Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
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Focus On: Dark_EternalFF
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Today's victim is Dark_EternalFF. I've known DE for years (we both played on FF) and really miss the fan fiction he used to write for AC. While I know a lot about you, there are probably people who don't. So, spill it!!
Previous Focus On victims include:
Rikostan
Caledric
Trunks-san_MT
MoFoEskimo
.Kid.
pkhere
Oedipus_Zarathustra
ghostparasyte
hart_thorin
-Abednego-
Akarat
For a look at the old Focus On threads, check out the Archives. If you want to be "focused on" but haven't signed up previously, please PM me.
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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pkhere
Title: Yes, they are real
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wow, this should be an interesting read 
-----signature-----
"I wish I could lag during sex." - Reapist
Jezza, so you know, you've been moved to the
number 1 spot of my list of people
with horrible taste on the board. -Wolfgar-
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Prydeheart
Title: Gentleman of the Night
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I know he's a D&D geek that perpetually rolls 20s.
...or maybe I don't know that.
-----signature-----
"You are a very bad man, Pryde." - Kestrel
WoW: Elune Server (Onogramm)
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wolfzbane
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He lives in the Mother-state and has the world's biggest penis
-----signature-----
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Gaevren
Title: Wat do?
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tag
-----signature-----
There are no automatic doors, just very polite ninjas
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Gustaive_MT
Title: i didn;t make the :P post LOL
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he is my page and sends me pics lolz
-----signature-----
"why not first we gonna ban guns and then knives and then bats and then impose kill free zones!!!"
"i wonder how much change did the ring brought LOL."
"too bad america didn't drop a few more nukes into japan."
"it was half like say 9.5 instead of 10
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Lanacan
Title: Random, Crazy, Mental....
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pkhere posted:
wow, this should be an interesting read
-----signature-----
(none)
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Gustaive_MT
Title: i didn;t make the :P post LOL
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He likes Lone Wolf too *swoon*
-----signature-----
"why not first we gonna ban guns and then knives and then bats and then impose kill free zones!!!"
"i wonder how much change did the ring brought LOL."
"too bad america didn't drop a few more nukes into japan."
"it was half like say 9.5 instead of 10
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-Foxy-
Title: Moderator
Ãœber Brat
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talk please!
-----signature-----
Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
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Goatstar
Title: Community Builder
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Taaaaaaag
-----signature-----
My pants are now perma-wet from Diablo 3 http://tinyurl.com/lzd9sg
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UpAngel180
Title: Iron Chef
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He constantly cracks me up, so this ought to be a good read!
-----signature-----
It's not that I'm an elitist, its that I truly am better than you.
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Kuldar_Moritan
Title: Keeper of the Monkey
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This should be a good read 
-----signature-----
Calin Moritan - retired "I don't mean I actually want Ryker's weenie." - Bhutthed it takes longer for the horomone to get in the pee if you're bigger - Vielka http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=105296&TabID=900795 - Home of SBT!
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zellokiia
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I already know what he will post:
I'm an ass
I'm really a pussy when it comes to my girl even though I post like I'm a gangster
Like every cheating latino male in my family, I claim that I don't
I can eat a bag of doritos in one sitting and not gain any weight
I love zell cuz she is my big aries sister
-----signature-----
~Hoochie~ Bumper Sticker: If you are riding my arse, you'd better be pulling my hair http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v364/zellokiia/jettired3.jpg Caledric:You can please all the ppl some of the time,some ppl all of the time,but you can never please zell
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Myn_Darklighter
Title: lector caveo sarcasm coerceo
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He's a skinny little frack who can eat 25,000 calories a day and LOSE weight, and can probably drink most of you so called "drunks" under the table.
Oh, and he knows a few things about IT too.
His girlfriend is pretty hot, one of these days he should come to his senses, and marry her.
-----signature-----
"Mr. Clean? Seriously!?!?! Did she think his Magic Eraser would restore her virginity, too?" -- Lynea
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.Kid.
Title: Disgustipated
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zellokiia posted:
I already know what he will post:
I'm an ass
I'm really a pussy when it comes to my girl even though I post like I'm a gangster
Like every cheating latino male in my family, I claim that I don't
I can eat a bag of doritos in one sitting and not gain any weight
I love zell cuz she is my big aries sister
LOL
zell pwned DE's focus on thread.
-----signature-----
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-Abednego-
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[face_gluedtoACF]
-----signature-----
Voted #1 Dad by household 6yo's
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Velvet_Ice
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This is going to be good.
-----signature-----
Love in your heart wasnt meant there to stay Love isnt love until you give it away  - 9-11- Always Remember- By the way, Im a girl. 
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Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
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TLDR
(give me a bit; I have to finish getting dressed and go to work before I bash this out. I'm naked atm)
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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--Rhett--
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This should be good. 
-----signature-----
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KahunaLaguna
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Zell wins this thread..... 
Give it up Renton! 
