Altra_Shadowstalker
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Are you self-motivated?
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I have a hard time getting stuff done. I can probably blame a lot of my laziness on my insomnia/sleep schedule, but I have trouble just starting things that I know I should do. Things I should want to do.
I'm starting to think I'm depressed and just don't know it. I think I'm addicted to masturbatory acts such as checking the Outpost to see if anyone has responded to my posts or checking the internet to see if there's a video I can masturbate to. Some weekends, I go out on a Friday night with friends and then pretend I have a hangover so I can stay in the rest of my weekend. If I'm in a relationship, I do this with the girl and feel just as useless at the end of the weekend. (and then of course I blame her for us being boring because she hasn't motivated me to do anything interesting)
A very large part of me really enjoys my life, just existing and not having to worry much about anything. I can shrug just about anything off -- I'm the type of guy who realizes he dropped $20 somewhere and turns the experience into a positive one: 'I'm really glad to have enough money that losing it won't impact me at all.' But there's a small part of me way back in my brain shrilly screaming, "DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE! WAKE UP AND GO LIVE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE HAVING ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING!"
They say you get out of life what you put into it. I haven't really put anything into it but I feel like I have everything already. I guess it's tough to add to your workload when there's no consequence either way and you're the only one you answer to. I'm thinking the answer to this is to grow that shrill voice in such a way that it can co-exist with the tranquil, life-loving, can't-get-me-down rest of me. That, and swap smoking pot with taking Adderall.
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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GrilledCheez
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i don't think accomplishments matter all that much when you're dead. Think about it in a hundred years every human could be dead. What good would G Washington's accomplishments be then? Mortality sucks, but it is also a free pass to live your life however you want. In the end little matters.
That said, I pretty much always do the best thing I can at the time. This is as much a compulsion to me as laziness is to you. I wouldn't worry too much about it. At the end of the day we all do what we were made to do. One way or the other.
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BubbleDude
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I'm pretty sure that's just the pot doing that. Quit for a few months.
And I'm not anti-weed. I love the stuff.
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Are you self-motivated?
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BubbleDude posted:
I'm pretty sure that's just the pot doing that. Quit for a few months.
And I'm not anti-weed. I love the stuff.
I wish it was. I've quit often and the reason I end up starting back up again is because there's not much difference in my attitude. If I'm gonna be lazy, I might as well enjoy it!
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Are you self-motivated?
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GrilledCheez posted:
i don't think accomplishments matter all that much when you're dead. Think about it in a hundred years every human could be dead. What good would G Washington's accomplishments be then? Mortality sucks, but it is also a free pass to live your life however you want. In the end little matters.
That said, I pretty much always do the best thing I can at the time. This is as much a compulsion to me as laziness is to you. I wouldn't worry too much about it. At the end of the day we all do what we were made to do. One way or the other.
Sounds too fatalistic to me. If the world ends in a century, I'd want to have positively impacted as many people as I could. I want aliens to visit the wreckage of our planet and see my mark.
I think part of it is I have pretty much one life goal, and I'm always worried when I waste time that I'll never achieve it. I think another, very large part, is that I live in New York and everyone here is very pressured and pressuring to achieve "success."
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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Mastara
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I just try to be content with what I have, where I am and enjoy what I'm doing. I am self motivated to a point I guess. I start some projects and the ones I like I finish fast, the ones I cant afford or dont have time for often get pushed to side for a while. But after time I get back to it.
Like right now I'm doing some reloading for my 25-06 and 223 for hunting season. Need to work up about 200 rounds of each for barrel break in and bullet development.
Then I'm building a 14 gallon biocube reef tank. Gathering materials and setting it all up.
Upgrading my comp still, wifes too and a few other projects. Not enough time in the day it seems. I'll get to it one day.
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the_great_ontex
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I am self motivated, yes, in the way I don't give up. I dont watch a lot of TV. I take initiative to the point I think it annoys others, at least at work. I wonder how some people can be so lazy actually.
As far as pot... try not to get so stoned. As much of a stoner I parade myself on here as, I absolutely hate being intoxicated to the point that I do not have control. I smoke one or two small hits at most.
I would cut back on smoking so much and have defined goals. Use time during the day to recount on mental notes and write down, in writing, what you need to do. A list of action items, even if you don't read it ever again making those notes will help. Also, organize yourself. Chaos inside your home/apartment will cause chaos inside your life.
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eodoll
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if youre happy then dont let other peoples idea of what it means to be happy bring you down.
if youre a procarastinator then snap yourself out of it and just do it instead of putting things off.
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Eternal_Midnight
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Altra_Shadowstalker posted:
I wish it was. I've quit often and the reason I end up starting back up again is because there's not much difference in my attitude. If I'm gonna be lazy, I might as well enjoy it!
It depends how much you are smoking, but having quit recently, I can say most definitely that pot enhanced my anti-social tendancies. I don't really like people that much, and smoking gave me a great excuse not to deal with people. It also gave me a great excuse to avoid people, because I was trying to hide that I was high.
