-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
so this chick is into me, but i can't get over the single mom thing. is it worth hooking up with her? i'm assuming she's probably going to want a relationship whereas i don't want anything serious right now. also we carpool to class a couple times a week to save gas, and we're in the same circle of friends. so i'm afraid it will complicate things.
thoughts?
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cuttlery
Title: Wanna see what you missed?
Posts:
76,924
Registered:
Jan 9, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 72,785
User ID: 62,026
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
You at least know she puts out
-----signature-----
0.o
Bored and Useless
|
|
Link to this post
|
Brandun
Posts:
35,276
Registered:
Jan 23, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 34,522
User ID: 627,054
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
At least once
-----signature-----
Everything will be OK in the end If it's not OK, it's not the end http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSFaLUZ2rf4&feature=share
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lynea
Title: Dances with Trolls
Posts:
82,344
Registered:
Jul 26, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,243
User ID: 280,742
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Not every single woman wants a relationship. Perhaps you should ask what she's looking for?
And like the guys said, at least you know she puts out. 
-----signature-----
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "It's crazy that the board newbies think I am a Liberal and B_T is a neo-con." - Gustaive_MT "God left a very clear instruction to Adam. The ****head couldn't even follow that." - -Abednego-
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
i also know she doesn't abort
thats my biggest fear
also whats gonna be the deal with the vagina is it still like a normal vagina or what
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
TheNinthSeal
Posts:
185
Registered:
Feb 21, '12
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 185
User ID: 1,438,808
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Single moms are what I go for. If they are looking for a relationship, they take it seriously. I like that. I don't want some club girl. (I know not all single moms are responsible, just something I have noticed)
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
FineYoungCannibals
Title: Top of the food chain
Posts:
74,939
Registered:
Jul 14, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 73,108
User ID: 822,330
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
single moms are used meat, walk away
-----signature-----
 FYC
|
|
Link to this post
|
Second_Chance
Title: Great One
Posts:
31,389
Registered:
Feb 28, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 30,770
User ID: 70,935
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
If you tap that ass, you'll likely go home with a juice box. Win/Win
-----signature-----
I am my brothers' keeper I quit smoking 6/18/02 @ Midnight then started again  Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. Loyal husband to Katriel <--- Blinky wants your soul!!!
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
still not convinced
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Varece
Posts:
46,015
Registered:
Jan 7, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 44,985
User ID: 598,676
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
troll
-----signature-----
I am no longer young enough to know everything Knowledge is Free  America's Libraries "You embrace that which defines you" "If you tell the truth, you don't need a good memory" We're not perfect...we're parents
|
|
Link to this post
|
Hawkson
Title: I AM AN ASSASSIN (SHH)
Posts:
30,565
Registered:
Oct 23, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 30,208
User ID: 478,685
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Second_Chance posted:
If you tap that ass, you'll likely go home with a juice box. Win/Win
hahah.
-----signature-----
Hawkson, Esq.
Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1. This not to say that you have to be #1 all the time, or should expect that in any relationship, but you will ALWAYS be a second consideration beyond the child or children.
Now I know that all parents are going to say "kids always come first!", and of course that's true, but that's not quite what I'm talking about.
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Now, if you're just looking for some fun between the sheets and you're both on the same page about having non-committal sex, sure, go for it! But be aware of the issues with a possible relationship if you try to go that route.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
Fallen_daemon
Posts:
54,593
Registered:
Jul 28, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 53,783
User ID: 285,476
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
FineYoungCannibals posted:
single moms are used meat, walk away
-----signature-----
Fight white guilt and injustice by going to a Native American casino and gamble your money away. me pic http://acf.curbjaw.com/armchair.htm Formerly known as :armchair warrior, sysphus, fallen_deamon http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form
|
|
Link to this post
|
Former_Camilla
Title: Official Team Canada Cheerleader!
Posts:
28,265
Registered:
Mar 11, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,496
User ID: 72,999
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1. This not to say that you have to be #1 all the time, or should expect that in any relationship, but you will ALWAYS be a second consideration beyond the child or children.
Now I know that all parents are going to say "kids always come first!", and of course that's true, but that's not quite what I'm talking about.
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Now, if you're just looking for some fun between the sheets and you're both on the same page about having non-committal sex, sure, go for it! But be aware of the issues with a possible relationship if you try to go that route.
As a single father, I actually had to tell a girl recently (last week actually) that while my child is extremely important to me, I also have needs that need to be met and that sometimes, she isn't "always #1".
Both her and my child will need to learn to adapt to each other.
For me, saying that you're choosing one or the other before knowing what's going on, is a grave and naive mistake.
With that said, any relationship can work if the people want it to.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Kriegprojekt
Posts:
2,653
Registered:
Apr 12, '10
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 2,591
User ID: 1,390,814
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Danger!
-----signature-----
http://www.immortal-guild.com/ Deepstrike Server Milkman - Guardian Bard
|
|
Link to this post
|
Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts:
85,900
Registered:
Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Hit it
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Former_Camilla posted:
Cawlin posted:
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1. This not to say that you have to be #1 all the time, or should expect that in any relationship, but you will ALWAYS be a second consideration beyond the child or children.
Now I know that all parents are going to say "kids always come first!", and of course that's true, but that's not quite what I'm talking about.
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Now, if you're just looking for some fun between the sheets and you're both on the same page about having non-committal sex, sure, go for it! But be aware of the issues with a possible relationship if you try to go that route.
As a single father, I actually had to tell a girl recently (last week actually) that while my child is extremely important to me, I also have needs that need to be met and that sometimes, she isn't "always #1".
Both her and my child will need to learn to adapt to each other.
For me, saying that you're choosing one or the other before knowing what's going on, is a grave and naive mistake.
With that said, any relationship can work if the people want it to.
Maybe it's a mom thing, but I've spent the last 12 years in two separate (but not simultaneous) long term relationships with two separate moms. In one case the father wasn't in the picture at all, in the other, the father was active in the child's life but not living locally.
