Author Topic: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
who has a kid and is divorced.. And I guess used to live with frat brothers and that was when he felt most comfortable in life...

Is willing to pay me $2 a minute, for him to nap... Chill out, I told him I'm also actually a massage therapist and asked if he could try his massage techniques on me.

So.. Pay me to give me a massage..

I reiterated to him about 5 or 6 different ways NO SEXUAL SH!T OF ANY KIND, and it seems as if he's still willing.

This should be very creeptrestring.

 

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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
NO SEXUAL profanity OF ANY KIND




lololololol


you gonna get raped


document everything, report back

 

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the_great_intex 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So... you're gay whoring yourself out?

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Wait...WTF @ OP?

I don't get it. confused

 

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Ibbeh 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..

 

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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
don'y use words like gay whoring

THIS IS A GOOD IDEA

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
who has a kid and is divorced.. And I guess used to live with frat brothers and that was when he felt most comfortable in life... Is willing to pay me $2 a minute, for him to nap... Chill out, I told him I'm also actually a massage therapist and asked if he could try his massage techniques on me. So.. Pay me to give me a massage.. I reiterated to him about 5 or 6 different ways NO SEXUAL SH!T OF ANY KIND, and it seems as if he's still willing. This should be very creeptrestring.

 

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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
THIS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE TOP THREADS OF THE YEAR

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
lol, well if you live in LA give me a job, damnit.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
FineYoungCannibals posted:
THIS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE TOP THREADS OF THE YEAR


It will be, because everything will be documented as per request.

 

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Aerlinthian 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Buttons?

 

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Dark_EternalFF 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
My god, Mofo has turned to gay prostitution.

The end times are at hand.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to do this. And to stab him in the stomach if he tries anything.

 

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ChemEngineer 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I bet this has a happy ending.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Dark_EternalFF posted:
My god, Mofo has turned to gay prostitution.

The end times are at hand.


Well it was bound to happen eventually in this economy.

 

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Varece 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So naive laugh

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Varece posted:
So naive laugh


Well you tell me what exactly is going to happen varece

 

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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
times are tough, 1 blow jobs buys a lot of bigmacs



nothing to be ashamed of

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to do this. And to stab him in the stomach if he tries anything.


OK so...lemme get this 'straight'.

Yer a massage therapist, and some guy is looking into recieving your therapy service, but want's something sexual as well.

You said you dont do that over and over but he's still gonna try to get that Undercarriage special?

 

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the_great_intex 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
It's better, he's the one going to be given the massage

 

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Ibbeh 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I think creepteresting is the right word here

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
AkagiyamaMissile posted:
MoFoEskimo posted:
I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to do this. And to stab him in the stomach if he tries anything.


OK so...lemme get this 'straight'.

Yer a massage therapist, and some guy is looking into recieving your therapy service, but want's something sexual as well.

You said you dont do that over and over but he's still gonna try to get that Undercarriage special?




Huh? I'm not even massaging the dude for this $120 an hour profanity. He wants to come over and take a nap. Weird profanity.

I'm going to have him schedule an amount of time, have him pay me that money up front when he gets here, and if he expected or expects anything other than what we've agreed on, I'll give him the boot, or be forced to defend myself/call the cops.

If the cops then question me I'll simply show them the emails, what was agreed on, what was specifically excluded, yadda yadda yadda.

Worst comes to worst I get $360 for not blowin a guy for 3 hours. I can do that all day long.

 

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Kanga_Roo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I know there will be no sexual stuff at all but bring a condom anyway

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
the_great_intex posted:
It's better, he's the one going to be given the massage


If I deem that he is indeed only creepy in the sense that he has lots of money and for some strange reason wants to re-live some fantasy of being around "dudes" again like the good ol' frat days or some crap, then yeah maybe.

If I deem him creepy in a sexual predator way - then... actually yeah maybe, if not just to get him the hell out faster. Make my money either way.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Kanga_Roo posted:
I know there will be no sexual stuff at all but bring a condom anyway


lol, bring? This is happening at my house.

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
He's paying you to come over and take a nap at your place?!?!?!


 

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Kanga_Roo 
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I'm not good with reading and comprehension and stuff.

 

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Gildash 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Kanga_Roo posted:
I know there will be no sexual stuff at all but bring a condom anyway


hahahahaha

 

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-Drack- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
What do you think might happen when you fall asleep?

 

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EbonDragon 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
How much is your pimp getting out of this?

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
"Im recently divorced and looking for a different but col scene with the right chill guy. I'm 34 white 6ft 200 recently divorced and have a kid. I'm looking for a 19-28 you guy..u can be str8, Bi or Masc non scene gay dude. Just be chill and ale to ost. I want to just put on shorts and thirst and fall asleep together with each other. I just want that feeling of security you get from having a best male bud in your life. I use to share a bed in my dorm w different buds. There were several of us. I always slept like a baby. I want that feeling again. I'd give you $2 a minute for your time and useofmyournplace to chill and nap. Very nice offer. Hit me back "


lol.

Have at me. Here's been the e-mails.


"Yeah - I have a son and have been on "hold" for like a year and a half with her.

I'm unemployed and seeking work but not easy to find.I was a massage therapist for many years.


