Author Topic: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
It is apparently to try to find as many ways to get other people to watch your kids as often as possible.

My wife and I are watching two young'uns this weekend. Don't know how you parents do this...swimming lessons, gymnastics, a whole lot of other kids, and fkin Dora. God, all I could do to get through an episode of Dora before their bedtime last night was pound gin. Of course, it made me somewhat snarky...

Dora: "Will you help us push the sled?"
DE: "NO"
Dora: "Yay!"

Dora: "Where does our friend the pumpkin need to go?"
DE (under breath): "To hell."
Dora: "That's right!"

 

-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
Link to this post
the_great_ontex 
Title: This is what cool looks like
Posts: 31,805
Registered: Feb 13, '12
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 806
User ID: 1,438,403
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
lol me and my brother used to watch Dora and answer her questions in profane ways all the time

Some reason we both just found it entertaining answering her in really mean ways laugh

 

-----signature-----
(none)
Link to this post
-VanDraegon- 
Title: Ratt-n-Roll
Posts: 17,650
Registered: Jun 26, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,051
User ID: 31,411
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
DE gonna be a daddy in a few years. lol

 

-----signature-----
Many men go fishing their entire lives without knowing it is not fish they are after. ~Thoreau
flag
Link to this post
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
-VanDraegon- posted:
DE gonna be a daddy in a few years. lol



Fk that. I'm getting a vasectomy for my 30th birthday. Wife is demanding it.

 

-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
Link to this post
-VanDraegon- 
Title: Ratt-n-Roll
Posts: 17,650
Registered: Jun 26, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,051
User ID: 31,411
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Uh huh. Her biological clock will kick in before too long. Its all over after that.

 

-----signature-----
Many men go fishing their entire lives without knowing it is not fish they are after. ~Thoreau
flag
Link to this post
WhipSmack 
Posts: 21,189
Registered: Jan 8, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,564
User ID: 61,788
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Within 5 years DE's wife will be preggers or wanting to adopt.

 

-----signature-----
(none)
Link to this post
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
-VanDraegon- posted:
Uh huh. Her biological clock will kick in before too long. Its all over after that.


Doubt it. She's older than me.

 

-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
Link to this post
Fozzie_Bear 
Posts: 48,479
Registered: Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 47,515
User ID: 558,887
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Kids are great. Best UCM you'll ever find.

 

-----signature-----
The Oatmeal Butterscotch paired with a Snickerdoodle
turned my cynical penis into a happy vagina
Then after an Oatmeal Cranberry and Double Chocolate,
it made my new vagina spontaneously sing the Trolololo Song in an elevator.
---AkagiyamaMissile
Link to this post
Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.




Damn right I am, whatcha gonna do about it?

 

-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
Link to this post
Rhodoman 
Posts: 81,876
Registered: Jun 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,454
User ID: 154,069
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
It takes a while for "They are ALWAYS there" to sink in.

Rho

 

-----signature-----
Rho is correct. - Varece
Venit hiems quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
Link to this post
Kordirn 
Title: Pirate Prince
Posts: 23,453
Registered: Apr 19, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,192
User ID: 915,876
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.




There is a reason the more education you have the less like you are to have a kid. wink

 

-----signature-----
ooOooo oOoOO OOo
Link to this post
jonus156 
Posts: 10,613
Registered: Oct 12, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,418
User ID: 1,084,426
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Kordirn posted:
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.




There is a reason the more education you have the less like you are to have a kid. wink


hence the reason the world is getting dumber stupid people are out breeding the smart

 

-----signature-----
This thread begs the question: do the "women" of ACF use a funnel to get that much sand in their vagina or do they just slide around the beach like an angry Roomba? -deadcactus-
"I could go for some cock"--cute_but_stupid
Link to this post
Reapist 
Title: Official ACF HIOFI Poster
Posts: 74,991
Registered: Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 74,235
User ID: 559,475
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tWQmzW8aV0

 

-----signature-----
pkhere: Jebus sometimes you make my arse tired.
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
I'd feel bad for Satriani but he got himself into it. - allmightybob_MLF
Link to this post
-VanDraegon- 
Title: Ratt-n-Roll
Posts: 17,650
Registered: Jun 26, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,051
User ID: 31,411
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Dark_EternalFF posted:
-VanDraegon- posted:
Uh huh. Her biological clock will kick in before too long. Its all over after that.


Doubt it. She's older than me.



It gets really bad in the late 30s. You got a ways to go yet. Furthermore, your friends will start having more kids, she will be around them more often....


Kidding aside, it isnt a bad thing. My son is the best thing to ever happen to me. It is amazing what a whole new perspective it is once you are a parent. I never planned on kids myself either....