Everything I said above was a common occurrence between each of those relationships. I won't make the mistake a third time.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
Anebriated
Title: I should be reading a book
Posts:
37,996
Registered:
Jan 27, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 36,373
User ID: 764,038
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
you should probably become her friend, and in a drunken moment, give way and sleep with her. then, secretly fall in love with her while maintaining the facade of a casual relationship. then break up with her when you know your predicament. then sleep with her again.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Anebriated
Title: I should be reading a book
Posts:
37,996
Registered:
Jan 27, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 36,373
User ID: 764,038
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Lynea posted:
Perhaps you should ask what she's looking for?
you're allowed to do that?
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Former_Camilla
Title: Official Team Canada Cheerleader!
Posts:
28,265
Registered:
Mar 11, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,496
User ID: 72,999
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
Maybe it's a mom thing, but I've spent the last 12 years in two separate (but not simultaneous) long term relationships with two separate moms. In one case the father wasn't in the picture at all, in the other, the father was active in the child's life but not living locally.
Everything I said above was a common occurrence between each of those relationships. I won't make the mistake a third time.
It's not a mom or dad thing to me, it's more of a naive mentality thing. For some stupid reason, single parents believe that they should put their children 100% before themselves, no matter what.
Even if their child is being an unruly brat, intentionally trying to ruin their parent's relationship (assuming they are old enough to know) or the parent believes that their child is somehow a hinderance on their relationship even at pre-early stages, the parent believes for some reason that they're in the wrong (take that as you will).
Being a single parent is not the end of the world. People need to get over that.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jezza_Belle
Title: =^.^=
Posts:
62,779
Registered:
Feb 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,759
User ID: 70,100
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
Former_Camilla posted:
Cawlin posted:
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1. This not to say that you have to be #1 all the time, or should expect that in any relationship, but you will ALWAYS be a second consideration beyond the child or children.
Now I know that all parents are going to say "kids always come first!", and of course that's true, but that's not quite what I'm talking about.
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Now, if you're just looking for some fun between the sheets and you're both on the same page about having non-committal sex, sure, go for it! But be aware of the issues with a possible relationship if you try to go that route.
As a single father, I actually had to tell a girl recently (last week actually) that while my child is extremely important to me, I also have needs that need to be met and that sometimes, she isn't "always #1".
Both her and my child will need to learn to adapt to each other.
For me, saying that you're choosing one or the other before knowing what's going on, is a grave and naive mistake.
With that said, any relationship can work if the people want it to.
Maybe it's a mom thing, but I've spent the last 12 years in two separate (but not simultaneous) long term relationships with two separate moms. In one case the father wasn't in the picture at all, in the other, the father was active in the child's life but not living locally.
Everything I said above was a common occurrence between each of those relationships. I won't make the mistake a third time.
If you have no say in raising the children, its because YOU put up the face that you didn't want to be a parent.
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Anebriated posted:
you should probably become her friend, and in a drunken moment, give way and sleep with her. then, secretly fall in love with her while maintaining the facade of a casual relationship. then break up with her when you know your predicament. then sleep with her again.
that's what is going to end up happening tonite i bet.
i'm not worried about being the #2 in the relationship, i'm just not sure being involved with a girl in my circle of friends that has a kid at my age is wise
also its really because i'm not as into her as she's obviously into me. kind of a delicate situation.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Former_Camilla
Title: Official Team Canada Cheerleader!
Posts:
28,265
Registered:
Mar 11, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,496
User ID: 72,999
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-Darkfire- posted:
Anebriated posted:
you should probably become her friend, and in a drunken moment, give way and sleep with her. then, secretly fall in love with her while maintaining the facade of a casual relationship. then break up with her when you know your predicament. then sleep with her again.
that's what is going to end up happening tonite i bet.
i'm not worried about being the #2 in the relationship, i'm just not sure being involved with a girl in my circle of friends that has a kid at my age is wise
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
purplehugmonkey
Posts:
12,787
Registered:
May 16, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 12,662
User ID: 1,049,746
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-Darkfire- posted:
Anebriated posted:
you should probably become her friend, and in a drunken moment, give way and sleep with her. then, secretly fall in love with her while maintaining the facade of a casual relationship. then break up with her when you know your predicament. then sleep with her again.
that's what is going to end up happening tonite i bet.
i'm not worried about being the #2 in the relationship, i'm just not sure being involved with a girl in my circle of friends that has a kid at my age is wise
also its really because i'm not as into her as she's obviously into me. kind of a delicate situation.
This sounds like any other time a chick is too into you and you just want casual stuff, parenthood need not even be considered.
Run away.
-----signature-----
College women are as unstable as free radicals. Thanks college.
-Anebriated
He was a jedi before he was a father and everyone knows how much jedi love to chop off hands.
-Kigaro
|
|
Link to this post
|
aurther-the-leader
Title: Omnipotent Anarchist
Posts:
27,789
Registered:
Aug 1, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,217
User ID: 295,494
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
put it in the backdoor.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Jezza_Belle posted:
If you have no say in raising the children, its because YOU put up the face that you didn't want to be a parent.
LOL yeah right. As the 'step dad' in a relationship like that, moms will give you all the latitude with respect to raising their children that amounts to mirroring what they say, backing what they say, and not telling THEM how to raise THEIR child. If it comes up to a question involving parental authority, the mother will overrule you 19 times out of 20, and all the child(ren) needs to do to overrule you is to run to mom if they don't like what you're saying and then the mom looks at the situation as if it's her and her child(ren) as the "team" and you as part of "the rest of the world". It's a foregone conclusion what the outcome will be once that starts happening.
Now I'm not necessarily vilifying single moms for behaving this way, it's entirely understandable. They've been forsaken by the father of their children in one way or another and their lives are much tougher in almost all cases. It's no wonder they would circle their emotional wagons so to speak and buckle down and deal with life. Again though, breaking the "me and my kid(s)" vs. "the rest of the world" mentality is a rare thing.
Former_Camilla posted:
Cawlin posted:
Maybe it's a mom thing, but I've spent the last 12 years in two separate (but not simultaneous) long term relationships with two separate moms. In one case the father wasn't in the picture at all, in the other, the father was active in the child's life but not living locally.