I am straight. I will not do anything sexual. I'm a chill dude I'm used to being alone in my man-cave

Willing to give this a shot if you're still looking -- I can't guarantee we will get along. And the most I'd be somewhat ok with is sleeping in the same bed or giving you a massage on my massage table (Not in bed!)

Anyway let me know Im an attractive easy goin 25 y/o guy who will do whatever it takes to keep my child in my life. " -me


"Cool response bud.. Name is ****.. Where are you at and when can you chill? Could I practice my massage techniques on you? Your arrangement is all cool w me just like to do massage sometime and don't know anyone to work on. You wanna send a pig and let's get set up. Hit me back" -him

"Here are a couple pictures of me

I can host, have a roommate but could give 2 profanitys about him to be honest, heh

I just really want to make sure you aren't going to change your story on me last minute or something... Because I've been in a uncomfortable situation where I was just trying to hang out, didn't mind he was gay, and he kept wanting to suck my dick saying he loves straight boys blah blah blah.. Eventually leaving pushing him off of me.

It's just not my thing. I'm as comfortable with my own sexuality as I am with other peoples sexuality: VERY. I feel if I can respect them on that level the respect should be reciprocated, you know??

As long as that is cleared up - then yes you may practice massage techniques on me, as long as we're not talking code, I can even give you some helpful insight as I've been doing massage therapy for 5-6 years now.

Not sure on a exact time as of this moment.

Just be straight up & honest with me, and I think this could work. How often are you hoping to do this? I do have a "GF" right now, that I am basically using for sex & money... What's funny is she feels she is using me. In a way she is, I really am a great guy to be around for people who are in need of healing. I'm just a guy who is down to earth and true to himself, nothing more and certainly nothing less. " -me

"Oh and she knows that's what I'm in it for - just like I know what she's in it for, so don't think I'm scumbagging this chick... But it ain't no $2 a minute that's for sure, when I say I use her for sex & money I just mean every time she comes over, she pays for everything...Right now shes gettin jamba juice because I need to rehydrate from last night! Haha.... So tell me a bit about how you came to this conclusion of yous and what exactly it is you're looking to get out of this? No judgement here, I've experienced and lived through some very bizarre moments in life so believe me brother, secrets, shame or guilt - it's all safe with me. " -me

"Let's do it" -him



 

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_Haole_ 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This will end well....

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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-Drack- posted:
What do you think might happen when you fall asleep?


You think I'm going to fall asleep? I'll happily fake sleeping for $120 an hour.

 

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Steelwind_Oo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
ChemEngineer posted:
I bet this has a happy ending.


 

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MoFoEskimo 
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And I read that post many times, luckily he means t-shirt and not thirst.

But, creepy - much?

The post is still live so yeah, you can look it up if ya don't believe me =p


The worst that could happen is the dude wants to cuddle or somethin and if that's the case he's gunna have to work up to that.

lmfao.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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And if youve learned one thing of me in all this time, ACF - it is that I am shameless. I do have a conscience, but I am shameless.

 

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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
i told the wife, i have to get back to the rape thread

 

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Ibbeh 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
so when is it that you're gonna get roofied/raped?

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
And to be perfectly CLEAR, this wasn't posted in any sort of "personals" section.

This is just a really creepy straight up job offer.

And I'm all over it. Consider me the honey badger of would-be sexual assault. I'd end up raping HIM! Er.. Wait a minute.. That's not what I mean.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ibbeh posted:
so when is it that you're gonna get roofied/raped?


Oh, you brought me a half-drunk gatorade? How thoughtful of you. *chug chug chug* Yeah, no.

 

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jungalist 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Live webcam this for us. Epic.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So you're big spoon?

 

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the_great_intex 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Sounds like he just wants to bro out. It can either be drinking natty ice and playing mario kart on gamecube or 69ing, and everything in between

 

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-Dyslexia- 
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you are gonna be the little spoon, you know that, right?

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
$2/minute to play mario kart. That's a dream job right there

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ibbeh posted:
$2/minute to play mario kart. That's a dream job right there


This has a twist. The controller is the dudes package.

 

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I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it likea bong hit. --- cumbat_mage_sc
Kasta Magier says, "SLEEP IN HELL NINJA BASTARDS"
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Ibbeh 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Oh....

pass.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ibbeh posted:
$2/minute to play mario kart. That's a dream job right there


for real that's what I'm thinkin.

And no, if I were the little spoon and he got a boner he'd be in a world of hurt, so I wouldn't allow it. Also, if I was the big spoon and I got a boner, he'd be in a world of hurt for being so gay.

Also,if he tries anything radical on me, I'm going to go super sayian and over power him with good ol' fashioned pent-up rage. Then the extortion would ensue.

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Oh wow...this is just....I....


 

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Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Will probably setup at least a tape recorder in the room.

 

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TheUnholyGhost 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I...well....it's just....

I got nothing. Just going to sit back and watch the trainwreck.