You need to try to isolate the automatic thoughts you are having when you try to get stuff done. What are you saying to yourself? Is there certain things that keep coming up? Try to determine exactly what it is that is keeping you from doing stuff. This is not as easy as it sounds.... sometimes those automatic thoughts are buried almost as deep as your unconscious.
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the_great_ontex
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I agree. Getting stuff done instead of waiting to do it is psychologically pleasing. You can almost get a "high" of sorts just by accomplishing small tasks throughout the day, and you'll be happier for it also.
Another thing that helps me is that I am VERY competitive. When I see someone who excels at something I say, "I can do that if he can" and then I do it. Once I go up one ladder I start looking for the next. I HATE when people constantly kiss my ass about how good my work is. Criticism is the ultimate root to improving oneself.
Also, don't be in such a rush. Take time. Take breaks and collect oneself. Listen to music that inspires you. People expect results without seeing the journey. Don't do that. Map out your journey and your steps and you'll get further than you ever thought you could.
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Hsi_Kang
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Have to be as a modern day sharecropper!
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Abaddon_Ambrosius
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Altra_Shadowstalker posted:
Are you self-motivated?
I don't know. Should I be?
Who can I ask for help with that?
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Ptilk
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I used to be a "go getter" who outworked everyone on the planet. I put in the hours, the long, boring, dreadful hours....and I got compensated for doing so. I made cash. Quite a bit of it. I bought all the cool toys, felt god damn good. King of the world and shit.....
I also got 3 heart attacks, divorced, and credit card bills to choke a horse. Used to have trouble sleeping, always worried I had forgotten to do something, left some issue unfulfilled, didn't do something that needed to be done....worry, fret, stress, obsess....rinse wash repeat.
Gave that crap up in a minor explosion of ego bursting enlightenment. No one cares what I wear, what I drive, what my house looks like, how hot my woman is, how much I'm worth. They just don't. No matter how much crap I buy or possess...I'm still the same asshole I was back when I didn't have shit.
I define my possessions, they don't define me. I might make some chick think that a Rolex is stupid by wearing one, but I'm never going to convince some chick that I'm cool because I have one. I'm a subractor of coolness, not an adder.
I can't live my life trying to prove to a bunch of stupid kids I went to high school with 35 years ago and haven't seen since..that I really am cool. Who the fuck cares what they would think of me now? I'm never going to go back in time and make them love me.
People in my life now love me. They really do. I have the best friends, really awesome people who I value for who they are. It's an amazingly freeing feeling to know that people you respect also respect you. I don't need to do anything to win them over, they like me for who I am.
Even though I am a creepy, old, foul mouthed curmudgeon. I'm all in. No excuses, no exit plans, I'm me. Take it or leave it.
So anyway...back to the question. Am I self motivated? Sure, if by motivated you mean absolutely happy to be who I am and taking every advantage and opportunity to be more like me every day. I don't think I'm great, but I'm the greatest me who ever lived.
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Orwyn_Blackheart
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Altra_Shadowstalker posted:
I have a hard time getting stuff done. I can probably blame a lot of my laziness on my insomnia/sleep schedule, but I have trouble just starting things that I know I should do. Things I should want to do.
I'm starting to think I'm depressed and just don't know it. I think I'm addicted to masturbatory acts such as checking the Outpost to see if anyone has responded to my posts or checking the internet to see if there's a video I can masturbate to. Some weekends, I go out on a Friday night with friends and then pretend I have a hangover so I can stay in the rest of my weekend. If I'm in a relationship, I do this with the girl and feel just as useless at the end of the weekend. (and then of course I blame her for us being boring because she hasn't motivated me to do anything interesting)
A very large part of me really enjoys my life, just existing and not having to worry much about anything. I can shrug just about anything off -- I'm the type of guy who realizes he dropped $20 somewhere and turns the experience into a positive one: 'I'm really glad to have enough money that losing it won't impact me at all.' But there's a small part of me way back in my brain shrilly screaming, "DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE! WAKE UP AND GO LIVE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE HAVING ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING!"
They say you get out of life what you put into it. I haven't really put anything into it but I feel like I have everything already. I guess it's tough to add to your workload when there's no consequence either way and you're the only one you answer to. I'm thinking the answer to this is to grow that shrill voice in such a way that it can co-exist with the tranquil, life-loving, can't-get-me-down rest of me. That, and swap smoking pot with taking Adderall.
I really think you should see a doctor, be very frank about all your personal troubles, and just go from there........... might be the best decision you have ever made.
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IMHO
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Orwyn_Blackheart posted:
I really think you should see a doctor, be very frank about all your personal troubles, and just go from there........... might be the best decision you have ever made.
This.
Sounds like depression.
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Ptilk
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From your initial post I can tell a couple of things.
You are human
You are normal
If you really feel upset that you aren't "doing anything"...take a trip. Go see how people live in areas of the world that aren't just like yours.
You will come home and be thankful for stuff you always took for granted. That's a plus.
It's not like anyone, anywhere, gives a damn what you do. Might as well do whatever the hell you feel like. Eh?
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IMHO
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If he's suffering from depression that won't help. Exercise and a good therapist will do the trick.