Everything I said above was a common occurrence between each of those relationships. I won't make the mistake a third time.
It's not a mom or dad thing to me, it's more of a naive mentality thing. For some stupid reason, single parents believe that they should put their children 100% before themselves, no matter what.
Even if their child is being an unruly brat, intentionally trying to ruin their parent's relationship (assuming they are old enough to know) or the parent believes that their child is somehow a hinderance on their relationship even at pre-early stages, the parent believes for some reason that they're in the wrong (take that as you will).
Being a single parent is not the end of the world. People need to get over that.
I agree that it's a naive mentality thing, and it's not just single parents who behave like you describe, but the behavior is exacerbated in my experience when it's a single mom who may be wondering about her own ability to be the kind of parent not just SHE would like to be, but that Dr. Phil and Oprah would like her to be. Single moms especially tend to judge themselves rather harshly in this regard in my experience and overcompensate. That is a tendency in all families where the parents are divorced, but it's especially bad with mothers that I've seen.
As for being a single parent not being the end of the world - sure, I can agree with that, but it's a situation for a non-daddy/mommy adult to be aware of that is unlike being a biological parent would be in an organic family.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
winga
Title: Canadian
Posts:
29,014
Registered:
Apr 27, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 28,668
User ID: 91,955
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
1) Okay, most importantly, pics required.
2) What is the age variance since in your last post it almost sounds like the kid is around your age instead of the single mom.
3) pics?
4) Either get wasted, take her home and wake up in the morning going wtf? What just happened? Why are you in my bed? Or, alternatively, you can simply ask if she's looking for an eff buddy, 1 time, or an actual relationship.
5) Still waiting on pics.
6) I've had the opposite experience of Cawlin. Both long term relationships I've been in where the woman had kids they encouraged me to play an active role in their child(ren)'s life. At the very least didn't hold me back. Neither relationship worked out but it was not the child(ren)'s fault in either case.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Axispipe
Title: Destroyer of Worlds
Posts:
12,181
Registered:
Feb 9, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 11,851
User ID: 643,095
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
wrap your junk or be prepared to spend 18 years with a substantially reduced income.
-----signature-----
MINECRAFT>TF2>AC> DAOC > EVE >HelloKitty>Wow http://www.oldtimersguild.com
|
|
Link to this post
|
Sith_Mauler
Posts:
24,642
Registered:
Dec 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 24,438
User ID: 750,977
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1. This not to say that you have to be #1 all the time, or should expect that in any relationship, but you will ALWAYS be a second consideration beyond the child or children.
Now I know that all parents are going to say "kids always come first!", and of course that's true, but that's not quite what I'm talking about.
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Now, if you're just looking for some fun between the sheets and you're both on the same page about having non-committal sex, sure, go for it! But be aware of the issues with a possible relationship if you try to go that route.
it works the same way for dads, I have lost a couple girlfriends because they saw that I would always put my daughters ahead of them.
-----signature-----
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
I have seen a lot of things in my life time.
That is why I walk the line I walk.
|
|
Link to this post
|
aon_mixed
Title:
Pirate Kitty
Posts:
97,492
Registered:
Aug 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 96,153
User ID: 707,392
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Varece is a single mom, go for it!
-----signature-----
may contain partial nudity
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jezza_Belle
Title: =^.^=
Posts:
62,779
Registered:
Feb 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,759
User ID: 70,100
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
winga posted:
1) Okay, most importantly, pics required.
2) What is the age variance since in your last post it almost sounds like the kid is around your age instead of the single mom.
3) pics?
4) Either get wasted, take her home and wake up in the morning going wtf? What just happened? Why are you in my bed? Or, alternatively, you can simply ask if she's looking for an eff buddy, 1 time, or an actual relationship.
5) Still waiting on pics.
6) I've had the opposite experience of Cawlin. Both long term relationships I've been in where the woman had kids they encouraged me to play an active role in their child(ren)'s life. At the very least didn't hold me back. Neither relationship worked out but it was not the child(ren)'s fault in either case.
I think the deal is that Cawlin couldn't commit to being the step dad, maybe that wasn't his decision, maybe it was. Either way those women didn't trust him to make the right choices overall. I know that in the relationships I've been in, one was committed from the start to be a father figure, and one was not. You can't change things up in the middle, so if you go into a relationship and say you just want to play the uncle, you don't get to change your mind when the kid starts treating you like a doormat.... that was your choice.
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
winga posted:
1) Okay, most importantly, pics required.
2) What is the age variance since in your last post it almost sounds like the kid is around your age instead of the single mom.
3) pics?
4) Either get wasted, take her home and wake up in the morning going wtf? What just happened? Why are you in my bed? Or, alternatively, you can simply ask if she's looking for an eff buddy, 1 time, or an actual relationship.
5) Still waiting on pics.
6) I've had the opposite experience of Cawlin. Both long term relationships I've been in where the woman had kids they encouraged me to play an active role in their child(ren)'s life. At the very least didn't hold me back. Neither relationship worked out but it was not the child(ren)'s fault in either case.
To be clear, it's not as if I have been discouraged from playing an active role in the child's life. Certainly any single mom would love that - take the kid(s) to the park, teach them to ride a bike, play catch, be a babysitter, whatever. When it comes to things like discipline though and the hard parts of being a parent, that's where the roadblocks have come up.
The cynical perspective is that single moms are more than happy to have a babysitter, but they sure as hell don't want you actually having true parental impact on their children.
Don't like the way the kid is acting with their attitude? Say something to the kid as the step dad - mom is on your ass.
Don't like the way the kid is farting around and not doing homework unless the mom sits and goes over every line of every exercise with them? Say something and get mom's wrath.
There are a million little things that go into being a parent that are above and beyond babysitting. Most single moms are happy to have a sitter, and not very open to having a true parent in their non-baby-daddy significant other.
Jezza_Belle posted:
winga posted:
1) Okay, most importantly, pics required.
2) What is the age variance since in your last post it almost sounds like the kid is around your age instead of the single mom.
