ineenia
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothing like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
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If their stupidity didn't shelter them from the full shame of their actions,their would be alot more republican suicides.
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ZartanAround
Title: Torpid Curmudgeon
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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what are nice chickens like you doing in a coop like this?
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Moe_Nox
Title: In Moe We Trust
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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The Nanny State cometh Currency should be bacon cheeseburgers and blow jobs... - Reese Life at the Outpost: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
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Sezyrrith
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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ZartanAround posted:
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E- 80% K- 60% S- 40% A- 20% "That thing you burnt up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero." http://tinyurl.com/Sezy-1
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Groucho48
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A pauper's funeral
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“Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.†– Richard Feynman
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Cawlin
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
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IMHO
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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Sezyrrith posted:
ZartanAround posted:
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You're Right ~ Koneg
He's [Manegarm] like the Fred Phelps of atheism. ~Bubbledude
many of you are in the Republican boat, aka the ship of fools. ~Modeeb
We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. ~Kurt Vonnegut
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Halloweve
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A pauper's funeral
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bwah hahaha..i was almost ready to cry.
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Friarspam
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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I read this to my wife. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep from laughing?!
/best I've heard in a long time!
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My folks went on vacation and all I got was this lousy sig.
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Yukishiro1
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Subject:
A pauper's funeral
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edit: This should be the entry in the book for "American humor." 
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