-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
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argh @ the preschool
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so Thursday my little one wet her pants in school, and today I sent her to school with an extra pair to replace the spare pair she'd used (so she'll always have a spare at school). no biggie, right?
well, she told her teacher she wanted to put on the spare pants that I'd sent with her. the teacher said no, those were only for if she wets her pants and needs a change.
so naturally my kid goes, "OK!" closed her eyes and peed her pants. 
the teacher had to leave the room, she was laughing so hard.
the director told me about it today and was still laughing herself. apparently she thought it was both precious and hysterical. evidently no one thought to tell me daughter that it is wrong to piss yourself on purpose, they were all too busy laughing. >.<
we'll see if they're still laughing on Monday when I send the kid with another pair of pants and she wets herself again because she wants to wear the spares.
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Varece
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That's so not right 
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I am no longer young enough to know everything Knowledge is Free  America's Libraries "You embrace that which defines you" "If you tell the truth, you don't need a good memory" We're not perfect...we're parents
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Sarena_WE
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OK I agree 100% that they handled that wrong but I have to admit, I chuckled a bit too.
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myxomatosis8
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Awww, poor kid... Not the end of the world though, I'm sure you can give them hell, as well as explain to your little one yourself. 
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Lynea
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I can totally understand why they laughed, but it really wasn't the best way to handle the situation. Did you talk with your daughter about this to let her know she'd be punished if she did this again?
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http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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Silverwuf
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I don't honestly think that your daughter should be punished for what she's done until it's explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. Young kids have their own logic and sometimes when grownups make rules, kids take them quite literally.
Perhaps you should first talk with your daycare providers to let them know what your expectations are in regard to discipline for your child and then sit down with them and your daughter to explain to her why what she did was inappropriate. If your daughter knows what is expected of her and that her parents and care providers agree, she will most likely choose to do the right thing.
Silver
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-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
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Silverwuf posted:
I don't honestly think that your daughter should be punished for what she's done until it's explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable. Young kids have their own logic and sometimes when grownups make rules, kids take them quite literally.
Perhaps you should first talk with your daycare providers to let them know what your expectations are in regard to discipline for your child and then sit down with them and your daughter to explain to her why what she did was inappropriate. If your daughter knows what is expected of her and that her parents and care providers agree, she will most likely choose to do the right thing.
Silver
yeah, I think you're right Silver. I didn't really want to punish her for this because 1) she's three years old and the infraction took place HOURS before and 2) the way the teacher phrased her response must have been pretty misleading for the kid ("hey, all I have to do is wet myself and I get to wear the pants I want, cool!"). It obviously didn't help that the teacher and director laughed, because to a kid, that could be taken to indicate approval. I tried to explain to the kid that it is NEVER ok to wet yourself on purpose. She's only 3, but I think she can understand the difference between a potty accident and purposefully wetting yourself.
the preschool, however...I have to admit I'd have thought they'd know better by now, hell, they have a LOT more experience dealing with three-year-olds than I have, right? apparently I assumed wrong.
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Silverwuf
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She's three? OMG, I feel for ya'. My daughter's three as well.
Three year olds are on the ragged edge of potty training anyway, never mind the fact that they take EVERYTHING you say literally. Honestly, there are times that I just can't keep from laughing at my daughter either.
Normally, telling my daughter that something is 'naughty' will send her into a flurry of tears and 'I'm so sorry, Mommy!' Then she never does it again.
Silver
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-Accident-
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argh, this is just not working.
so of course today my precious child ( ) pulled the same thing (and I TOLD her that it was naughty to wet yourself just so you could wear different pants) and this time the teacher didn't find it amusing.
then to top it off...the spare pants in her bag were not pink. she REALLY wanted pink pants so now THIS time, all hell broke loose.
so the teacher called me to ask, "What should I do next time?" because the kids already went home for the day.
I said, "Well, did you punish her?"
Teacher: "Well, no...I didn't want to yell at her so I got another member of the staff to try to talk to her..."