3) pics?
4) Either get wasted, take her home and wake up in the morning going wtf? What just happened? Why are you in my bed? Or, alternatively, you can simply ask if she's looking for an eff buddy, 1 time, or an actual relationship.
5) Still waiting on pics.
6) I've had the opposite experience of Cawlin. Both long term relationships I've been in where the woman had kids they encouraged me to play an active role in their child(ren)'s life. At the very least didn't hold me back. Neither relationship worked out but it was not the child(ren)'s fault in either case.
I think the deal is that Cawlin couldn't commit to being the step dad, maybe that wasn't his decision, maybe it was. Either way those women didn't trust him to make the right choices overall. I know that in the relationships I've been in, one was committed from the start to be a father figure, and one was not. You can't change things up in the middle, so if you go into a relationship and say you just want to play the uncle, you don't get to change your mind when the kid starts treating you like a doormat.... that was your choice.
This is a pipe dream. NOBODY who has never had kids of their own is ready to start being a step parent from "the beginning". To ask it or even consider it as a possibility is delusional. However, it is a delusion that is propagated by the current popular (dysfunctional) psychology on the matter.
Incidentally, those women wouldn't have trusted ANYONE to make the right decisions, and that was the problem. They sure as hell didn't trust the biological dad to do so either. The bottom line is that most women and parents in general I think, don't trust anyone to make decisions about raising their children other than themselves and MAYBE the other biological parent. Just think for a moment about how many stories about the "wicked"/mean/overbearing stepdad/stepmom there are...
People considering a relationship with a single parent need to be aware of these issues. You can push them off on the perspective step parent all you want, but in the end, the reality is that the vast overwhelming majority of single parents simply will not let someone else parent their child(ren).
Incidentally, it has the potential to get worse when you have a step parent situation and then a situation where the new marriage has a child between mom and what was step-dad.
Case in point: my sister's son's father is a total toolbag. My sis got divorced and remarried - TWICE after. Her second husband after the father of her first child was a fantastic dad - even adopted her son when his father gave up his parental right. My sis and her second husband had a child together. My sis was so used to it being "her and her son" vs. "the world" that when she had this child with her second husband, it actually created problems because she had a hard time letting him be a parent to his own blood daughter.
They're divorced now too lol.
Dating a single parent is not the end of the world, but you need to go into it with eyes open and being aware of all the issues at hand. Most single moms seem happy to have a baby sitter and a companion and someone to help with expenses, but it's exceedingly rare for them to let the companion/babysitter be an actual parent, or even an equal partner in the family.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
zthar
Posts:
8,741
Registered:
Feb 10, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 8,513
User ID: 67,531
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
make sure you have alternative carpool options.
-----signature-----
zthar
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Accident-
Title: Waiting to happen
Posts:
16,541
Registered:
Aug 24, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 16,161
User ID: 41,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
OK here is something I have never quite understood.
If you're a single parent, how the hell do you find the time to date? Between full-time work, caring for the kids, and trying to make sure the house doesn't burn down, where is the spare time/money for dating? Let alone "sleepovers"?
-----signature-----
I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
- NR, #iranelection
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lithium_Power
Title: I want my icon back....
Posts:
8,214
Registered:
Dec 6, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 8,111
User ID: 534,650
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Former_Camilla posted:
i'm just not sure being involved with a girl in my circle of friends that has a kid at my age is wise
He means the chick is the same age as him and she has a kid.
Big flippin deal, she has a kid.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
winga
Title: Canadian
Posts:
29,014
Registered:
Apr 27, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 28,668
User ID: 91,955
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Neither single mom fought me on punishment. I rarely punished them mind you but when I talked sternly they usually realized that I wasn't messing around. My question is, why would it matter if you're not #1 above her child? If she is putting 110% into your relationship with her then the children are not a factor really. Single mom's are a package deal. If you can't handle that then walk away.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Ptilk
Title: Creepy old pirate
Posts:
50,658
Registered:
Feb 13, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,530
User ID: 645,124
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
I can't remember the last time I had sex with a woman who wasn't a single mom. Seriously.
Oh wait....a couple of them weren't single. 
I have to go back about 25 years to find a woman that might not have been a mom, not sure. Never asked her. We didn't talk much.
Crap, what am I thinking? My ex-wife wasn't single when we were married. So 2003.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Caledric
Title: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Posts:
22,743
Registered:
Dec 22, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,691
User ID: 570,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Pretty much lists out the reasons I'm getting divorced. I married a single mom, and she made it a point to constantly remind me that her and her kid did just fine before I came along. I was ALWAYS second in consideration for stuff. The child never actually had to listen to me, despite what mom "claimed." Constantly she would tell me to man up and be a dad, but anytime I did she would ream me for yelling at her child.
If the kid didn't want to do something she just threw a fit till mom got home (My off days are during the week) and then she'd make up some lie that of course mom would believe over me, despite the fact that mom constantly caught her in similar lies while she was home with the kid.
I also got used as a babysitter more often than not, so mom could go out with her friends that she was used to hanging out with before we met. Before I was babysitter she used her mom.
The whole situation has definitely tainted my views on getting married ever again, but I honestly might be willing again someday. I know one thing is for sure though. I will NEVER date a single mom again. Sorry to all you single mom's out there but I'll never trust that any of you are emotionally capable of having a man in your life.
-----signature-----
Planetside 2 -- Outcasters "As One"
Marmot BR 0 (waiting for beta!)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Ptilk
Title: Creepy old pirate
Posts:
50,658
Registered:
Feb 13, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,530
User ID: 645,124
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Good luck finding a woman over the age of 35 who isn't a mom. Hell, over the age of 25 in the south.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Sith_Mauler
Posts:
24,642
Registered:
Dec 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 24,438
User ID: 750,977
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Ptilk posted:
Good luck finding a woman over the age of 35 who isn't a mom. Hell, over the age of 25 in the south.
might want to lower that to 18-19
-----signature-----
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
I have seen a lot of things in my life time.