-----signature-----
 My mind is firmly planted in the gutter.... next to the rest of the ACF community.
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HeartView
Title: Be right back...
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Taggy for later.
-----signature-----
"My brothers and sisters all hated me because I was an only child." http://www.indiefl.com/acf/profile/86 PM me for the password to my Photobucket: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v455/HeartView/
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Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
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Dark_EternalFF posted:
(give me a bit; I have to finish getting dressed and go to work before I bash this out. I'm naked atm)
I'm so disappointed. I was sure you'd type this naked, as usual.
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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crimsOncOlOrs
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Goatstar posted:
Taaaaaaag
-----signature-----
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gpputnam
Title: Why are you reading this?
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Lynea posted:
Dark_EternalFF posted:
(give me a bit; I have to finish getting dressed and go to work before I bash this out. I'm naked atm)
I'm so disappointed. I was sure you'd type this naked, as usual.
don't forget 'typed it with his penis'...
-----signature-----
Currently playing: [insert random game][Xbox 360] Social Engineering Expert... because you can't patch human stupidity http://live.xbox.com/member/Unhappy%20Funball “Buy land, they're not making it anymore†Mark Twain
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Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
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gpputnam posted:
Lynea posted:
Dark_EternalFF posted:
(give me a bit; I have to finish getting dressed and go to work before I bash this out. I'm naked atm)
I'm so disappointed. I was sure you'd type this naked, as usual.
don't forget 'typed it with his penis'...
That's implied when DE is naked.
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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Gilligan.USCG
Title: Stuck on the Island
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DE, you better not leave out how I got Herpes from your Girlfriend, then you got AIDs from her.
YOU BETTER NOT! 
-----signature-----
www.ice9gaming.com - cs / tf2 / bf2
<3 Oregon State - CWS Winnars x2
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Storm_Seeker
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Ohhh! I love DE!!
-----signature-----
(none)
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Velvet_Ice
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Dark_EternalFF posted:
I'm naked atm
Pics or it didnt happen!
-----signature-----
Love in your heart wasnt meant there to stay Love isnt love until you give it away - 9-11- Always Remember- By the way, Im a girl.
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Silverwuf
Title: Have trike will babble
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gpputnam posted:
Lynea posted:
Dark_EternalFF posted:(give me a bit; I have to finish getting dressed and go to work before I bash this out. I'm naked atm)
I'm so disappointed. I was sure you'd type this naked, as usual.
don't forget 'typed it with his penis'...
--------------------------------------------------------
Doesn't it make you uncomfortable that you know this much about DE???
Unfortunately, I thought the same thing. I've known DE since his Max Fox days in Frostfell and still keep in touch with his patron.
And yes, I MISS HIS FAN FICTION TOO!!!! 
Silver
-----signature-----
Women who behave themselves rarely make history. My Give-A-Damn's Busted. http://www.thewufs.com/2003venture/motortrike.htm
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Angelina_Rayne
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tag for when DE is actually clothed
-----signature-----
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Kuldar_Moritan
Title: Keeper of the Monkey
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Yes Silver, I still haven't forgiven him for stopping his fan fiction
-----signature-----
Calin Moritan - retired "I don't mean I actually want Ryker's weenie." - Bhutthed it takes longer for the horomone to get in the pee if you're bigger - Vielka http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=105296&TabID=900795 - Home of SBT!
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Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
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This is getting pretty long, and I'm skipping as much as I can  Man, a lot has happened to me 
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Storm_Seeker
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Tell us everything DE! Right down to the hot steamy ... oh nevermind! 
-----signature-----
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Silverwuf
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Hi Kuldar!!!
-----signature-----
Women who behave themselves rarely make history. My Give-A-Damn's Busted. http://www.thewufs.com/2003venture/motortrike.htm
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Kuldar_Moritan
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-----signature-----
Calin Moritan - retired "I don't mean I actually want Ryker's weenie." - Bhutthed it takes longer for the horomone to get in the pee if you're bigger - Vielka http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=105296&TabID=900795 - Home of SBT!
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Lanacan
Title: Random, Crazy, Mental....
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OMFG! KULDAR!
/humps Kuldar's leg
-----signature-----
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Angelina_Rayne
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there are too many inuendos in this thread... I blame DE
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-Abednego-
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HURRY UP! 
-----signature-----
Voted #1 Dad by household 6yo's
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Lanacan
Title: Random, Crazy, Mental....
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-Abednego- posted:
HURRY UP!
No kidding...sheesh
-----signature-----
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_Alexandra_
Title: Lady of the Spatula
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Where are you from?
What is your favorite food?
Do you have any siblings?
Pics of DE plz.
Oh and one more thing...Do you really "love" FE as much as he says you do?
-----signature-----
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Dark_EternalFF
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Jeez, this is turning into a novel. I'm almost done with the college years, so expect the post soon
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Super_Samson
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nice
-----signature-----
"Put them on bar 10 next to tcp's banelords" - Proxey
Supersamson - Grrmooo - Jonsamson -Caerleon *Retired*
Jonsamson - 85 Mage Earthen Ring
Xbox Live - DrunkSamson
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-Abednego-
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Post ch1 then and finish the rest while we're reading.
