Author Topic: to date or not to date
sweeny_comodore 
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Subject: to date or not to date
that is the question

been "hanging out" with this chick for a while now.

shes finally dumping her bf


whats the difference between "dating" and just "hanging out".

will i be required to do stuff for her, now?
like take her out on dates?
or get jealous over the other guys she "hangs out" with?
will i be required to talk about her day and things?


what are the down sides of saying "no. lets just keep "hanging out"?

 

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Ashmaele 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Do you care for this woman? Obviously there is some attraction there or you wouldn't have asked but this is a really big part of the answer.

 

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Moe_Nox 
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Subject: to date or not to date
You work on cars don't you sweeny? Was that just 9 to 5 or is it a hobby for you as well?
Well whatever your hobby is get her over and around you while you are doing it. Have her help ya out with some of it.
If it doesn't feel absolutely comfortable then just hold at friends.
If it feels right and she is smiling and enjoying the time with you doing your thing, put it in her butt and ride off into the sunset.

 

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Sansfear 
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Subject: to date or not to date
If by 'hanging out', you mean that she's been banging you on the side, then absolutely not.

If she cheated on her boyfriend with you, she'll be cheating on you with someone else.

 

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paulg_68 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Is this advice for you or her because my answer is different depending on which it is.

thinking

 

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Ashmaele 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Sansfear posted:
If by 'hanging out', you mean that she's been banging you on the side, then absolutely not.

If she cheated on her boyfriend with you, she'll be cheating on you with someone else.




You know it's funny but this applies more to the boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic than the husband/wife dynamic.

Well maybe it's not funny at all whatever

 

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Abaddon_Ambrosius 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Moe_Nox posted:
You work on cars don't you sweeny? Was that just 9 to 5 or is it a hobby for you as well?


Sex on the hood of a car is hot.





If the car is clean.

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Sansfear posted:
If by 'hanging out', you mean that she's been banging you on the side, then absolutely not.

If she cheated on her boyfriend with you, she'll be cheating on you with someone else.







this
though im not sure i care.
that is the reason for the question.

is it possible to "date" her without getting too involved?
theres definitely attraction there but im pretty sure its all below the waist.

what are the potential outcomes if i "date" her and ride it out till she either tires of my lack of interest or we both wind up in jail with thousands of dollars in fines from who knows what?

how involved would i have to be as "the boyfriend"?


and shes way into my hobbies with me.
both drinking and brewing beer.

and i havent worked on cars in almost 10 years now.
sex on the bow of a boat under the hot summer sun is way hotter than sex on the hood of a car

 

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Ashmaele 
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Subject: to date or not to date
male semen is molecularly indistinguishable from Turtle Wax



 

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Sezyrrith 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Abaddon_Ambrosius posted:
Moe_Nox posted:
You work on cars don't you sweeny? Was that just 9 to 5 or is it a hobby for you as well?


Sex on the hood of a car is hot.





If the car is clean.
Or if it's been running recently.

Different kind of hot, though.

 

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Modeeb 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Jealousy is a waste of time. go for it; pitch some woo! You can tell spring is in the air!

 

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Abaddon_Ambrosius 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Ashmaele posted:
male semen is molecularly indistinguishable from Turtle Wax



This post is givin' me all kinds of CSI-like ideas.

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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Subject: to date or not to date
Modeeb posted:
Jealousy is a waste of time. go for it; pitch some woo! You can tell spring is in the air!





that was the post i was waiting for.
thanks laz


spring is definitely in the air
and it is good

 

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ZartanAround 
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Subject: to date or not to date

guess what toad, she wants nothing to do with a drooling mechanic.
keep fantasizing. your just one step closer to a restraining order.

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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Subject: to date or not to date
women love the dirty, muscled, mechanic types

they love a man who knows how to use his tool

 

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IMHO 
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Subject: to date or not to date
ZartanAround posted:

guess what toad, she wants nothing to do with a drooling mechanic.
keep fantasizing. your just one step closer to a restraining order.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrpXArn3hII

 

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ZartanAround 
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Subject: to date or not to date

no you are wrong.

that is why you only see them with femmy bitchy half-shits.

they can pay the bills. so they are more man than your are.
bitches don't give a fuck about what makes this work like that.

sorry pal, you're not even in last place.
you're lucky if you make it as a footnote.

 

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Sansfear 
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sweeny taking dating advice from modeeb

laugh laugh laugh

 

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IMHO 
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Sansfear posted:
sweeny taking dating advice from modeeb

laugh laugh laugh
laugh

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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Subject: to date or not to date
ZartanAround posted:

no you are wrong.

that is why you only see them with femmy bitchy half-shits.

they can pay the bills. so they are more man than your are.
bitches don't give a fuck about what makes this work like that.

sorry pal, you're not even in last place.
you're lucky if you make it as a footnote.





lol
bad troll is just plain bad dude.

give it up
youre just making yourself look retarded

 

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ZartanAround 
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looking retarded is sticking your wiener in an electrical socket...
which is where you will have better luck than with any breathing human.