That is why I walk the line I walk.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Caledric
Title: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Posts:
22,743
Registered:
Dec 22, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,691
User ID: 570,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Ptilk posted:
Good luck finding a woman over the age of 35 who isn't a mom. Hell, over the age of 25 in the south.
I'm gonna be the creepy old guy who only dates women 21-25 (My womens need to be able to drink)
-----signature-----
Planetside 2 -- Outcasters "As One"
Marmot BR 0 (waiting for beta!)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Ptilk
Title: Creepy old pirate
Posts:
50,658
Registered:
Feb 13, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,530
User ID: 645,124
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
LOL
I was trying to be optimistic.
My current girlfriend is a mom. Her kid turns 2 next month.
And I am a creepy old guy. She is in that age range.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lithium_Power
Title: I want my icon back....
Posts:
8,214
Registered:
Dec 6, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 8,111
User ID: 534,650
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
16 in kansas 
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Ducky-
Posts:
19,595
Registered:
Jun 1, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,341
User ID: 143,553
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Sith_Mauler posted:
Ptilk posted:
Good luck finding a woman over the age of 35 who isn't a mom. Hell, over the age of 25 in the south.
might want to lower that to 18-19
Ugh. I feel like a weirdo being 29 with no children around here. 
-----signature-----
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton
|
|
Link to this post
|
Axispipe
Title: Destroyer of Worlds
Posts:
12,181
Registered:
Feb 9, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 11,851
User ID: 643,095
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
not worth it unless you have baggage of your own.
-----signature-----
MINECRAFT>TF2>AC> DAOC > EVE >HelloKitty>Wow http://www.oldtimersguild.com
|
|
Link to this post
|
Dwaveran
Title: Wants to Ban Canada...
Posts:
21,834
Registered:
Jan 23, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,487
User ID: 762,378
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
quote winga "please post pics"
And bag it and hit. duh
-----signature-----
www.deathstarinc.com
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
winga posted:
Neither single mom fought me on punishment. I rarely punished them mind you but when I talked sternly they usually realized that I wasn't messing around. My question is, why would it matter if you're not #1 above her child? If she is putting 110% into your relationship with her then the children are not a factor really. Single mom's are a package deal. If you can't handle that then walk away.
This is a valid question and to be clear, I'm not saying that anyone should expect to be a priority over children, whether they are step children or biological children, but it's in the little things - the day to day things in a relationship that add up to a lot when a relationship settles down into the day to day routine after the initial stage of the new relationship.
You can scoff at the "value" of the "little things" all you want, but in the end, those are the things that carry a relationship and are what separate a marriage/committed relationship from just "dating" or a "friendship".
Caledric posted:
Cawlin posted:
A single mom will likely be of the mindset that it is her and her child(ren) vs. the rest of the world. As the non-daddy male in the picture, you will never REALLY be anything but a part of the "rest of the world".
The mom will second guess you before her child(ren). You will have limited, if any authority when it comes to raising the child(ren), your own personal desires, wishes, and life in general will always be a lower priority than those of the kids and the mom.
Pretty much lists out the reasons I'm getting divorced. I married a single mom, and she made it a point to constantly remind me that her and her kid did just fine before I came along. I was ALWAYS second in consideration for stuff. The child never actually had to listen to me, despite what mom "claimed." Constantly she would tell me to man up and be a dad, but anytime I did she would ream me for yelling at her child.
If the kid didn't want to do something she just threw a fit till mom got home (My off days are during the week) and then she'd make up some lie that of course mom would believe over me, despite the fact that mom constantly caught her in similar lies while she was home with the kid.
I also got used as a babysitter more often than not, so mom could go out with her friends that she was used to hanging out with before we met. Before I was babysitter she used her mom.
The whole situation has definitely tainted my views on getting married ever again, but I honestly might be willing again someday. I know one thing is for sure though. I will NEVER date a single mom again. Sorry to all you single mom's out there but I'll never trust that any of you are emotionally capable of having a man in your life.
Yeah, your wife sounds like my sister lol! She's put her husbands through that crap for as long as I can remember. Fortunately my own personal situations haven't been quite as extreme, but I can definitely hear and recognize the whole catch 22 concept of "man up" and then "don't you tell me how to raise MY kid(s)!" having experienced that myself. That part seems ubiquitous in all of my and all of my friends' experiences with single moms.
The bottom line with single moms is that there are almost certainly trust issues - and with good reason of course - they've been let down at least once already (or they were the a-hole and let someone else down, but either way, there's an issue). So it's understandable. It's annoying to hear them harp on how their new boyfriend should "man up" and be a dad, when the truth is that they don't actually trust you to do so, and wouldn't trust anyone to do so.
As for finding a woman who's not a mom - yes, obviously difficult past age 30 or so, but there's a difference between a mom with a kid under age 12-15 years old and one with a kid 12-15 or older. Sure teenagers are bastards, we were all bastards when we were teenagers, so we know damn well, but moms are generally a bit more relaxed and since the kids are starting to have their own lives, it's usually not so much about the mom being the kids whole life and so the mom can relax a bit and start having her own life again.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
Rhodoman
Posts:
81,876
Registered:
Jun 14, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 80,454
User ID: 154,069
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
Single moms are tough if you're looking for a relationship.
As the man, you will always be #2 or #3 in the relationship. You will never be #1.
This.
Rho
-----signature-----
Rho is correct. - Varece
Venit hiems quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
|
|
Link to this post
|
winga
Title: Canadian
Posts:
29,014
Registered:
Apr 27, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 28,668
User ID: 91,955
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
winga posted:
Neither single mom fought me on punishment. I rarely punished them mind you but when I talked sternly they usually realized that I wasn't messing around. My question is, why would it matter if you're not #1 above her child? If she is putting 110% into your relationship with her then the children are not a factor really. Single mom's are a package deal. If you can't handle that then walk away.
This is a valid question and to be clear, I'm not saying that anyone should expect to be a priority over children, whether they are step children or biological children, but it's in the little things - the day to day things in a relationship that add up to a lot when a relationship settles down into the day to day routine after the initial stage of the new relationship.
