VN Boards Archive

[VN Boards Archive]

Welcome to the Vault Network forum archive.

This is not a complete archive, time didn't allot us the opportunity to properly backup the majority of the boards deemed "expendable". Most boards on this list have at least 20-40 pages archived (non-logged in pages, 15 topics per page).

Popular boards may have as many as 250 pages archived at 50 topics per page, while others deemed of historical signifigance may be archived in their entirety.

We may not agree with how the board shutdown was managed, but we've done what we could to preserve some of its history in lieu of that.

Please enjoy the archive.
~ Managers, Moderators, VIP's, and regular posters.

Author

Topic: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story

aon_mixed Title: Pirate Kitty Posts: 97,492 Registered: Aug 19, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 96,153 User ID: 707,392	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	there was a woman named Aunt Betty. She had a sister (not by blood) named Betty. By Aunt Betty's wishes, she wanted her /sister/ Betty to spread her ashes on the river that passed through the country club she lived in over in St Petersburg. As we were filling out paperwork to cremate my grandfather, she continued on with the story in telling us that the surviving Betty (not Aunt Betty) waited months to do this because she didnt feel that the the time was right. My mom shook her pen and said that the ink ran dry, i said, "what a stroke of fscknig irony that the pen dies in a creamtorium." My brother said, "just tuck the pen in along with grandpa, who will know?" The woman continued with her story, she said that Betty finally found the right time to inter her "aunt Betty's" remains upon the creek so she went to the bridge over the creek on a perfectly still day, with beautiful blue skies and she spread her Aunt Betty's remains as requested. Minutes later, Betty heard QUACK QUACK QUACK and a bunch of duck flocked to the ashes and ate Aunt Betty's ashes. In any event, RIP my grandad -----signature----- may contain partial nudity
	Link to this post
-Prismatic- Title: Keeper of the Ratings Reg Thread Offendr Posts: 160,294 Registered: Nov 18, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 159,796 User ID: 739,411	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	I wanna be chopped into bits and shot from an air cannon into a preschool -----signature----- _____.........--------===* The More You Know. Take what you want from this life. It's yours. Weight Loss Since Jan 1, 2011: Start: 263.1lbs - Current: 185.5 lbs Lost to Date: 77.6 Lbs. http://www.endomondo.com/workouts/uXH
	Link to this post
the_great_intex Title: This is what cool looks like Posts: 30,622 Registered: Jun 27, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 27,363 User ID: 692,453	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	RIP I just hope no one rapes my corpse when I die -----signature----- Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity The only thing in life achieved without effort is failure Time Circuits... On. Flux Capacitor.... fluxxing.
	Link to this post
Ptilk Title: Creepy old pirate Posts: 50,658 Registered: Feb 13, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 48,530 User ID: 645,124	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	Death is funny. Yeah, it's sad, but it's also funny. All the crap you left behind, the junk people have to clean up. dealing with your corpse....it's either funny or tragic. I opt for funny as often as I can. Sorry bout your grandpa. Nothing funny about losing someone you love. Years from now however, the things you will want to remember are the times he was funny. Life. It's like a comedy contest where the prizes aren't given out till after everyone leaves. RIP your grandpa. Getting your ashes eaten by ducks doesn't sound like a bad way to go out to me btw. One last laugh on the universe. Ducks are funny. Cool beans. -----signature----- (none)
	Link to this post
-Mithan- Title: VNBoard Admin Posts: 1,000,060,379 Registered: Mar 1, '00 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 56,880 User ID: 13,156	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	-Prismatic- posted: I wanna be chopped into bits and shot from an air cannon into a preschool How about if we chop you into bits and mix you with poop and then shoot the poop into the government buildings. -----signature----- I survived to the end and got nothing out of it, but hey.
	Link to this post
Jezza_Belle Title: =^.^= Posts: 62,779 Registered: Feb 24, '01 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 61,759 User ID: 70,100	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	this will probably happen to my ashes as well, since I want them sank at Cannon Beach, by Haystack rock which is a bird sanctuary. -----signature----- ( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
	Link to this post
Jennifer_the_Great Title: Shrimp Farmer Posts: 35,926 Registered: May 6, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 35,628 User ID: 676,008	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	I'm sorry, aon. -----signature----- Morality isn't a 'persona', it's a way of life. Either you have it, or you don't. - Fraxcat Stupefied. 10/11/84 - 12/25/04 Jaclyn. 09/18/86 - 04/01/07
	Link to this post
aon_mixed Title: Pirate Kitty Posts: 97,492 Registered: Aug 19, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 96,153 User ID: 707,392	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	she told another story about a Dentist who was tasked to cremating his ex-wife (conditions of will.) They were married for something like 40 years and over the course of their marriage he had installed a ton of gold in her mouth. Prior to going into the furnace, he asked the lady who was telling me this story that he wanted to be present during the process (oven time) so ensure that no one would steal the gold from her mouth because he wanted to get it back. The crematorium was like, uh, weirdo the odds of you getting anything back after 2000 degrees heat is slim to none, but you are welcome to try. BUT they said it would be more optimal if he went to get the gold PRIOR to firing. in short, Mr Dentist was present during the cremation and went into her ashes with a hand rake looking for the gold. Raking thru his ex-wifes ashes looking for gold. he found none. -----signature----- may contain partial nudity
	Link to this post
-Foxy- Title: Moderator Ãœber Brat Posts: 110,094 Registered: May 29, '02 Extended Info (if available) Real Post Cnt: 107,357 User ID: 683,944	Subject: i filled out the paperwork to get my grandfather cremated yesterday, i heard this story
	you will have grand memories of your grandpa i bet aon -----signature----- Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
	Link to this post