 

-----signature-----
Many men go fishing their entire lives without knowing it is not fish they are after. ~Thoreau
flag
Link to this post
Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Dark_EternalFF posted:
Mangler_SC posted:

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.


Damn right I am, whatcha gonna do about it?
Nothing other than confirm what I said.

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Kordirn posted:
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.


There is a reason the more education you have the less like you are to have a kid. wink
My IQ is well above average and so is my daughter's.

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
Onslaught. 
Title: I've always wanted a title.
Posts: 56,272
Registered: Feb 13, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 55,112
User ID: 68,094
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:
Kordirn posted:
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.


There is a reason the more education you have the less like you are to have a kid. wink
My IQ is well above average and so is my daughter's.




Isn't the internet great? You can say pretty much anything about yourself and there is no way for anyone to verify it or deny it. So, it must be true right?

Arch_Magi, BT, and TUG also have IQs in the 160 range. You should start a club.

 

-----signature-----
"Mmmmrmmrrrmrrmrmrrrrmrmrrmrmrmrrmrr"
-GinsuWife
Link to this post
Ptilk 
Title: Creepy old pirate
Posts: 50,658
Registered: Feb 13, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,530
User ID: 645,124
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Dude. Kids are awesome. They are just like me, but also evil, unfeeling, and completely secure in their feelings of superiority. It's amazing to not be the biggest jerk in the room, and every person under the age of 11 is a bigger jerk than I could ever be.

I always feel good about myself after spending time with the evil little bastards.

 

-----signature-----
(none)
Link to this post
.Sylva. 
Title: The Beer Fairy
Posts: 24,491
Registered: Apr 8, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,712
User ID: 85,621
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.


Of course! I think I'll start littering and kicking small animals too.
beatup

 

-----signature-----
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Elitist.
Link to this post
Onslaught. 
Title: I've always wanted a title.
Posts: 56,272
Registered: Feb 13, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 55,112
User ID: 68,094
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
It's amazing how mangler entered this thread intending to say something quasi noble like, "No, I think kids are great", but managed to come off sounding a bigger dickhead than the guy who was intentionally trying to sound like a douchebag by hating on kids.

 

-----signature-----
"Mmmmrmmrrrmrrmrmrrrrmrmrrmrmrmrrmrr"
-GinsuWife
Link to this post
Kordirn 
Title: Pirate Prince
Posts: 23,453
Registered: Apr 19, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,192
User ID: 915,876
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:
Kordirn posted:
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.


There is a reason the more education you have the less like you are to have a kid. wink
My IQ is well above average and so is my daughter's.


and that has to do what with my point? Unless you're IQ is too low to know what less likely means.

 

-----signature-----
ooOooo oOoOO OOo
Link to this post
myxomatosis8 
Title: amateur zookeeper
Posts: 18,778
Registered: Jul 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 18,441
User ID: 251,097
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
I will not let my kids watch Dora, her high-pitched stupid voice and creepy giant-headed big eye stare at the TV screen is too much for me to handle.

 

-----signature-----
If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.
Link to this post
purplehugmonkey 
Posts: 12,787
Registered: May 16, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 12,662
User ID: 1,049,746
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Some comedian did a bit on her the other day about why the hell is she walking around the woods without her parents and always getting lost in the first place, and how it's racist because of that.

Forget who it was. I think he said she crosses a river in every episode too. laugh

 

-----signature-----
College women are as unstable as free radicals. Thanks college.
-Anebriated
He was a jedi before he was a father and everyone knows how much jedi love to chop off hands.
-Kigaro
Link to this post
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Onslaught. posted:
It's amazing how mangler entered this thread intending to say something quasi noble like, "No, I think kids are great", but managed to come off sounding a bigger dickhead than the guy who was intentionally trying to sound like a douchebag by hating on kids.


It's great, isn't it? I think fat cells are used for storing hate, really.

 

-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
Link to this post
Jezza_Belle 
Title: =^.^=
Posts: 62,779
Registered: Feb 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,759
User ID: 70,100
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Mangler_SC posted:

Kids are awesome.

People that don't want to be or are incapable of raising a child is a piss poor human being.




oh please, KIDS SUCK

That doesn't mean I love mine any less than you love yours, but at least I'm not delusional and trying to con others into parenthood with that big profanity eating grin, telling them how it's all rainbows and puppy dogs and they're LESSER HUMANS for seeing the faults in the system and not wanting to be included in the parent trap.

 

-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI.
Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
Link to this post
Rhodoman 
Posts: 81,876
Registered: Jun 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,454
User ID: 154,069
Subject: I have discovered the true purpose of parenting
Onslaught. posted:

He probably means median.

Rho

 

-----signature-----
Rho is correct. - Varece
Venit hiems quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
Link to this post

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Powered by PHP