Watch out for your cornhole, buddy.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Believe me, my cornhole has been on red-alert since my brain decided this would be a good idea. My survival instincts are prepared, I am treating this like a stroll through a prison shower. Keep it calm, cool, collected - but EVER VIGILANT.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
If I was the big spoon and I got a boner, he'd be in a world of hurt for being so gay



Your world of hurt is his fantasy. Would you 'pound him to dust'? Lol

 

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I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it likea bong hit. --- cumbat_mage_sc
Kasta Magier says, "SLEEP IN HELL NINJA BASTARDS"
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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So you are actually gonna let this stranger who wants to 'nap' at your place cause he's the most comfortable during 'bro time' while he pays you for it, and totally no homo is happening.




 

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Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
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Hawkson 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I wanted to post in this thread before it hit two pages.

I have failed.

 

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Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
AkagiyamaMissile posted:
So you are actually gonna let this stranger who wants to 'nap' at your place cause he's the most comfortable during 'bro time' while he pays you for it, and totally no homo is happening.







Yep.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
AkagiyamaMissile posted:
So you are actually gonna let this stranger who wants to 'nap' at your place cause he's the most comfortable during 'bro time' while he pays you for it, and totally no homo is happening.







Yep.


 

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I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it likea bong hit. --- cumbat_mage_sc
Kasta Magier says, "SLEEP IN HELL NINJA BASTARDS"
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FineYoungCannibals 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
dinner time mother f***er

 

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mischief FYC mischief
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myxomatosis8 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
How did I miss this one??

Everyone has already said anything I would have. But for fun, "fall asleep together with each other" just made me laugh so hard I had to cut and paste it, because you really have convinced yourself nothing sexual will happen.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
FineYoungCannibals posted:
dinner time mother f***er


laugh

 

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DunesVladHarkonnen 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
you...


are...


loco.

 

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Onslaught. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Best case: You end up giving the guy a blow job.
Worst case: He rapes you brutally and then kills you.


Have fun...

 

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Poit-Narf 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This thread is gay.

 

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Fallen_daemon 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
mofo you been smoking some powerful stuff............. wow........

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Poit-Narf posted:
This thread is gay.



Annnnd confirmation this is a bad idea.

 

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I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it likea bong hit. --- cumbat_mage_sc
Kasta Magier says, "SLEEP IN HELL NINJA BASTARDS"
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Poit-Narf 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
It is, however, an entertaining idea. Do it.

 

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DunesVladHarkonnen 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Onslaught. posted:
Best case: You end up giving the guy a blow job.
Worst case: He rapes you brutally and then kills you.


Have fun...


No best case is he blows the guy AND he gets paid.

 

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Sith_Mauler 
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Ibbeh 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Sith_Mauler posted:




laugh
that's awesome

 

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purplehugmonkey 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This sounds like something that I wouldn't enjoy, but others might.

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ibbeh posted:
Sith_Mauler posted:




laugh
that's awesome


I wish I could say the same. I'm waiting for it to load. sad

 

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Arc_DT 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
Worst comes to worst I get $360 for not blowin a guy for 3 hours.


I didn't think that would be nearly enough money for you to do that... grin

 

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-Dyslexia- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..


but probably more buttsex and less surprise...

 

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-Foxy- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ibbeh posted:
Sith_Mauler posted:




laugh
that's awesome


too funny

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
so if you wind up getting pregnant are you going to keep the baby or abort it?

 

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Nailer2357 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
How did you find this guy?

It must've been Craigslist...

 

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Lokkie_the_Fierce 
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laugh

 

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-Foxy- 
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i am totally amused

 

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Jerel_The_Real_One 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
hahaha good luck!

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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I can see it now...

 

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Hiakisha 
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i cant wait

 

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deadcactus 
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I thought most people stopped in meth town before catching the train to gay prostitution...

 

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'member dat?
True dat.
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Fozzie_Bear 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
"Let's do it" -him


 

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Cuttlery 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Mofo is going to be sitting in a hole with some guy wanting to make a Mofo suit soon... It puts the lotion on its skin.

 

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Bork_the_orc 
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So, you're just gay for pay?

 

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.-Vega-. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Best case scenario he gives you a reacharound

 

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-Accident- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
this is going to sound weird but what if he basically wants someone to babysit him while he gets high?

 

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Sith_Mauler 
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jonus156 
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I............Was here?

 

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This thread begs the question: do the "women" of ACF use a funnel to get that much sand in their vagina or do they just slide around the beach like an angry Roomba? -deadcactus-
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Varece 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
clown laugh

 

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Tipztoe 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
he's gonna "accidentally" rub your package when he's rubbing you down.

You will probably get a boner which he will take for a green light.

Also he'll convince you it's not gay if you're the one receiving the bj.

 

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JD_HOGG 
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He's not going to rape you. He's going to convince you. I'm guessing he has more than enough money to do that.

 

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winga 
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Wow.... lol

 

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_Alexandra_ 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This has got to be one of the best threads I have ever seen on ACF.

laugh

 

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Fozzie_Bear 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..


and when hes done, you gonna get money on the bureau.

monkey

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Tipztoe posted:
he's gonna "accidentally" rub your package when he's rubbing you down.

You will probably get a boner which he will take for a green light.

Also he'll convince you it's not gay if you're the one receiving the bj.




 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I can honestly say I don't get a boner from a guy rubbing on my junk.

Don't ask me how I know this.


Regardless, as I've stated, I'm not going to do anything with the guy, nor allow the guy to do anything to me, sexually.