You can scoff at the "value" of the "little things" all you want, but in the end, those are the things that carry a relationship and are what separate a marriage/committed relationship from just "dating" or a "friendship".
I agree on that. My last relationship suffered for that because her son seemed to care more about me than she did... (That wasn't the sole issue but still.) Little things add up. Unfortunately it wasn't just little things that caused the break.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Itab
Title: I <3 Cookies
Posts:
10,896
Registered:
Feb 20, '06
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,650
User ID: 1,119,910
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Its tough dating when you have kids. I've been turned down by girls that I sincerely wanted to date because I'm a single dad. I havev50/50 custody so I have time and want a relationship. It sucks.
-----signature-----
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it likea bong hit. --- cumbat_mage_sc Kasta Magier says, "SLEEP IN HELL NINJA BASTARDS" http://i25.tinypic.com/24b6u5v.jpg
|
|
Link to this post
|
Gaevren
Title: Wat do?
Posts:
18,183
Registered:
Sep 15, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,906
User ID: 967,012
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
You're picking the wrong kind of girls, is the problem.
This also isn't just an issue among single moms/dads. A lot of parents, moms especially, feel that when they have children that the kids immediately become the #1 in the relationship. It can cause a whole lot of strife in a marriage, especially if one spouse is neglecting the other because of the kids. The spouse should always be the most important in the relationship, and self needs should not be neglected either. That's not to say the kids should be neglected because the parents want to do their own selfish things all the time- it just means there is a balance that needs to be struck. And of course when you're talking about infants that are totally dependent, a lot less time is spent on the relationship between the parents and much more energy is focused on the child- but as they get older, even a few months, a balance needs to be struck and parents have to take a break and focus on what they need too, or you just get burned out and resentful.
I think with the single mom thing a lot also depends on why she is single. You would just really have to tread carefully, because yeah a lot of them (and not just moms, dads too) will have baggage that will be totally detrimental to a healthy relationship with someone else.
-----signature-----
There are no automatic doors, just very polite ninjas
|
|
Link to this post
|
Fozzie_Bear
Posts:
48,479
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 47,515
User ID: 558,887
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
I wouldn't hook up with a single mom unless you were fairly mature.
-----signature-----
The Oatmeal Butterscotch paired with a Snickerdoodle
turned my cynical penis into a happy vagina
Then after an Oatmeal Cranberry and Double Chocolate,
it made my new vagina spontaneously sing the Trolololo Song in an elevator.
---AkagiyamaMissile
|
|
Link to this post
|
jonus156
Posts:
10,613
Registered:
Oct 12, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,418
User ID: 1,084,426
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Started dateing single mom 7 years ago she is now my wife and the mother of my 3 kids (the first one is from a different father but she is still mine)
-----signature-----
This thread begs the question: do the "women" of ACF use a funnel to get that much sand in their vagina or do they just slide around the beach like an angry Roomba? -deadcactus-
"I could go for some cock"--cute_but_stupid
|
|
Link to this post
|
Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
jonus156 posted:
Started dateing single mom 7 years ago she is now my wife and the mother of my 3 kids (the first one is from a different father but she is still mine)
Good for you man! Seriously, congratulations, I'm glad your family is working out for you.
Just a general note: I'm not trying to say that getting involved with a single parent is a guaranteed loser prospect for a relationship, just that it will be difficult and that expectations are not always realistic from both parties. People need to be aware of the difficulties and BOTH parties need to be realistic with their own expectations.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lanacan
Title: Random, Crazy, Mental....
Posts:
23,360
Registered:
Feb 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,026
User ID: 647,740
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
At this point in my life if I was single again I would date a single Mom, but I know it would not be to get remarried again.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Gaevren
Title: Wat do?
Posts:
18,183
Registered:
Sep 15, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,906
User ID: 967,012
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
jonus156 posted:
Started dateing single mom 7 years ago she is now my wife and the mother of my 3 kids (the first one is from a different father but she is still mine)
Good for you man! Seriously, congratulations, I'm glad your family is working out for you.
Just a general note: I'm not trying to say that getting involved with a single parent is a guaranteed loser prospect for a relationship, just that it will be difficult and that expectations are not always realistic from both parties. People need to be aware of the difficulties and BOTH parties need to be realistic with their own expectations.
Indeed.
-----signature-----
There are no automatic doors, just very polite ninjas
|
|
Link to this post
|
JD_HOGG
Posts:
19,975
Registered:
Mar 18, '08
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,893
User ID: 1,285,011
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
I would say go for it. Chances are she learned her lesson and won't get preggers again, so you can get the hoochie and play dad throwing the baseball around if you want, without the child support obligation.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts:
85,900
Registered:
Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Lanacan posted:
At this point in my life if I was single again I would date a single Mom, but I know it would not be to get remarried again.
He didn't say 'date', he said 'hook up'. There's a BIG difference.
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jorrdan
Posts:
6,485
Registered:
Oct 19, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 6,432
User ID: 470,257
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
I think there is a lot of generalizing about single mothers here based on personal experience. It really just comes down to the woman. Some of them are going to have trust issues and may not "allow" you to be a complete parent and some of them will be fine.
My brother, for example, is now living with a single mother (and has since had his own child with her). I have never once witnessed the kind of behavior described here when he disciplines her child from her previous relationship (even before they had their own child). He is more of the authority figure in the household than she is and, in fact, she often requests that [role] from him. And, trust me, I really can't stand her and would have noticed if she harangued him for that because she certainly does for other things! That is one thing, I suppose, I can give her credit for.
-----signature-----
Eh.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jorrdan
Posts:
6,485
Registered:
Oct 19, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 6,432
User ID: 470,257
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Gaevren posted:
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
Yep. Have to agree.
-----signature-----
Eh.