Oh yea, and make sure you answer:
What super power have you always wished you had?
What's in your wallet right now?
What you have in your fridge right now?
Who's in your kitchen making you a sandwitch at this moment?
-----signature-----
Voted #1 Dad by household 6yo's
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HeartView
Title: Be right back...
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And answer the age old question of... "Who's yer daddy?!"
-----signature-----
"My brothers and sisters all hated me because I was an only child." http://www.indiefl.com/acf/profile/86 PM me for the password to my Photobucket: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v455/HeartView/
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Hyperimiator
Title: Maximus Probus
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Yeah spill yer guts, who loves ya, if we don't.
-----signature-----
The Hyperimiator song http://www.wfmu.org/listen.ram?show=1639&starttime=1:40:35 "You are never going to be able to vote for the revolution. Get that hope out of your mind" -Jerry Rubin http://www.youtube.com/user/Hyperimiator#p/u
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Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
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INCOMING GIANT WALL OF TEXT, SEE CLIFF NOTES AT THE BOTTOM IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE TOO LONG DIDN'T READ PEOPLE
You have my apologies in advance, as this is going to probably be pretty long. Not only do I wish to share lots with you guys, but a lot has also happened to me in my brief 23 years!
I was wrought into this world at a little after midnight on a Friday the 13th in May (which I'm sure made a lot of you just go "Oooh, NOW I understand!"). The doctors apparently tried their best to have me born before then, but they also thought I was going to be a girl, so apparently I had noob doctors. Mom knew better, and said I was going to be a boy.
Hi, my name is Michael.
I am named for my grandmother's first child, which was stillborn. I might have ended up the same way, but when a similar incident happened during labor - my heartbeat changed - my grandmother demanded that the doctors perform a cesarean. That mental image still makes me laugh...I can just see her tiny Panamanian frame, screaming at the poor doctors to cut me out. That woman would become one of the defining influences in my life up until her death, and is the closest thing I have to a personal hero.
My biological parents divorced when I was one or two; I don't really remember. Though I was born in Tacoma, Washington, I apparently lived before the divorce out in a house in Port Orchard. I have a very very faint memory of being carried down the hall by my father in that house, but my real memories don't start until the apartment that my mother and I shared in Puyallup. My father moved up to Sitka, Alaska to be with his father. He and I keep in loose touch and see each other about once a year; he's a nice, funny guy and his child support payments helped me through college, so I have no beef with him at all. My mother and I are very close, and look very much alike - she is just like me in that she doesn't seem to age, and we have been confused for siblings at times. She's a hard-working, generous, sensitive woman and I have a lot of respect and love for her. Neither parent will speak on the reasons for their divorce, but from bits of information that I've pieced together, there was a much greater problem than just an argument about living location.
My mother was a medical technologist at the time, and worked very hard to support the two of us. Funny story about the two of us in the apartment - one night, I was very very very sick. I crawled out of my bed, toddled across the hall, and straddled my mother (who is a tiny woman at about 5'1"). "Mommy...mommy, I'm sick..." I weakly said. She started to sit up and said, "Oh, honey, what's-" and I vomited all over her. She carried me to the bathroom while I was puking the whole way, but by the time she got me to the toilet, I was cleaned out.
When I was three, she met my stepdad (whom I will pretty much refer to hereafter as dad) and when I was six or seven, they were married. Dad is a giant of a man, 6'4", and while he and I have certainly butted heads over the years, he did a damn good job of helping to raise me. He is the hardest-working person I have ever known, very driven and motivated, and despite his big, soft heart he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings until I was much older. He also taught me to ski, which I began doing shortly after he and my mother met.
After they were married, we moved to a house in ghetto-ass South Tacoma. It wasn't as bad as, say, South-Central LA, but it certainly wasn't the most friendly place for a child to grow up. We lived next door to various drug dealers the entire time we were there, and a registered child molester also lived a few doors down. In the interest of keeping the wall of text a bit shorter, I'll cut out a lot of the crazy-person stories I have from there, but if you're really intrigued, I can post more later.
Elementary school was pretty rough. I was small, extremely intelligent, and have an unusual last name, so I was made fun of a lot. I went to one school until first grade, when I had a teacher who literally would beat her students using a yardstick, which she called 'The Board of Education'. My mother tells me that every day I would come home crying, and I remember nothing but terror in that classroom. I was quickly transferred to a different school, and last I heard, that teacher was forced to quit teaching. My new school wasn't much better; I had excellent teachers, but lots of difficulties making friends. The one really good friend I did manage to make moved to Montana when I was in the third grade, and I didn't really make another quite like him until Middle School. In Elementary School, I was in the Bells Choir, I was vice-president of the student body, and I won a lot of spelling bees.