Yes, I am fully expecting, and prepared for him to attempt this, it is at this point I tell him to leave, and am left with $360.

Or he really is a weirdo (Yeah, it'll be WEIRDER if he doesn't try to molester me into gayness) and I get to lay in a bed with this guy, feet to face, for $120 an hour.

Do you not see how this is a win/win or are you seriously so homophobic that you wouldn't risk a finger touching the outside of your pants for the millisecond it would take to stop it? I mean the amount of gay I'm TRULY setting myself up for is no more than standing next to someone in a crowded bus. I could potentially get groped for a moment. Ohhhh nooooo!

The only way I'd be setting myself up for anything gayer than that is if I was planning on doing some gay profanity with him. But as stated in OP, NO GAY profanity.

He'd have to offer me several thousand dollars for a handjob, and I'd give him a timelimit. Like.. a 6k handjob. Sure, why not.

hundreds of thousands for oral or anal though. ....And a time limit.

Seriously, I'd almost rather take it up the butt than give someone a bj, at least I could just imagine I'm getting a medial procedure done or something.

But for realz, 1 moment of gay that only he and I and ACF would know about for 800,000?

Yeah.

Of course I'd make sure that 800k wasnt monopoly money first.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
and my take on the handy is I use my hand on my penis, so.... Whatevs. Wouldn't really be anything new.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
and my take on the handy is I use my hand on my penis, so.... Whatevs. Wouldn't really be anything new.


Except for the whole facial thing. That'd be new.

 

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Aethelgrin 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This has incredible promise. Please let something entertaining happen.

 

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winga 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Are you going to let him buy you dinner first or just straight to the sex?

 

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DunesVladHarkonnen 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
You're assuming he is going to actually pay you and this doesn't turn into some Pulp Fiction moment...

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
gonna be reading this on the news soon im sure

 

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Tipztoe 
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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I'm thinking this will be more like shawshank redemption than pulp fiction.

 

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Bork_the_orc 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Don't put this on your resume.

 

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kigaro 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I thought you had a real job?

 

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Tipztoe 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
kigaro posted:
I thought you had a real job?


you don't think male fluffer is a real job?

 

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aon_mixed 
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JD_HOGG 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
You have never even addressed whether or not this person is gay. Everyone is making assumptions. He might just be a serial killer, not gay at all. I think you'd be safer if he's just gay.

 

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_Alexandra_ 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
JD_HOGG posted:
You have never even addressed whether or not this person is gay. Everyone is making assumptions. He might just be a serial killer, not gay at all. I think you'd be safer if he's just gay.


Surprise butt sex is much more entertaining than being surprised killed.

 

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DunesVladHarkonnen 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
JD_HOGG posted:
You have never even addressed whether or not this person is gay. Everyone is making assumptions. He might just be a serial killer, not gay at all. I think you'd be safer if he's just gay.


this.


You should take a minute and realize the PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET (and especially ACF) are telling you this sounds sketchy and is probably going to end badly. They're advising caution.

That should trigger the alarm bells to any sane person.

 

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mightbe 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
make sure you squeeze your buttocks tight for him, may be able to poop out another 100 tongue

 

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TheUnholyGhost 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
If you're willing to spoon with another dude for a couple hundred bucks, I'm thiiiinking your BJ threshold isn't in the "hundreds of thousands". laugh

Just sayin...

 

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Fozzie_Bear 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
DunesVladHarkonnen posted:
JD_HOGG posted:
You have never even addressed whether or not this person is gay. Everyone is making assumptions. He might just be a serial killer, not gay at all. I think you'd be safer if he's just gay.


this.


You should take a minute and realize the PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET (and especially ACF) are telling you this sounds sketchy and is probably going to end badly. They're advising caution.

That should trigger the alarm bells to any sane person.


yeah cuz I'm totally like "HAVE FUN WITH GETTIN YER POOPER STRETCHED LOL"

 

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EbonDragon 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
DunesVladHarkonnen posted:
You're assuming he is going to actually pay you and this doesn't turn into some Pulp Fiction moment...


This was my thought as well.. Did you even discuss how the payment was going to happen?

Half up front, half.. Once he finishes?

 

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JD_HOGG 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
He will probably jam a ping pong paddle up your butt and make you poop pancakes.

 

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Chevya 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Wow, this is a seriously bad idea. You're risking an awful lot for a couple hundred bucks imo.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
TheUnholyGhost posted:
If you're willing to spoon with another dude for a couple hundred bucks, I'm thiiiinking your BJ threshold isn't in the "hundreds of thousands". laugh

Just sayin...


laugh

 

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Tipztoe 
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Immortal_Haze 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Curious why you needed to include that you're attractive in your response...

 

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TickyAtack 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Immortal_Haze posted:
Curious why you needed to include that you're attractive in your response...



I was wondering this too

 

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notmforce2k 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
He's going to get tired of the foreplay and will eventually rape you.


Cheers.

 

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TickyAtack 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Basic breakdown of your conversation with this guy:



MoFoEskimo posted:


Anyway let me know Im an attractive easy goin 25 y/o guy who will do whatever it takes to keep my child in my life.

I just really want to make sure you aren't going to change your story on me last minute or something...