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You're Right ~ Koneg
He's [Manegarm] like the Fred Phelps of atheism. ~Bubbledude
many of you are in the Republican boat, aka the ship of fools. ~Modeeb
We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. ~Kurt Vonnegut
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Yeah, getting out of this city is always a good boost to my spirits. I took a trip last October to visit my parents in Oregon and wow did it help put things in perspective.
I don't think I'm depressed. I'm usually very happy. I just don't like the idea that I'm wasting my life, and after another unproductive weekend, I can't help but feel that way. Depression is usually when you feel sad or upset without any reason.
Still, I'm due for a Dr. visit soon anyway, maybe I'll mention something. I definitely want to get on Adderall though, at the very least, it seems to help me focus which can be motivating.
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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Ptilk
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I've been clinically depressed for decades.
The only thing that helps me, is seeing other people whose lives suck worse than mine ever could. I spend months after such a trip kicking the ass of capitalism....and getting laid.
If that isn't a cure, it sure as hell beats the sickenss.
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Haha
I've been to some pretty poor places when I was younger and I saw tons of poverty. I saw things that shaped and molded me to the point where I don't really care about money or the traditional idea of success. As long as theres food on the table and a roof over my head, I'm happy. Everything else has just proven to be a distraction anyway.
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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Modeeb
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Atra, the first thing you do is need to accept yourself unconditionally as you are. It all starts there. Its easy to get caught up in the shoulds. I have been preaching there are no shoulds for years on this board. I know there are no shoulds is a should in itself.
You just need to change habits. I really recommend this book for practical useful strategies. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People You can buy a copy for a penny. I have dozens of these I can recommend. Try this one.
This is a good template for changing habits. That is all they are, though. Dont buy into the cultural bullshit that you are supposed to be doing better. Just be yourself and that is good enough. Ptilk and I agree on this. He sounds experiences. I know I have looked into the abyss way too much. The answers are easy. Just relax and be yourself.
Pot definitely makes you fat and lazy. It is a lot of fun. Just do it in moderation. I have not done any in about a month and I wont do any for at least another 6 weeks. I am going to rent Laurel and Hardy films, get stoned and laugh my ass off.
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Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
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Halloweve
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I'm pretty chill. I no longer put pressure on myself to do things i don't feel like doing at that moment. I like myself better like this. It has nothing to do with being lazy..I just choose my battles more wisely.
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LadyGodiva.
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Altra_Shadowstalker posted:
I'm starting to think I'm depressed and just don't know it.
You'd know it. You may not admit it to yourself, but depression isn't just laziness or lack of motivation. It comes with a lot of feelings of sadness, negativity, worthlessness, or even anger.
I think you just need to start doing things. Go out and be active doing something you enjoy. The more you stay home the more you want to stay home, and cutting yourself off from the outside world can lead to depression and loneliness.
Oftentimes as you get older you stop wanting to go out drinking or partying every weekend as well. If that's all your friends do, you may be bored with that which is normal. It's also normal to reflect on your life and ask "is this where I want to be?" "What have I really accomplished?" This self questioning is both good and bad - it can help to push us to do something self satisfying, but it can also cause us to be too hard on ourselves and dampen our spirits. If you're content with your life, I don't really think there's anything you need to worry about. Really, nobody expects you to find the cure for the common cold or paint a thousand masterpieces or live in a 25 room mansion.
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Modeeb
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If you smoke too much pot you can get self critical to the point of a psychotic break. I once talked myself into an end of the line speech. Here I am at the end of the line, a loser, a charlatan, who has disappointed everyone I have ever came in contact with...the self criticism went on for about an hour. I was miserable. You have to note the extreme exaggeration. If I could remember any more of it, Doesoevsky's Underground Man could learn a few things about self-loathing from me. Its allbullshit thinking. That is when you know the pot is too strong. it is a psychotic break. It still can have benefits though. You start to name when you are self criticizing and then you let it go.
One thing- meditation will neutralize thinking. Spiritual paths are fun. Personally I dont buy into anti depressant meds. Maybe for short term bridge but not for the long term. I want to feel the pain.
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"Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter. Try Again.
Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
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the_great_ontex
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Haha you guys get a weird reaction to pot. If i get major stoned I tend to do something creative or eat an entire package of salad mix without taking it out of the bag
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Allstarslacker
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What does it mean to accomplish something?
Why do you want it so badly?
Sometimes it's hard to accept how small we are. We want to be so much, but we just aren't.
I am self-motivated, but it's not to measure up to a standard that only exists in our heads. I try to find the happiness of the moment. There's no guarantee of anything else.
Do you really want to accomplish something, or is it that you want people to see the potential you think is inside you?
There's nothing to prove, so stop worrying about it.
Matthew 11:28-30
New International Version (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.â€
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eodoll
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Sounds like you may be depressed or just have a drug problem or both.
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Moe_Nox
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I pity the stoners that are missing life.
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Modeeb
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Allstarslacker posted:
Matthew 11:28-30
New International Version (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.â€
This is the core of a real life Mage. It is called effortless effort. 
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"What is here is there. What is not here is nowhere." Vishvasara Tantra
"Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter. Try Again.
Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
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