piejack
Title: Goofy-goober
Posts:
32,771
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,274
User ID: 560,860
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
My teen daughter is going to be 15 next month.
We have never been particularly close. I am her stepfather and always kept a 'distance' and respect her privacy and space. I am very close with my other children (non step), hugging, kissing on the cheek and find it 'odd' that my teen daughter never shows anything but disregard for me. She is close to mom. Just wondering or if anyone has suggestions. I do things like take her out for special treats (her favorite candybar, out to coffee, etc). I talk with her often, and we share a lot in our Ipods and music and computer knowledge. I also drove her to school and home every day this last year, her freshman year in high-school.
any suggestions?
-----signature-----
Screwup just THIS MUCH&you'll be flying a cargo plane full o'rubber dogsh*outta HongKong!  "Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring in?" -T.Hanks/Castaway I'm drunk, but you are ugly  & In the morning Ill be sober!
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
Posts:
16,541
Registered:
Aug 24, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 16,161
User ID: 41,169
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
dunno, are there any other particular activities she enjoys, or might enjoy?
otherwise, I guess you'll just have to wait it out, I've got nothing here.
I certainly disliked my parents. We get along MUCH better now that I've moved 2000 miles away and had two little girls (though marrying someone they hate definitely didn't help but oh well).
-----signature-----
I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
- NR, #iranelection
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
Posts:
82,344
Registered:
Jul 26, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,243
User ID: 280,742
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
|
I never liked my parents growing up. Then again, my mother was never one for showing affection and my dad was basically absent (they were divorced.) Perhaps try showing her more affection once in a while? Maybe a hug just out of the blue? She might resist a little, but at least she will know you care as much about her as the rest of the kids.
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
|
|
Link to this post
|
piejack
Title: Goofy-goober
Posts:
32,771
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,274
User ID: 560,860
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
other hobbies?
I drive her places, like to her piano practice, to her baseball practice and games, to her friends house. I am transportation until she can drive.
We listen to her ipod in the car (she plugs it into the car radio)..
-----signature-----
Screwup just THIS MUCH&you'll be flying a cargo plane full o'rubber dogsh*outta HongKong! "Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring in?" -T.Hanks/Castaway I'm drunk, but you are ugly & In the morning Ill be sober!
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
Posts:
82,344
Registered:
Jul 26, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,243
User ID: 280,742
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
|
Being her chauffeur isn't including yourself in a hobby with her. Accident means actually participating in something with her.
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
|
|
Link to this post
|
myxomatosis8
Title: amateur zookeeper
Posts:
18,778
Registered:
Jul 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 18,441
User ID: 251,097
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
Maybe she actually feels left out. You said you're close to all "your" other kids but sort of distanced from her... I don't think I'd take well to feeling like I'm different from all the rest.
Even if you meant it totally to respect her and give her space.
What do I know though, I have never been in the situation.
-----signature-----
If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.
|
|
Link to this post
|
JohnMarshall12
Posts:
20
Registered:
Jul 3, '09
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 8
User ID: 1,362,369
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
She is a teenager so she will naturally be wanting to pull away from her parents. Part of the issue here may be that you are a step-father; however, I don't think that should matter too much. Even if you were a father, she would be pulling away some anyway just like any other daughters would.
In fact, I think the best advice is to talk to her directly about this and tell her what you would like to see happen and find out what she is thinking and feeling. Just don't expect the world to change with one talk as she may be reluctant to open up to you right away; however, if she sees that you are trying, I think she will likely come around after a while. I also agree with the other people who say that being a chaperon is not really taking an active role. Kids won't likely see this as anything more than a parental duty that you are obligated to do.
-----signature-----
Today is a great day!
|
|
Link to this post
|
piejack
Title: Goofy-goober
Posts:
32,771
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,274
User ID: 560,860
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
the distancing is her choice, not mine.
I treat all my kids equally. the others are much younger though, and show more affection. They are tucked in at night, and a teen is not. Differences like that, which are natual once you grow older. I wouldn't expect my 9 yr old son to give me goodnight hugs/kisses at 15. o.O
Have you ever tried talking to a teen!? They yell, "GO AWAY" 
-----signature-----
Screwup just THIS MUCH&you'll be flying a cargo plane full o'rubber dogsh*outta HongKong! "Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring in?" -T.Hanks/Castaway I'm drunk, but you are ugly & In the morning Ill be sober!
|
|
Link to this post
|
Silverwuf
Title: Have trike will babble
Posts:
32,958
Registered:
Jul 5, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,296
User ID: 225,902
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
piejack posted:
the distancing is her choice, not mine.
