User ID: 835,741	Subject: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.
	sounds a little creepy to me, a friends father texting a teenage girl I don't know what time you grew up in, but I will be 50 years old soon and no one was allowed to paddle my mother's kids except her or my father. She didn't do that to anyone elses kids either. If me or my siblings were bad while being babysat, the person doing the babysitting sent us to our rooms, or made us sit down and behave until our parents got home. Then the babysitter told our parents what we had done that was wrong. /shrug -----signature----- "I wish I could lag during sex." - Reapist Jezza, so you know, you've been moved to the number 1 spot of my list of people with horrible taste on the board. -Wolfgar-
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Lynea Title: Dances with Trolls Posts: 82,344 Registered: Jul 26, '01 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 80,243 User ID: 280,742	Subject: Loooong rant. But I gotta vent.
	Same here, pk. I got my fair share of punishment, but no one other than my parents ever touched me or my sisters except our grandparents. -----signature----- http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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