Me: "Did that work?"
Teacher: "Well, no..."
omgwtf. if that had happened at my house, I would have opened a can of whoopass. wetting yourself on purpose and then throwing a tantrum?! WHY THE HELL WON'T THESE PEOPLE PUNISH THIS CHILD. I thought these guys knew how to deal with small children!! the kid is walking all over them and she is WINNING.
I told the teacher to please give the kid a timeout or whatever they do for punishment and she said they don't really do that. but she said they could make her sit in the "naughty" chair and I said fine, then do that. holy crap.
and the worst thing is, by the time I get home, it will have been hours since the event took place, how the hell do I punish the kid hours after her infraction? I think I'm going to have to implement some kind of system to say, ok, you were good at school today, you get a sticker and this many stickers earns you this reward (like I can do some activity with her that she enjoys or something). uh oh, you were naughty at school today, so you get this privilege revoked or whatever. I dunno. what do y'all think? Obviously I've got to do SOMETHING because it looks to me like the preschool staff can't find their arses with both hands.
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Lynea
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You need to talk to the pre-school director. It sounds like this particular teacher has no clue how to actually deal with children.
I think your idea with the stars is good, but make sure she knows what privileges she will lose if she misbehaves and stick to your guns.
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http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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Silverwuf
Title: Have trike will babble
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Yeah, I agree with Lynea. Let the school director know that you are not happy with the care this care giver is providing. My daycare would never let something like this happen more than once.
If that teacher can't enforce discipline, she shouldn't be teaching.
Silver
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Gaevren
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Yikes. Okay I have to admit I probably would have laughed hysterically the first time around, simply because I wouldn't have been expecting it and it is a rather clever way of getting what you want! I try *not* to laugh when my kids do hilarious (albeit naughty or wrong) things because I don't want them to get the wrong message, but sometimes I just get blindsided and the laughing commences.
However, the second time around there should have been some kind of repercussions, and I'm wondering what the heck these teachers are doing. I don't think you can really punish her at home for something that happened hours ago at school when she's so young, but I might be mistaken. I also would be having a serious discussion with the director. There's just no excuse for that teacher's behavior.
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Silverwuf
Title: Have trike will babble
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Just a thought... what would happen if the 'spare pair' of panties you send with her is a disposable diaper or a pull up? You could let her know ahead of time that these would be the panties she will have to wear should she soil her other ones. Would that be enough to discourage this behavior?
This might take the responsibility of discipline away from your daycare provider as well, much as I disagree with how she handled this.
My daughter would rather die than have to wear diapers ever again.
Silver
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Women who behave themselves rarely make history. My Give-A-Damn's Busted. http://www.thewufs.com/2003venture/motortrike.htm
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-Accident-
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It's not a bad idea but I don't know if my daughter will care if she's in a pullup. I can try.
For now we're doing a couple of things.
- Going to go talk to the director, of course. I'm still disgusted that their short-sightedness caused this problem, and I want to be sure we are working to fix it.
- There will no longer be pink pants kept at the preschool, and I will tell her so. If she hates her change of clothes, she (hopefully) won't be in a hurry to soil the ones she's in.
- Returning to praising her whenever she DOES use the potty, just like when we started training. Maybe taking a step back will help, we never know.
- If she is naughty at school or with the babysitter, she will lose TV privileges for the next day. No idea whether this will work but who knows because she LOVES TV.
- If she is good and does not get in trouble at school or with the babysitter, she can get a sticker. Ten stickers means we can do something fun together, like baking cookies (she loves to do that).
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I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
- NR, #iranelection
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Silverwuf
Title: Have trike will babble
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Sounds like a great plan. Good luck
Silver
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Lynea
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^What Silver said. Good luck!
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http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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-Accident-
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well, she came home dry today and everyone (including my daughter) is pretty pleased so far. kudos were had for being good at school today. we'll see how next week goes.
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I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
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Tuneses
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Yay!
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