It was in Elementary school that I got the long scar above my right eyebrow. I was playing basketball one day during a rainy-day recess, and the floors were very slick. I tripped over someone's foot, and went skidding across the floor into one of the metal supports for the wooden benches that ran the perimeter of the gym. I don't remember feeling any pain, but what I do remember is standing up, looking back at all the horrified faces staring at me and going, "What? Why are you staring at me? And why is there so much water running down my face?" Then I looked down at the blood covering me and the floor and freaked a little bit. 32 stitches later, everything was patched up.
When I was seven years old I was first introduced into the world of sex. Some friends of the family had been invited to a cabin for a weekend getaway, and they had a little girl about my age; I think she was 8. She suggested that we play 'house', and as I was bored, I agreed. We 'pretended to go to sleep', and suddenly she was on top of me, dryhumping like crazy. This went on for awhile (I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say, it was a real eye-opener) and then we stopped. My parents got quite a shock, as I was still fairly religious at the time (more on that later) and felt guilty about it until I told them. Turns out the little girl had a teacher who had some anatomically correct dolls in her classroom, and was a little too forthright with knowledge in that department.
When I was 8, I took my first trip to Panama to visit my mother's side of the family and see much of their heritage. My grandmother was one of 10 children - her mother Panamanian, her father French. They never married, but settled down in Panama and started a large family, which grew and grew into many members. Manuel, one of my grandmother's brothers, has been dead for four years, and we're still finding his children.
Anyway, Middle School was better than Elementary School. I made a lot more friends, girls started showing interest in me (though some of you would probably be horrified if you found out how one of them expressed it) and I found my wit, which stopped people from making fun of me and gained me some popularity. I also found that I really enjoyed writing as well as drawing, and had quite a bit of skill with both. A friend of mine and I started writing a 'choose your own adventure'-type fantasy book, with supplemental drawings and whatnot, which I still have (though it's incomplete, and honestly not very good).
Dad remodeled our old house while I was in Middle School (he was a general residential contractor until very recently...like, last week recently) - jacked the roof up a story and
put the framing for the second story in. We lived in a trailer on the property for 9 months while this was happening. Fun times!
My parents had always wanted a bigger family, since I am an only child, but conception proved difficult. They tried all sorts of fertility treatments, and just when they had given up, mom turned up to be pregnant when I was about 11. Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage a few months later, so I remain an only child to this day. She was absolutely devastated by the loss, and never tried for another child again. (Incidentally, being an only child is not all that it is cracked up to be...you are alone quite often).
I also started swimming competetively when I was in the 8th grade. Swimming would take me many places I hadn't been before, and become a staple of my existence all the way up through High School.
Speaking of High School, it was pretty good, all things considered. I attended Henry Foss High School (where that stupid shooting took place a couple months ago) because of the International Baccalaureate program that they had there. For those who don't know, IB is kind of like AP, but supposedly more difficult and also competitive on an international level. I was very popular in High School, despite it being about 2,000 students in size (and despite my still diminutive stature). I was a Varsity Swimmer, Varsity Water Polo player, and played golf for fun in the off-season. At the end of my freshman year, my family finally moved out of the ghetto and back to Puyallup, but I continued to attend Foss until my graduation in 2001.
When I was sixteen, I had sex for the first time. You may find this odd that I mention it, but the events leading to it, the incident itself, and past it are rather interesting and a somewhat defining point in my development. At the time, I was very interested in a young girl who claimed that she was interested in me, but just couldn't quite get past her boyfriend, who was older and in the military. She also decided to play me and an exchange student off of each other, for ****s and giggles. By the time the exchange student and I realized it (and became friends) her boyfriend had come back and she was back with him. We were angry, and I became slightly depressed, as it always seemed that women would simply use me for whatever end they wanted, and toss me back when done. I grew up constantly hearing, "You're too small, you're cute but..." etc, and it was starting to drain on me, since I was stupid and wanted a more serious relationship.
Anyway, I ended up being a counselor at a camp for young kids for a few weeks, and one of the other counselors there happened to be my first grade teacher's daughter. She was 18, and apparently a big slut, though I didn't know it at the time. I was depressed, and she was interested in my mythical Penis of Time. She woke me up at 2am one night by sticking her tongue in my ear, and I said, "Meh, what the hell" and rolled over and nailed her.
It was the story of the year at my high school. My sex life was VERY public, and became embellished by people other than myself, to the point where I was near-legendary. I never really spoke to or screwed that chick again, though, and just gave up really wanting to do anything remotely close to a relationship. This 'fame' was compounded even moreso by an incident that happened at my church when I was 18, but I'll save that for the religious section.
Shortly after the sex incident, I had the opportunity to travel to China and compete in a swimming competition there through a program called the Washington Cultural Exchange. I spent 14 days in China, visiting Hong Kong, competing in Guangzhou, and then taking a trip to Beijing, and had an absolute blast. I also brought back Tuberculosis with me, QQ. 9 months of Isoniazid killed those guys, though.