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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just go ask your mom, son

 

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ZartanAround 
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my mom said that all of the other girls laugh at you. laugh

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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lol

 

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Ashmaele 
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Sansfear posted:
sweeny taking dating advice from modeeb

laugh laugh laugh
Mo's a dating god, dating <> marriage

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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everyone should take dating advice from mo

 

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ZartanAround 
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prove me wrong and ask her out.
then you have an answer to all of your questions.

/throws down gauntlet

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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ZartanAround posted:

prove me wrong and ask her out.
then you have an answer to all of your questions.

/throws down gauntlet




lol

youre already wrong.


and shes the one coming on to me.
all i have to do is say yes or no.

im telling ya, man. get out of your cubicle, get some sun and learn to do something like work with your hands.
chicks dig a man whos good with his tool.
besides, sitting on your ass all day isnt good for your circulation and stuff... get some excersize and i bet your wife will quit calling me.

 

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ZartanAround 
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you're the one who started this thread with all of the 12 year old type questions.

ask her out and get it over with...

i promise i won't gloat when you find out that i was right.

 

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sweeny_comodore 
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sometimes it helps to think out loud with other voices answering aside from your own.




and youre wrong.


trust me, get out of your cubicle and actually do something some time and you might just understand

 

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ZartanAround 
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so you're slamming me for encouraging you to do what you didn't have the balls to do at the beginning of this thread?

OK, sparky. figure it out for yourself.

 

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Chant_ 
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Women are evil .. just sayin'

 

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Jorrdan 
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You should have just PM'd Mo to begin with. He will give you the answer you really want everytime. Which is, of course, to screw her. This is not rocket science.

 

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Eh.
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Cawlin 
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Much of the advice about her cheating with you and becoming someone who cheats ON you is sound here, and it IS a consideration. The advice about seeing if the two of you really gel beyond the thrill of cheating is also sound. For her, the only reason to "hang out" with you may well be the thrill of the fact that you aren't her current significant other. You may be like a friend's or relative's baby to her - fun to play with but only because when they siht in their diaper or start squalling, you can hand them back to their momma and go on your merry way. That is not to say that I am calling you a baby or anything, just making an analogy about a plaything vs. a commitment.

The best you can do is see what it's all about. There's no down side to dating other than your heart. Sure you will likely probably spend more on things than you do now. She will likely expect you to take her out and do clothed things with her, but she may not... some women don't go in for that sort of thing, and maybe she likes going to happy hour with you or whatever too... you probably know her proclivities here already.

Just watch your attachment, you may get hurt, but then that's a possibility with any relationship - and I will apologize here for the awful platitude but it's as true as the day is long: nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck.


Oh and another note too, if you don't "date" her or "commit" to an exclusive relationship with her, which is what she's asking you to do, she will very likely go and find someone who will, at which point she may (or may not) stop hanging out with you...

 

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Modeeb 
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Jordan the word entasy means to find the bliss inside, to discover the foundation of self in the Other, which has nothing to do with mechanically thrusting or even who we think we are. You misinterpret me, if you believe I recommend anything less than entasy as the journey in love making.

 

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eodoll 
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id probably date her if there was nothing netter around.

i dont respect cheaters although from the sound of it she has not truly cheated yet.

 

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Jorrdan 
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Modeeb posted:
Jordan the word entasy means to find the bliss inside, to discover the foundation of self in the Other, which has nothing to do with mechanically thrusting or even who we think we are. You misinterpret me, if you believe I recommend anything less than entasy as the journey in love making.


Uh huh. I have yet to see you not recommend entasy. Call it whatever pretty term you want. In the end, it all has the same result now doesn't it? Which is my point.

 

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Modeeb 
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It is the tragic journey of the Idiot prince, the wanderer wakes up to a different face and asks: Is this the One? There is nothing conscious about love.

 

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Cawlin 
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Modeeb posted:
It is the tragic journey of the Idiot prince, the wanderer wakes up to a different face and asks: Is this the One? There is nothing conscious about love.


So, by calling sex love, and saying that there is nothing conscious about it, aren't you really just attempting to excuse yourself from being responsible for your actions?

 

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Modeeb 
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No, absolutely not. I'm not communicating the dynamic. Of course love is a mystery. Love is the absolute plum. I'm just unpersuaded there is only one. But, if you know me, then All is One. It is better to stop thinking about it and just play and relax.

 

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RHWarrior 
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Sex, love, affection, all different facets of the same concept.

peace

 

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Cawlin 
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RHWarrior posted:
Sex, love, affection, all different facets of the same concept.

peace



So are murder, manslaughter, and justifiable homicide facets of the same concept (a different one than love of course but still)...



My point is that peoples' emotions and feelings matter and that's just the plain truth of it. Acting as if you cannot be held responsible for your actions when another's emotions are involved is bad juju imo. I'm not against NSA fooling around with willing participants, not even remotely in the least do I have a problem with that. However, I think that people need to be cognizant of others' feelings and implied commitments and/or implied depth of feelings. This is really about the golden rule when you get right down to it.

 

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B_Shinkicker 
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Just so long as you realize that as soon as she meets someone with a nicer car she is going to leave you. First she is going to start cheating on you for a while to see if the new guy is really worth leaving you for though, so as soon as her behaviors change and she starts shuffling her schedule on you out of the blue, it is safe to say that the cheating has started.

If you're okay with all of this, then I say to go for it, just don't get yourself too emotionally involved.

 

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