Just be straight up & honest with me

So tell me a bit about how you came to this conclusion of yous and what exactly it is you're looking to get out of this? No judgement here, I've experienced and lived through some very bizarre moments in life so believe me brother, secrets, shame or guilt - it's all safe with me.



"Let's do it" -him








 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
LOL Ticky.

 

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Immortal_Haze 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
The emails back and forth sound like a guy/girl who are dating...

Him: "I just want someone to hang out with, someone really cool..."
Her(Mofo): "I'm really cool to hang out with, but I'm not going to have sex with you. I'm hot though."
Him: "No worries baby, I'm not that kind of guy. I need a chill friend. Look, I'll even give you a massage for free!"
Her(Mofo): "OMG that's awesome teehee. How nice of you! I have a boyfriend though, so don't try anything mister! (giggles)"
Him: "Let's do it baby."

Face it, MoFo. Another man's junk is going to be part of your life very soon.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Immortal_Haze posted:
The emails back and forth sound like a guy/girl who are dating...

Him: "I just want someone to hang out with, someone really cool..."
Her(Mofo): "I'm really cool to hang out with, but I'm not going to have sex with you. I'm hot though."
Him: "No worries baby, I'm not that kind of guy. I need a chill friend. Look, I'll even give you a massage for free!"
Her(Mofo): "OMG that's awesome teehee. How nice of you! I have a boyfriend though, so don't try anything mister! (giggles)"
Him: "Let's do it baby."

Face it, MoFo. Another man's junk is going to be part of your life very soon.



Roflmao

 

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_Haole_ 
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laugh

 

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Annanova 
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This definitely seems to be of less than a savory nature.

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
tomorrows followup thread title by Mofo

anybody know a good lawyer? I got entrapped for prostitution

 

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winga 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Itab posted:
Immortal_Haze posted:
The emails back and forth sound like a guy/girl who are dating...

Him: "I just want someone to hang out with, someone really cool..."
Her(Mofo): "I'm really cool to hang out with, but I'm not going to have sex with you. I'm hot though."
Him: "No worries baby, I'm not that kind of guy. I need a chill friend. Look, I'll even give you a massage for free!"
Her(Mofo): "OMG that's awesome teehee. How nice of you! I have a boyfriend though, so don't try anything mister! (giggles)"
Him: "Let's do it baby."

Face it, MoFo. Another man's junk is going to be part of your life very soon.



Roflmao

 

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notmforce2k 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Just such a terrible idea.. OP even recognizes how bad this guy wants to try things and he is still allowing it to happen. Ugh.


 

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murron2 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
JD_HOGG posted:
You have never even addressed whether or not this person is gay. Everyone is making assumptions. He might just be a serial killer, not gay at all. I think you'd be safer if he's just gay.


That was what I was thinking!


Truly...


~Murron~

 

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murron2 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Fozzie_Bear posted:
tomorrows followup thread title by Mofo

anybody know a good lawyer? I got entrapped for prostitution


My second thought!


Truly...


~Murron~

 

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Onslaught. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
My personal bet is that it's a cop.

 

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Brandun 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Onslaught. posted:
My personal bet is that it's a cop.


Wouldn't they just troll for prostitutes then?

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So when is the actual first encounter? We need to prepare.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I'm waiting for the thread:

" Does anyone know if a Blumpkin is sanitary? I heard they were."

 

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Brandun 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
and of course he is expecting to get off

and you're going to tell him to GTFO when it happens

might get ugly sad

Good Luck worried

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Mofo's Bhole = beatup

 

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gatzby 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This WHOLE concept is like dividing by zero...

 

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Steelwind_Oo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
gatzby posted:
This WHOLE concept is like dividing by zero...
That happens after the massage.

 

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Manegarm 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Bunch o f'kin savages.

 

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Nailer2357 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
I can honestly say I don't get a boner from a guy rubbing on my junk.

Don't ask me how I know this.


Regardless, as I've stated, I'm not going to do anything with the guy, nor allow the guy to do anything to me, sexually.

Yes, I am fully expecting, and prepared for him to attempt this, it is at this point I tell him to leave, and am left with $360.

Or he really is a weirdo (Yeah, it'll be WEIRDER if he doesn't try to molester me into gayness) and I get to lay in a bed with this guy, feet to face, for $120 an hour.

Do you not see how this is a win/win or are you seriously so homophobic that you wouldn't risk a finger touching the outside of your pants for the millisecond it would take to stop it? I mean the amount of gay I'm TRULY setting myself up for is no more than standing next to someone in a crowded bus. I could potentially get groped for a moment. Ohhhh nooooo!

The only way I'd be setting myself up for anything gayer than that is if I was planning on doing some gay profanity with him. But as stated in OP, NO GAY profanity.

He'd have to offer me several thousand dollars for a handjob, and I'd give him a timelimit. Like.. a 6k handjob. Sure, why not.

hundreds of thousands for oral or anal though. ....And a time limit.

Seriously, I'd almost rather take it up the butt than give someone a bj, at least I could just imagine I'm getting a medial procedure done or something.

But for realz, 1 moment of gay that only he and I and ACF would know about for 800,000?

Yeah.