When I was 18, I traveled to Floriduh for the first time, for another swimming competition, this time with the Boys and Girls Club that I swam for on the side. This was another fun experience, and I got to visit lots of the theme parts and whatnot in the Sarasota/Orlando area.
I graduated HS with honors, tested for my full IB diploma, got it (it was ridiculously easy) and went on to Central Washington University. I had plenty of opportunity outside the state and in (Gonzaga offered me a $20k scholarship) but I didn't have the money to go out of state and I didn't want the huge student loan debt.
College was simultaneously the best and worst time of my life (and you guys are really going to get cheated, because I'm going to have to cut a LOT of cool stories out, otherwise you'd be reading this crap forever). I walked into college deciding I would be a Computer Science Major, as computers had always interested me and I was pretty good with mechanical stuff, and I also decided that I wasn't going to try for any sort of relationship, I was just going to screw as many women as possible, and nobody was going to be let inside.
Of course, two weeks after I got into college, I met Kellie. She was a cute girl who was a lot of fun to be with, and we quickly started a relationship. Our relationship, however, was rather rollercoaster-ish. While we were still freshmen, she started hanging out with my next-door neighbor (Scott) a lot more than me. I knew she was interested and told her as such, but she denied it vehemently. Eventually, I just broke up with her. The next day, of course, she was in his bed.
I was pretty upset, since she was my first real love, went home for a visit, and ended up messing around with a friend from HS in her boyfriend's house. She had always wanted me, and ended up coming to Central to 'finish the job' as it were. Kellie got really jealous, and I made a dumbass move and decided to get back together with her. Our relationship ended about a year later, as she started to change into this person I really disliked. Shortly thereafter, Kellie and I started a 'friends with benefits' type relationship, which would end abruptly.
During this entire time, I had been talking to her friend, Marie, who went to a different school, online. We were pretty good friends and I had helped her through some really rough times and clinical depression, and about two months after Kellie and I had broken up, we decided to meet in person. At this point, nothing had happened between us and we were still friends, though both of us were wondering if there was more to it than that. Kellie, seeing this coming, decided that she'd invite Scott over (despite the fact that the two of them hadn't talked in ages) for a weekend of ****y sucky, to try and make me jealous. She even went so far as to tell me that she'd had feelings for him the entire time we were dating, despite the fact that nothing had happened between me and Marie as of yet.
Marie and I asked Kellie if she would mind if something happened between us, to which she expressed her decided disinterest in me and what could happen. Marie and a friend came to visit, and naturally, I took them out partying. When we got back to my place, Marie realized she'd forgotten her purse somewhere, so a buddy of mine took her to get it. While she was gone, her friend (who was engaged) jumped me, and we ended up messing around. I stopped short of actually screwing her and, being incredibly drunk, decided to call Kellie.
*ring* "Hey, do you know where Marie is? I just got done with one of your friends and I kind of want to do the other one..."
"I don't know. I'm going to bed." *click*
As you can imagine, that went over pretty badly...evenmoreso when I followed through and nailed Marie.
This all happened within the first two years of college. The summer of my sophomore year, a lot of drama happened between me, Marie, and Kellie, because Marie was still seeing me. This 'hey, come over and let's screw' eventually turned into a relationship which is still going on today. I don't talk to Kellie anymore, and she refuses to talk to Marie when they see each other.
That summer was rough in more ways than one - I failed my first ever class and decided that Programming wasn't really what I wanted to do. I also drank a lot more than I should have, and was knocking back probably about three bottles of Jack with a buddy of mine every week. However, I got my act together with no small amount of help from my parents, and in the Fall I switched majors to Information Technology and Administrative Management. This was a very convenient switch, as I was able to push most of my CS credits over and graduate in another two years as planned.
It was during my senior year that my grandmother became very ill and eventually died. I got to watch helplessly as one of the most important people in my life suffer for two weeks. I wrote her eulogy and delivered it at her funeral, which about a hundred people attended. I would like to tell you all a lot more about her, because she's an amazing woman, but the amount of stories and nostalgia between the two of us would fill several hundred pages and you would all fall asleep. I will say that she is a large part of the reason why I have become as successful as I have been, and I miss her terribly.
After graduation, I moved back home while I looked for a job. There was some serious drama going on with getting my diploma (which I'll cut out in the interest of keeping this bible a bit shorter) but eventually I got it and I found my current job, working as a Network Administrator for a small series of medical and plastic surgery clinics. I live in Renton with two gay furries (one was a roommate in college...I've got plenty of roommate horror stories), and Marie lives in Everett. We see each other weekly.
Random tidbits:
-I was very religious until I was about 10, but I continued to be active in my church up through High School. I also nailed a hottie in the basement of a convent on church grounds during a church lock-in for a High School Youth Group that I was one of the leaders for
-I have a 'third ear'. It's a little bump on the left side of my head, right next to my ear, that has been there since birth. Supposedly it indicates intelligence, but after reading all this crap, I'm sure you'll disagree.