I treat all my kids equally. the others are much younger though, and show more affection. They are tucked in at night, and a teen is not. Differences like that, which are natual once you grow older. I wouldn't expect my 9 yr old son to give me goodnight hugs/kisses at 15. o.O
Have you ever tried talking to a teen!? They yell, "GO AWAY"
I would still have a quiet conversation with my teen before he/she went to bed and I would definitely give goodnight hugs to my child, no matter what age. Even teens need to feel safe and comfortable around their parents. I don't think my step kids ever yelled 'GO AWAY' to me when I tried honestly talking and listening to them. They liked that I was interested in them and their life.
Silver
-----signature-----
Women who behave themselves rarely make history. My Give-A-Damn's Busted. http://www.thewufs.com/2003venture/motortrike.htm
|
|
Link to this post
|
Darwynnia
Title: Sugar Kibbi
Posts:
38,553
Registered:
Oct 13, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 36,556
User ID: 845,204
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
piejack posted:
the distancing is her choice, not mine.
I treat all my kids equally. the others are much younger though, and show more affection. They are tucked in at night, and a teen is not. Differences like that, which are natual once you grow older. I wouldn't expect my 9 yr old son to give me goodnight hugs/kisses at 15. o.O
Have you ever tried talking to a teen!? They yell, "GO AWAY"
My daughter is 18 and gives me AND her stepfather goodnight hugs/kisses and when we're in public she'll still hold my hand when we're walking around.
We're that close and we show affection to each other.
She's NEVER yelled GO AWAY to me for anything. She's more apt to say, "Mom/Simon, can we talk about XZY??"
-----signature-----
Cluttered Desks and Ideas...
Sisters Forever
Susan Lynne Hall
1/20/69-12/21/05
Rest in Peace
|
|
Link to this post
|
piejack
Title: Goofy-goober
Posts:
32,771
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,274
User ID: 560,860
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
Good to know other teenagers like their parents!
It's probably our fault. We pamper her a lot. I iron her clothes every morning before school (skirt and uniform), and she has never held an iron in her life. we are just now teaching her to fold clothes and she is helping around more and more. At first her excuse was she was babysitting the 2 yr old (the younger siblings). She has never done dishes, and has only cleaned her room 2 or 3 times so now you can see floor. She's getting better, but the wife and I dont push her as much as I'd like with discipline (cleaning duties). I remember when I was a kid we'd take turn making dinner, cleaning up, doing dishes (by hand!) and cleaning the bathroom.
-----signature-----
Screwup just THIS MUCH&you'll be flying a cargo plane full o'rubber dogsh*outta HongKong! "Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring in?" -T.Hanks/Castaway I'm drunk, but you are ugly & In the morning Ill be sober!
|
|
Link to this post
|
myxomatosis8
Title: amateur zookeeper
Posts:
18,778
Registered:
Jul 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 18,441
User ID: 251,097
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
Wish you the best luck in the world. It must be damn near impossible to correct or reverse 15 years' worth of... "totally different" upbringing. Also sounds like if you and your wife aren't on the same page, it won't go far anyway.
Keep your chin up though. Sounds like you really do want to make a change, as long as you don't let a 15-yr old run what you do in your household!
-----signature-----
If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.
|
|
Link to this post
|
thefonzy22
Posts:
????
Registered:
????
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 0
User ID: 0
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
|
All i can say is good luck!
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jazzman_736585
Posts:
????
Registered:
????
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 0
User ID: 0
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
|
Good luck!
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
pkhere
Title: Yes, they are real
Posts:
54,387
Registered:
Sep 4, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 53,345
User ID: 835,741
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
Good Luck!!
I have only one child, and we are so close some would say it's sickening. (I don't care what other people think. I am blessed to have the same relationship with my child as I had with my parents while growing up) He can talk to his father and I about anything.
How long have you been her stepfather? Does that have anything to do with it?
-----signature-----
"I wish I could lag during sex." - Reapist
Jezza, so you know, you've been moved to the
number 1 spot of my list of people
with horrible taste on the board. -Wolfgar-
|
|
Link to this post
|
bong051469
Posts:
????
Registered:
????
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 0
User ID: 0
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
|
TOS Trolling
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cynxy
Posts:
????
Registered:
????
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 0
User ID: 0
|
Subject:
Do all teenagers dislike their parents?
|
mine think I am strange and listen to my music too loud
but I have been told I am a cool mom.. no my teens are not perfect and we do have disagreements but never have I been told I am disliked or even thought that!
of course I only have one teenager at home now.. thank the lord we made it
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