Of course I'd make sure that 800k wasnt monopoly money first.


Are these the pre-negotiation prices?

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
gatzby posted:
This WHOLE concept is like dividing by zero...
more like dividing 1 into 0

mofo's bf 1 ====> 0 mofo

if you catch my drift grin

 

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Phlegm573 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So this is what ACFers talk about.

Makes sense.

 

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illmyrin 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Holy crap.. ACF is really full of cowboy . I thought everyone was exaggerating.

 

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Cuttlery 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Phlegm573 posted:
So this is what ACFers talk about.

Makes sense.


If you think this is bad you should try out the Vesti, or that Outhouse board.

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
illmyrin posted:
Holy crap.. ACF is really full of . I thought everyone was exaggerating.
I didnt know ACF had alot of cowboys.

 

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the_great_intex 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Ew, Outposters not_talking

 

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TickyAtack 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
the_great_intex posted:
Ew, Outposters not_talking

 

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Abaddon_Ambrosius 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Face it, guys. Threads about forcible, criminal sexual activity are bound to land you a hoarde of Outposters.

Probably a couple dozen a day from just random Google hits alone.


 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
I can honestly say I don't get a boner from a guy rubbing on my junk.

Don't ask me how I know this.


Regardless, as I've stated, I'm not going to do anything with the guy, nor allow the guy to do anything to me, sexually.

Yes, I am fully expecting, and prepared for him to attempt this, it is at this point I tell him to leave, and am left with $360.

Or he really is a weirdo (Yeah, it'll be WEIRDER if he doesn't try to molester me into gayness) and I get to lay in a bed with this guy, feet to face, for $120 an hour.

Do you not see how this is a win/win or are you seriously so homophobic that you wouldn't risk a finger touching the outside of your pants for the millisecond it would take to stop it? I mean the amount of gay I'm TRULY setting myself up for is no more than standing next to someone in a crowded bus. I could potentially get groped for a moment. Ohhhh nooooo!

The only way I'd be setting myself up for anything gayer than that is if I was planning on doing some gay profanity with him. But as stated in OP, NO GAY profanity.

He'd have to offer me several thousand dollars for a handjob, and I'd give him a timelimit. Like.. a 6k handjob. Sure, why not.

hundreds of thousands for oral or anal though. ....And a time limit.

Seriously, I'd almost rather take it up the butt than give someone a bj, at least I could just imagine I'm getting a medial procedure done or something.

But for realz, 1 moment of gay that only he and I and ACF would know about for 800,000?

Yeah.

Of course I'd make sure that 800k wasnt monopoly money first.


Well that answers the 'are you a whore?'. the rest is just dickering for price.

 

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-Ducky- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Honestly, like others said, having this guy sexually harass you would be the best outcome. I'd be worried that it was a set up to beat up/trick/etc. people from the internet sad Be safe.

Also. WTF.

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Back in my day, the process of getting pounded in the ass was a whole lot less complicated than this mess.

 

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Steelwind_Oo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
-Dyslexia- posted:
Well that answers the 'are you a whore?'. the rest is just dickering for price.
Dickering... tehehehe silly

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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-Dyslexia- posted:


Well that answers the 'are you a whore?'. the rest is just dickering for price.


 

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Onslaught. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
AkagiyamaMissile posted:
-Dyslexia- posted:


Well that answers the 'are you a whore?'. the rest is just dickering for price.


[image=http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/I%20see%20what%20you%20did%20there/grand/futurama-fry-I-see-what-you-did-there-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3 -200.gif]



reapist?

 

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the_great_intex 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
No news yet on any skull f***ings happening in or around LA

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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cry

 

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ZigmundZag 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
He will pay up front for a scheduled amount of time, if he tries anything, he's gone. If he asks for anything, he will be denied. Unless of course he brought lots and lots of money and really wants to waste all that money on a simple handy.

I don't know if the dude is gay/bi or not. He was offering this to straight/bi/gay alike. He has a kid and recently divorced which obviously doesn't mean much in said regard, since they could have broken up over his gheyness. Or his serial killerness.

Either way, honestly, you guys bought way too much into the 90s hype of mothers across america going apeprofanity over stranger danger over the internet, and when this goes perfectly according to plan (not saying it's a plan I take much pleasure in,) I will laugh in all of your feces. (Not a typo.)

He will schedule for at least 2 hours, hoping for 3. I will make him pay up front or no services will be rendered. If he attempts anything outside the boundaries of our said arrangement, then I keep the money and he leaves. By force if necessary.

My roommate will be within earshot, and the family that lives in the house im renting the room in their guest house from is also another buffer. I mean maybe he'd feel I'd be too embarrassed to do/say anything, but as this post shows he will be sorely (in the butt) mistaken.

 

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Onslaught. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
So, your roommate is your pimp...?

 

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Varece 
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laugh

 

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TheNinthSeal 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
What if he has a really nice looking penis?

 

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notmforce2k 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
lol, you better HOPE "he's gone" or "he will be denied" because if he shows up with other people, he's stronger than you, or he is armed, you are ****ED.


This just sounds like such a bad idea. There are so many red flags and you're choosing to go ahead anyways. You deserve whatever happens to you.