-I went to Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama when I was in Middle School.
-I have been to Panama twice, China once, and have visited Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Alabama, Texas, and Florida. I had a brief layover in Seoul, South Korea.
-Me and a buddy once broke into my Middle School by picking the locks.
-I once skipped High School to go skiing with a friend, which led to a lot of shenanigans and my parents eventually finding out.
-I played baseball and basketball in various forms until I was in High School for our local Boys and Girls Club. I was terrible at it, and always got the crappy 'Most Inspirational' reward.
-One of my best friends never told me he was Mormon until after I'd known him for several years. He was afraid that I wouldn't be his friend anymore if I knew.
-I was introduced to Asheron's Call in College, and started posting on the VNs shortly thereafter. Lynea is the first person to ever reply to one of my topics, which was an auction for a crappy Major Leader Xbow that I was demanding like 6 Smalls for.
-My parents have always hated video games, so I always bought my own systems, from age 8 onwards. I worked very hard for them and in other places to buy the things I wanted.
-I have been a construction worker, a lockerroom attendant, a lifeguard, a computer labs manager, a construction worker again, and finally a Network Administrator. I have never gone a full year without having a job since I was fifteen.
-My parents are trying to adopt two children from Guatemala this year. Everything is in the process of getting approved. The cost is astronomical, so I've been helping them out as I can. I'm excited
-My favorite food is steak. My grandmother used to cut it for me and put it on a little TV tray when I would stay the night at her house. When she got too old, I would cut her food for her and help her eat it. We would laugh about how the tables have turned.
-My favorite candy is gummi bears. I once at a 2 lbs. bag in one sitting. They were good.
I could go on for days telling you guys stories, since I cut an incredible amount of crap out of this, but if there's something specific you want to know, please ask!
CLIFF NOTES: MY PENIS IS BIGGER THAN YOURS GAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Dark_EternalFF
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-Abednego- posted:
Post ch1 then and finish the rest while we're reading.
Oh yea, and make sure you answer:
What super power have you always wished you had?
What's in your wallet right now?
What you have in your fridge right now?
Who's in your kitchen making you a sandwitch at this moment?
1. Energy manipulation.
2. Various cards, an uncashed check, a picture of my gf and family, a tattoo that I drew for myself that I haven't gotten.
3. Lots of leftovers. One of my roomies loves to cook.
4. Zell.
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Prydeheart
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nice read, DE.
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Good stuff DE, I skimmed and will read with a fine tooth comb later to get all the juicy details.
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Lynea
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Nice read!! I cannot believe I've known you since your first year of college!!
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
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Gilligan.USCG
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I didn't read it. All I know is you suck at pvp
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Gaevren
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Awesome, thank you. I will probably think of some questions to ask but right now I am simply assimilating the info.
and LOL at your cliff notes
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Dark_EternalFF
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STFU NOOB GILLIGAN
I PWN J00
JUST LIKE STRAHD
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Storm_Seeker
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Hows being a Druid lately DE?
We have this connection from suffering through that which be the Druid class together.
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Dark_EternalFF
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Storm_Seeker posted:
Hows being a Druid lately DE?
We have this connection from suffering through that which be the Druid class together.
Kicks ass, cause I'm Balance and wtfpwn everything. My guild doesn't suck, and they love the Moonkin We did some Karazhan last night, that was fun.
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Myn_Darklighter
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Dark_EternalFF posted:
STFU NOOB GILLIGAN
I PWN J00
JUST LIKE STRAHD
well when you pick on people who are AFK, you do tend to win most PvP battles.
-----signature-----
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Gilligan.USCG
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Dark_EternalFF posted:
STFU NOOB GILLIGAN
I PWN J00
JUST LIKE STRAHD
Should I bring up that time outside Sub, again? 
-----signature-----
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Dark_EternalFF
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Hell, I don't even REMEMBER that
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Gilligan.USCG
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DENIAL!
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piejack
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thx for the post.
nice read.
LOL @ smalls.
epeen?
too bad you had to cut out all the good college stories, maybe you can post a part II later for us!
-----signature-----
Screwup just THIS MUCH&you'll be flying a cargo plane full o'rubber dogsh*outta HongKong!  "Tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring in?" -T.Hanks/Castaway I'm drunk, but you are ugly  & In the morning Ill be sober!
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Super_Samson
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interesting read
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.Kid.
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Good read. Would've never guessed about the religion stuff.
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Immortal_Haze
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Very cool read bro. You probably live about 10 miles from me lol. Give us a good college story!
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pkhere
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Thanks for sharing, very interesting. I like the relationship you had with your grandmother, that is sweet.
LOL@Floriduh
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Dark_EternalFF
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.Kid. posted:
Good read. Would've never guessed about the religion stuff.