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
i think a lot of people are missing the fact that i don't want to be involved because of the kid, i don't like kids and i don't want kids. i also don't want to be the dude that hooks up with mommy and gives the kid severe issues for the rest of its life for banging mommy every weekend. as well as her being in the circle of friends and us carpooling to class together a few times a week - if it goes wrong everything is gonna suck. i pretty much have to find a way to make her stop liking me.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Tipztoe
Posts:
26,665
Registered:
Mar 1, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,788
User ID: 900,300
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-Darkfire- posted:
i think a lot of people are missing the fact that i don't want to be involved because of the kid, i don't like kids and i don't want kids. i also don't want to be the dude that hooks up with mommy and gives the kid severe issues for the rest of its life for banging mommy every weekend. as well as her being in the circle of friends and us carpooling to class together a few times a week - if it goes wrong everything is gonna suck. i pretty much have to find a way to make her stop liking me.
then you answered your own question.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
well, yes and no. i mean i like her - but i don't know how much i like her, and the kid is a big factor in it. i'm not sure what i should do in the situation which is why i was looking for different input.
its sort of like jerry maguire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW95YIpC6Rw
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Lanacan
Title: Random, Crazy, Mental....
Posts:
23,360
Registered:
Feb 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,026
User ID: 647,740
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Dark_EternalFF posted:
Lanacan posted:
At this point in my life if I was single again I would date a single Mom, but I know it would not be to get remarried again.
He didn't say 'date', he said 'hook up'. There's a BIG difference.
I guess... Lol
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Immortal_Haze
Posts:
16,105
Registered:
Jan 31, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 15,927
User ID: 639,213
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Here's the deal - if you just want to hook up with a single mom, make sure the single mom is in her 30s. At that point, they get it...they can take care of themselves, they are more likely to be ok just hooking up, and they play less games. Women under the age of 30 are scared because they're single, young, and have a kid. The sky is falling and they'll never be able to travel to Europe or live in a nice big house unless they latch on to a guy, blah blah. Quite honestly, they GENERALLY don't have their sh** together yet.
Now the ladies in their 30s will occasionally toss the relationship card in if you've been tossing the lumber pretty well or if you're pretty awesome, but they understand the situation. The ladies in their 20s will burn your car, call you 200 times when you don't answer one text, and generally stalk you after the 3rd time you've knocked it out.
*Disclaimer - the above is in general. I'm sure you're a special flower and are the exception.
-----signature-----
"Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them." FDR
|
|
Link to this post
|
Caledric
Title: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Posts:
22,743
Registered:
Dec 22, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,691
User ID: 570,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Gaevren posted:
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
Heh you just described my soon to be ex again. She went out every weekend to party with her friends when I was on the daytime shift. The one time I would suggested she stay in while I go out for drinks with friends, or have her mom watch the kid while WE went out... the profanity hit the fan.
-----signature-----
Planetside 2 -- Outcasters "As One"
Marmot BR 0 (waiting for beta!)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Gaevren
Title: Wat do?
Posts:
18,183
Registered:
Sep 15, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 17,906
User ID: 967,012
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Caledric posted:
Gaevren posted:
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
Heh you just described my soon to be ex again. She went out every weekend to party with her friends when I was on the daytime shift. The one time I would suggested she stay in while I go out for drinks with friends, or have her mom watch the kid while WE went out... the profanity hit the fan.
That is the suck
-----signature-----
There are no automatic doors, just very polite ninjas
|
|
Link to this post
|
.Sylva.
Title: The Beer Fairy
Posts:
24,491
Registered:
Apr 8, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,712
User ID: 85,621
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
Gaevy and IH speak wise, wise words.
-----signature-----
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Elitist.
|
|
Link to this post
|
winga
Title: Canadian
Posts:
29,014
Registered:
Apr 27, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 28,668
User ID: 91,955
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Immortal_Haze posted:
Here's the deal - if you just want to hook up with a single mom, make sure the single mom is in her 30s. At that point, they get it...they can take care of themselves, they are more likely to be ok just hooking up, and they play less games. Women under the age of 30 are scared because they're single, young, and have a kid. The sky is falling and they'll never be able to travel to Europe or live in a nice big house unless they latch on to a guy, blah blah. Quite honestly, they GENERALLY don't have their sh** together yet.
Now the ladies in their 30s will occasionally toss the relationship card in if you've been tossing the lumber pretty well or if you're pretty awesome, but they understand the situation. The ladies in their 20s will burn your car, call you 200 times when you don't answer one text, and generally stalk you after the 3rd time you've knocked it out.
*Disclaimer - the above is in general. I'm sure you're a special flower and are the exception.
My ex was in her 20's and ... she doesn't fit your description in terms of afraid of doing things... *shrug* Now closer to 30, to my knowledge, is less like the 30+ type.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Mangler_SC
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts:
62,003
Registered:
Dec 2, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Mom's are preferred over women without kids.
-----signature-----
. Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear. -Bou_Te . Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE 
|
|
Link to this post
|
Immortal_Haze
Posts:
16,105
Registered:
Jan 31, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 15,927
User ID: 639,213
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
winga posted:
My ex was in her 20's and ... she doesn't fit your description in terms of afraid of doing things... *shrug* Now closer to 30, to my knowledge, is less like the 30+ type.
Immortal_Haze posted:
*Disclaimer - the above is in general. I'm sure you're a special flower and are the exception.
-----signature-----
"Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them." FDR
|
|
Link to this post
|
Caledric
Title: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Posts:
22,743
Registered:
Dec 22, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,691
User ID: 570,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Gaevren posted:
Caledric posted:
Gaevren posted:
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
Heh you just described my soon to be ex again. She went out every weekend to party with her friends when I was on the daytime shift. The one time I would suggested she stay in while I go out for drinks with friends, or have her mom watch the kid while WE went out... the profanity hit the fan.
That is the suck
yup it is the suck, and sadly its tarnished me against single moms. I will never be able to trust one again, and therefore never date one again. I'm at the point in my life where I want a family and to settle down. I don't need the drama cause she got knocked up straight out of high school and now wants to live the "college girl" life.
-----signature-----
Planetside 2 -- Outcasters "As One"
Marmot BR 0 (waiting for beta!)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jezza_Belle
Title: =^.^=
Posts:
62,779
Registered:
Feb 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,759
User ID: 70,100
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Ptilk posted:
LOL
I was trying to be optimistic.