 

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myxomatosis8 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
He will pay up front for a scheduled amount of time, if he tries anything, he's gone. If he asks for anything, he will be denied. Unless of course he brought lots and lots of lube and really wants to waste all that money on a simple handy.

 

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ACX 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I'm laughing so hard at this

 

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Manegarm 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Dude you've already given up your rectum for rent now you're just haggling over the price of admission..

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
notmforce2k posted:
lol, you better HOPE "he's gone" or "he will be denied" because if he shows up with other people, he's stronger than you, or he is armed, you are ****ED.


This just sounds like such a bad idea. There are so many red flags and you're choosing to go ahead anyways. You deserve whatever happens to you.



Uhhh yeah, ok, and this whole charley manson killing spree you're imagining... Is totally realistic.

You guys have seriously been brainwashed by 90s mothers with their stranger danger bullcrap.

5.5:100,000 murders per year.

I have a .0055% (right?) chance of being murdered this year.

And you think it's going to be a craigslist gang-rape murder (a murder with multiple people involved no less,) in the middle of a suburban area. Riiiiiight.

I get that you guys want to let me know you think this is a bad idea, but really guys? These are some pretty pathetic scare tactics. I mean, are there any more scenarios I should watch out for? Like, one day I'm going to go to buy a couch from some lady on craigslist, and I show up to her pad, and really there's 4 GUYS STANDING THERE WITH MACHETES AND BIG BLACK DILDOS AND THEY TAZER ME BRO, THEY TAZER ME! THEN PROCEED TO ONE AT A TIME RAPE ME WITH THEIR BIG BLACK DILDOS, STRETCHING MY BUNGHOLE SIMPLY TO PREPARE IT FOR THE MASSIVE RAPE THAT WILL ENSUE. A 8 DAY NON-STOP PILEDRIVER TRAIN, ALL BECAUSE I TRUSTED IN THE HOLLOW OF HUMANITIES HEART, AND WENT TO BUY A GOD DAMNED COUCH. SO STUPID!

lol.

 

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deadcactus 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
when this goes perfectly according to plan (not saying it's a plan I take much pleasure in,) I will laugh in all of your feces. (Not a typo.)


I'm pretty sure the people who don't have to rent out naptime with a stranger for a few hundred bucks will still have the last laugh...

 

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_Alexandra_ 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This thread is cock full of win.

 

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myxomatosis8 
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_Alexandra_ posted:
This thread is cock full of win.


ISWYDT!

 

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-Foxy- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
btw, do you have a will?

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
deadcactus posted:
MoFoEskimo posted:
when this goes perfectly according to plan (not saying it's a plan I take much pleasure in,) I will laugh in all of your feces. (Not a typo.)


I'm pretty sure the people who don't have to rent out naptime with a stranger for a few hundred bucks will still have the last laugh...


Not when I'm laughing rolling around in their feces. They will be too stunned with their narrow-minded minds to even utter a guffaw. Not even a chortle.

Once again it's not like I'm out looking for this kind of work, it just kind of fell into my lap, and has thrusted itself upon me. But when all is said and done, I'm going to make it worth my while. I'm not going to blow my wad in just one place, ya know?

So if people were going to laugh at me about the fact that they have a better job than me, then there wasn't much I could do to begin with now was there? The laughter will not change one iota from their aspect. I however, will be giggling like a schoolgirl all the way to the bank.

 

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Itab 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I didn't think this thread could have more gay in it, then the outpost queens arrived.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Would any of you like to wager on the outcome of this event??

Because the odds on me being murdered would be through the roof if any of you are willing to take the bet ;]

 

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Caoilin 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
so when is the rape scheduled for?

 

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ACX 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I'm convinced this entire thread is an elaborate troll attempt. Well done Mofo! applause

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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ACX posted:
I'm convinced this entire thread is an elaborate troll attempt. Well done Mofo! applause


*bends over*


ERM!!

*bows*

 

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Itab 
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I see your troll and raise you a sniff of Sith's cowboy hat.

 

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Anebriated 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
lol

 

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-Dyslexia- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
I bet you could get even more money if you talked your roommate into doing a 3some nap thing. i bet he would pay out the butt for a sammich nap. him as the middle spoon.

And get the homeowners to put in a camera for black male. err blackmail.

 

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purplehugmonkey 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
thrusted itself upon me


 

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Itab 
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-Dyslexia- posted:
I bet you could get even more money if you talked your roommate into doing a 3some nap thing. i bet he would pay out the butt for a sammich nap. him as the middle spoon.

And get the homeowners to put in a camera for black male. err blackmail.


A sammich nap lol

 

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Jezza_Belle 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
This can't be real


but just in case it is, I was here.

I hope you enjoy your Rohypnol date.

 

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"If I, a lowly Cowboy, dry one tear, or soothe one humble human heart in pain, then my homely verse to God is dear, and not one word has been spoken in vain."

 

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Itab 
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Yeah. Its profanity. Mofos you tried too hard man.