Catholicism and I started going our separate ways when I was about 10 The nice thing about staying active, however, was the fact that I had to have x amount of hours of community service for the IB diploma, and this kind of stuff qualified.
IH, I'll think of a good one and post it in awhile - having some probs today here at work
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Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Storm_Seeker
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They actually allow you to go moonkin? WATAF!! My guild never did, but then again, this was before all the changes.
Keep thinking about going back to try the 60-70 thing, but then I just remember that it is WoW, and WoW is evil.
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FineYoungCannibals
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thanks for the cliff notes
good read, nice to know ya
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gpputnam
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Despite your asshattery I still luv ya DE.
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NSMachin
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Pssh! I expected more Cowbell.
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Dark_EternalFF
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Storm_Seeker posted:
They actually allow you to go moonkin? WATAF!! My guild never did, but then again, this was before all the changes.
Keep thinking about going back to try the 60-70 thing, but then I just remember that it is WoW, and WoW is evil.
They don't 'allow' me, I'd frickin /gquit if they tried to impose spec or loot restrictions on me.
I was Balance when Hurricane was the 31-point talent, and it sucked, but I still raided anyway. Only time I've been Resto was for like a month before the 2.0 talents were released, and that's because I didn't do anything but raid BWL and wanted to try the spec out.
Incidentally, I was a much worse healer as Resto spec than Balance spec
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KahunaLaguna
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A thoroughly enjoyable read... I give it  three shamrocks and a  piggy.
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Bonza_Gal
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Hrm, I did not see any mention of D&D, do you realy roll twenties or are you just building on the myth?
What else did Grandma cook for you?(include recipes)
Do you intend to travel more, if so where to?
You see your girlfriend once a week.... WTF?!
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Dark_EternalFF
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Bonza_Gal posted:
Hrm, I did not see any mention of D&D, do you realy roll twenties or are you just building on the myth?
What else did Grandma cook for you?(include recipes)
Do you intend to travel more, if so where to?
You see your girlfriend once a week.... WTF?!
1. I started playing D&D late into college. I still play on Sundays. 
2. Her favorite was Arroz con Pollo, Panamanian-style. Unfortunately, I couldn't even begin to tell you the recipe.
3. Yeah, I want to travel a lot more, and to as many different places as I can. I love travelling.
4. Well, we don't live together and we're far enough away that seeing each other daily is kind of impractical...we were long distance for the first two years of our relationship and saw each other like once every four months, so this is nothing
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Kuldar_Moritan
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LOL @ the Strahd pic!
Good read bud
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-Abednego-
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Tag so I can keep a hyper link to this page. Your read was WAY cooler than any story I ever had at college. 
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FalkanG
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Holy crap. That's quite a post, DE.
This is why you're one of my favorite posters.
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zellokiia
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you were a counselor?!?
hahahahahhahahahahahahah
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Dark_EternalFF
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lol, thanks guys
Except for Zell, you can get back to making me sammiches.
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zellokiia
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I didn't realize twigs eat
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Dark_EternalFF
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zellokiia posted:
I didn't realize twigs eat
Gotta keep my penis sleek and fat somehow
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Dark_EternalFF
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Here's a fairly recent tale for you guys:
Shortly before I graduated from college, me and a very good friend whom I've known since Middle School decided to go camping on the coast (well, it was more like 'what do you want to do?' 'I dunno, what do you want to do?' 'Let's just start driving and we'll figure it out'). We ended up driving north of Forks, which is on the Olympic Peninnsula.
It was getting really late, and we were having trouble finding a place to camp, so we picked one that didn't have its gates closed, drove all the way to the beach access, and parked. We didn't have cash to pay for the site and they wouldn't accept checks, so we decided to bail as early as possible in hopes of not getting caught. Rather than bother setting up a tent (it was about 12am) we chose instead to wrap ourselves in tarps and sleep on the ground. Of course, during the night it started to rain, but somehow we managed to stay toasty dry and got some sleep.
In the morning, we awoke early and screamed out of there. Eventually, we found a National Park in which we were able to nab a spot. Having liquor, we decided to go to the beach, watch the waves, and get stinking drunk. I have few vague memories - we were having a 'conversation' which was basically the two of us yelling at each other drunkenly (not in anger), I taught some little kid wandering by to skip rocks, and then some Park Ranger showed up and we freaked out and busted out the IDs, thinking he was trying to bust us for underage drinking (we were both over 21 at the time) before he even said anything. He was merely concerned about us cleaning up our trash and toddled on his way.
We finished the fifth of gin or whatever the hell it was and headed back to camp, where we made our camping stew thing special: we chopped up mushrooms, steak, green pepper, onions, and potatoes, put the entire mess on some foil, added Johnny's Seasoning and a bit of water, wrapped them up, and chucked the bundles into the fire. Maybe it was just because we were drunk, but man, that tasted good!
In the morning, we just packed up and left. Andrew and I have tons of stories like this - we spent a lot of time on the coast in HS and beyond, skimboarding and goofing around, as well as in the mountains, where I spent a lot of time as a youth on the weekends as well.