My current girlfriend is a mom. Her kid turns 2 next month.
And I am a creepy old guy. She is in that age range.
You have any idea how hard it is to find a guy in the 30-40 range without kids and doesn't want any?
I don't want to end up raising some guy's kids for him... my kids are grown, I did my time. Now I want to have fun. Alternately, deadbeat dads can go eff themselves IMO.
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
|
|
Link to this post
|
Sgian_Dubh
Posts:
10,339
Registered:
Apr 7, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,142
User ID: 788,270
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Cawlin posted:
blah, blah, blah i'm an authority on parenting, despite the lack of children.
-----signature-----
"You'll rue the day you crossed me Trebek!"
|
|
Link to this post
|
Caledric
Title: Pew! Pew! Pew!
Posts:
22,743
Registered:
Dec 22, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,691
User ID: 570,169
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Sgian_Dubh posted:
Cawlin posted:
blah, blah, blah i'm an authority on parenting, despite the lack of children.
Hi Arch!
-----signature-----
Planetside 2 -- Outcasters "As One"
Marmot BR 0 (waiting for beta!)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Ferrydust
Title: Iron Chef Jennifer
Posts:
10,588
Registered:
Sep 4, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,382
User ID: 711,372
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Wait. You are worried about her getting pregnant? You can actually take control of your own destiny in this matter.
-----signature-----
I, on the other hand, prefer a command-line system 'cause i'm so hardcore
/north /north *You encounter an [Avatar of the god Set]!*
/cast sheild *sheild spell unavailable*
/csat shield *csat: unknown command*
*[Avatar of Set] beheads [Peasant]*
|
|
Link to this post
|
Dark_EternalFF
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts:
85,900
Registered:
Nov 8, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 84,100
User ID: 736,311
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
Gaevren posted:
The single moms who pull this kind of crap are the same kind of girls who would insist on being able to "go out for a girls night out" but would bitch at their boyfriends for having a "guys night out".
Had an ex like that. Ditched her and fked her best friend.
That learned the bitch.
-----signature-----
Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR) "We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!" DE/Mr Pants 2012
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Darkfire-
Posts:
28,927
Registered:
Apr 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 27,982
User ID: 670,830
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
just got back from hooking up with her. it went well, she didn't say anything about a relationship or telling all of her friends. hopefully things aren't too awkward on monday when we ride to class together and end up banging in the bathroom.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jezza_Belle
Title: =^.^=
Posts:
62,779
Registered:
Feb 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,759
User ID: 70,100
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-Darkfire- posted:
just got back from hooking up with her. it went well, she didn't say anything about a relationship or telling all of her friends. hopefully things aren't too awkward on monday when we ride to class together and end up banging in the bathroom.
LOL, you just assume that's all she's after? IDIOT
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
|
|
Link to this post
|
Sith_Mauler
Posts:
24,642
Registered:
Dec 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 24,438
User ID: 750,977
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-----signature-----
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
I have seen a lot of things in my life time.
That is why I walk the line I walk.
|
|
Link to this post
|
aon_mixed
Title:
Pirate Kitty
Posts:
97,492
Registered:
Aug 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 96,153
User ID: 707,392
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
did you take the dirt road?
-----signature-----
may contain partial nudity
|
|
Link to this post
|
-Mithan-
Title: VNBoard Admin
Posts:
1,000,060,379
Registered:
Mar 1, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 56,880
User ID: 13,156
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
-Darkfire- posted:
so this chick is into me, but i can't get over the single mom thing. is it worth hooking up with her? i'm assuming she's probably going to want a relationship whereas i don't want anything serious right now. also we carpool to class a couple times a week to save gas, and we're in the same circle of friends. so i'm afraid it will complicate things.
thoughts?
I would be very, very careful. Now I know a lot of single mom's read this forum but even they have to admit that bringing their "baggage" (hate that expression) to a relationship with a guy can be a lot.
-----signature-----
I survived to the end and got nothing out of it, but hey.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Sith_Mauler
Posts:
24,642
Registered:
Dec 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 24,438
User ID: 750,977
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
aon_mixed posted:
did you take the dirt road?
and play in the mud holes?
-----signature-----
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
I have seen a lot of things in my life time.
That is why I walk the line I walk.
|
|
Link to this post
|
TheNinthSeal
Posts:
185
Registered:
Feb 21, '12
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 185
User ID: 1,438,808
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
I totally agree with Jezza in this. But I am a single father, so I know how to deal with kids.
But if the mom does a good job keeping the kid in line, I don't see why you would need to disagree with them. Sounds like dude keeps hooking up with crappy moms. I am dating a single mother and she is on the ball. I am not trying to replace their father, obviously, but I am assuming the father role. She sets boundaries for her kids clearly, so I don't feel the slightest bit weird enforcing them, I just dont need to. She's on it.
I guess I could imagine a situation in which one kid is hitting the other and you tell them to stop and the mom says its fine I would disagree with her and assert my authority, but that sounds like a crappy mom anyways. Other than that I can't see ANY situation where I would need to disagree with her about how to raise her kids. It's none of my business if she raises them religious, I will always voice my opinions, and if they are racist, I will tell them they are dumbasses right in front of the mom, I just cant see why I would have to. If you really like someone as a girlfriend she should be what you consider a 'good person,' which makes the need to tailor her kids behavior disappear, because being a good person translates to child rearing and interactions.
If she lets them break their toys, I wont buy them new toys if one I got them gets smashed, and they certainly dont get to be crazy around my stuff. but I really honestly cannot think of why you are correcting someone so often on their parenting you can give the figure 19 out of 20 if you honestly considered her a good person.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Aethelgrin
Posts:
11,938
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 11,717
User ID: 563,732
|
Subject:
hooking up with a single mom?
|
|
So...what you're saying is stay away from children in any way possible? Gotcha.
-----signature-----
"It's not your welcome. You don't have a welcome. It's, "you are welcome." - Malik_Gynax
"My welcome! MINE!!" - .Sylva.
"I thought men had belly buttons and women had vagina's instead" - Element_X
|
|
Link to this post
|