 

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dae_trist 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:


I get that you guys want to let me know you think this is a bad idea, but really guys? These are some pretty pathetic scare tactics. I mean, are there any more scenarios I should watch out for? Like, one day I'm going to go to buy a couch from some lady on craigslist, and I show up to her pad, and really there's 4 GUYS STANDING THERE WITH MACHETES AND BIG BLACK DILDOS AND THEY TAZER ME BRO, THEY TAZER ME! THEN PROCEED TO ONE AT A TIME RAPE ME WITH THEIR BIG BLACK DILDOS, STRETCHING MY BUNGHOLE SIMPLY TO PREPARE IT FOR THE MASSIVE RAPE THAT WILL ENSUE. A 8 DAY NON-STOP PILEDRIVER TRAIN, ALL BECAUSE I TRUSTED IN THE HOLLOW OF HUMANITIES HEART, AND WENT TO BUY A GOD DAMNED COUCH. SO STUPID!

lol.


laugh laugh laugh

 

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TheUnholyGhost 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:

You guys have seriously been brainwashed by 90s mothers with their stranger danger bullcrap.

5.5:100,000 murders per year.

I have a .0055% (right?) chance of being murdered this year.



Noooooooot exactly. happy

I have .0055% chance of being murdered this year.

Pretty sure inviting people over from the internet ups the percentage a bit.
Strange men from the internet? A little higher.
Strange men from a Craigslist personal ad? A tiny bit more than that.
Strange men from a Craigslist personal ad who want to innocently spoon you, and that's it, cause you said so?

I think your percentage has at least broke (w)hole numbers...

 

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NSMachin 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
You're going to need a bottle of tequila. A chick told me that'll help wash the taste of dick out of your mouth, MOfo.

 

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Voodoo-Dahl 
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Kordirn 
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Aww

 

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-Dyslexia- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
NSMachin posted:
You're going to need a bottle of tequila. A chick told me that'll help wash the taste of dick out of your mouth, MOfo.


You let the Asian tranny finish again, didnt you? Damn, you are polite.

 

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Nailer2357 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Make sure that you wear a toga. Might help him re-create his old fraternity memories.

 

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NonOffensiveName 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
this thread delivered breech plain

 

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Ungabhunga 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Him You wanna be the mamma or the pappa?
Mofo The pappa.
Him Ok, come here and suck mamma's chicken

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:


I get that you guys want to let me know you think this is a bad idea, but really guys? These are some pretty pathetic scare tactics. I mean, are there any more scenarios I should watch out for? Like, one day I'm going to go to buy a couch from some lady on craigslist, and I show up to her pad, and really there's 4 GUYS STANDING THERE WITH MACHETES AND BIG BLACK DILDOS AND THEY TAZER ME BRO, THEY TAZER ME! THEN PROCEED TO ONE AT A TIME RAPE ME WITH THEIR BIG BLACK DILDOS, STRETCHING MY BUNGHOLE SIMPLY TO PREPARE IT FOR THE MASSIVE RAPE THAT WILL ENSUE. A 8 DAY NON-STOP PILEDRIVER TRAIN, ALL BECAUSE I TRUSTED IN THE HOLLOW OF HUMANITIES HEART, AND WENT TO BUY A GOD DAMNED COUCH. SO STUPID!

lol.


All that AND you get a couch? Where do I sign up!?

 

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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
tl;dr

Ding

 

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aon_mixed 
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winga 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
aon_mixed posted:


Heh

 

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Tyreal_MT 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
Would any of you like to wager on the outcome of this event??

Because the odds on me being murdered would be through the roof if any of you are willing to take the bet ;]



Ok, ok. I'll be that guy.


$50 says everything goes well.

 

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-VanDraegon- 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
Does anyone actually believe any of this crap?

 

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DunesVladHarkonnen 
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They say truth is stranger than fiction...


and this is pretty messed up...

 

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the only thing that's gonna get murdered is your o ring.

 

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AkagiyamaMissile 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
aon_mixed posted:



Ronnie is a Boss.

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
DunesVladHarkonnen posted:
They say truth is stranger than fiction...


and this is pretty messed up...


It's true, the guy hasn't messaged me again yet

FOREVER ALONE!!!!!

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
lol he said I was too up tight, and he's lookin for the right guy longterm - rofl. Doesn't want anything sexual, just as I expected.

Way to fk up my mariokart 64 dream job guys.

 

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Fozzie_Bear 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
hey I was totally for you getting your pooper stretched.

 

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Lanacan 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
On our way to 300????

 

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winga 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
lol he said I was too up tight, and he's lookin for the right guy longterm - rofl. Doesn't want anything sexual, just as I expected.

Way to fk up my mariokart 64 dream job guys.


You're not worth the money... How does that make you feel now that he broke up with you?

 

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MoFoEskimo 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
winga posted:
MoFoEskimo posted:
lol he said I was too up tight, and he's lookin for the right guy longterm - rofl. Doesn't want anything sexual, just as I expected.

Way to fk up my mariokart 64 dream job guys.


You're not worth the money... How does that make you feel now that he broke up with you?


bad,Ineeded that money

 

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Jesus.Christ.. 
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Subject: So... I'm going to be paid $120 an hour... for... basically hosting/male escorting this dude..
MoFoEskimo posted:
deadcactus posted:


I'm pretty sure the people who don't have to rent out naptime with a stranger for a few hundred bucks will still have the last laugh...


Not when I'm laughing rolling around in their feces.


ummmm....

 

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