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Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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Slay3r-Zer0
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OMG DE
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Angelina_Rayne
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good read DE
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-Foxy-
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very cool de, thank you
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Good read DE
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Thanks man, that was cool I read the whole thing, hell yeah that bump indicates intelligence!
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niiiiice
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"camping stew thing special: we chopped up mushrooms, steak, green pepper, onions, and potatoes, put the entire mess on some foil, added Johnny's Seasoning and a bit of water, wrapped them up, and chucked the bundles into the fire. Maybe it was just because we were drunk, but man, that tasted good!"
Common! And yes! It is damn good.
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Gustaive_MT
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Cool read man.
What about Lone Wolf? Was that a childhood find or recent like D&D?
Sendin u a pm now about seein if u wan 2 b my page1
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-Abednego-
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I'd love to hear more about what happened in your church life.
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Silverwuf
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You like to travel? Get your ass to Wisconsin, then.
Good read - I'm amazed that I knew that much about you
Silver
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Dark_EternalFF
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Gustaive_MT posted:
Cool read man.
What about Lone Wolf? Was that a childhood find or recent like D&D?
Sendin u a pm now about seein if u wan 2 b my page1
Lone Wolf was actually a childhood find. Can't remember when I got my first book, but it was pretty early. It was actually what inspired me and my friend to write our own 'choose your own adventure'-type stuff.
-Abednego- posted:
I'd love to hear more about what happened in your church life.
That's a little less interesting, I suppose. The church I grew up with was not what you'd see from most modern-day Catholic institutions; it was very dour and dark, and about the only thing you'd hear during Mass was the coughs of the old and the hiss of their oxygen tanks. When I was very small, I'd go with my grandmother to a local senior center or to the basement of the church and sing little songs for the elderly. I think most of the people I was friends with that weren't my age are dead now.
I was an altar boy (insert molestation joke here) until I was about 15. Funny story - when I first started doing it, I was quite a restless kid (I once fainted in church because I was bored as hell) and I tied the communion bells to the sash of my robes and rang them that way. People were not amused, but I sure thought it was funny as hell.
I was never really religious in terms of the nitty-gritty scripture and rhetoric and whatnot; as you have already read, I was into the debauchery and womenz and whatnot, but I did do quite a bit of community service. We worked in soup kitchens on Hilltop in Tacoma (which at the time was still pretty notorious), and assisted the elderly or homebound in repainting and beautifying their dilapidated hovels. As I got older, we did stuff for the few younger kids too...easter egg hunts and haunted houses and crap like that.
We haven't been back to my original church since grandma died, however - mom just can't take it. Nowadays, about the only time I set foot in a church is when the gf demands that I accompany her
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Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
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good read. thanks.
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-Abednego-
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I have to ask, and I promise no more followups or anything preachy from me.
Do you still believe in God or was church just a bigone instituation that should have ended with the fall of Rome?
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Dark_EternalFF
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-Abednego- posted:
I have to ask, and I promise no more followups or anything preachy from me.
Do you still believe in God or was church just a bigone instituation that should have ended with the fall of Rome?
I still believe in God, and I don't believe that church is a bad thing and that everyone who feels that they need it is stupid or anything like that.
I believe that religion and spirituality, at its core, is between an individual and God. If they feel that they need or they are more comfortable in a community of individuals who believe the same way they do, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, I also feel that there is nothing wrong with those who do not feel that they need that sort of religious community or institution in their spiritual life.
The only rule I've ever believed should be followed universally is to help another human being with their trip through this life as you can, whether it be on a personal level, monetarily, or just making them laugh and feel good. Of course, if you've read all that previous crap I wrote, you can tell I'm not always the best follower of my own limited moral compass 
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Cfrbatt
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Good read as always DE
So when are you going to finish the story of Max Fox 
and in memory of the good 'O'l days of FF
DE is it Monday yet??? and where is my story
also when are you going to do a story on Zygran of WOW not that WOW will ever be as good as AC
Now DE stop slacking and start writing 
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Dark_EternalFF
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WoW just doesn't have the nice backstory or individualistic feeling that AC did. Max was customizable to the point that I could write a story about him, and the lore was flexible enough to allow for it. WoW is nothing like that. In fact, I pretty much only continue to play WoW because my guild members are so incredibly freaking awesome it isn't even funny.
I miss a lot of stuff about AC...but not the levelling grind
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Terahmai
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This is a great life story! For such a young person to have so much respect for his 1) grandmother and 2) mother, is totally awesome! I pretty much raised my two sons (21 and 24) by myself and we are pretty close.
You are one year younger than my oldest son and I could swear you two had the same elementary school teacher....or my son had her evil twin - my son went to Beachwood Elementary on Ft. Lewis, WA though and graduated from high school in 2000.
Thanks for sharing - you seem like a fine young man...considering your escapades!
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