Author Topic: Dear Sweden
cobane 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
We already made this movie. It was called Kingdom of Heaven.

The lead actor is so bad he makes Orlando Bloom look like Laurence Olivier.

Also, I was amused to see that guy from The Dragon Tattoo movies in there. You guys have a new actor now! MOVE OVER VON SYDOW!! WATCH OUT SKARSGARD!!

 

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__Bonk__ 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
I hope Orlando Bloom never makes any more movies. Cant believe a great director like Ridley Scott would hire him for a movie

grin

 

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tenkly 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN WAS AWESOME !!

 

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__Bonk__ 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
laugh

 

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Manegarm 
Title: European Imperialist Good Guy
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Subject: Dear Sweden
cobane posted:
We already made this movie. It was called Kingdom of Heaven.

The lead actor is so bad he makes Orlando Bloom look like Laurence Olivier.

Also, I was amused to see that guy from The Dragon Tattoo movies in there. You guys have a new actor now! MOVE OVER VON SYDOW!! WATCH OUT SKARSGARD!!


Built upon the semi-historical books by Jan Guilo (sp?)

I have not read the books or seen the movie.. was it anything worth watching?

 

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Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
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cobane 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
It basically feels like a low-rent made-for-TV version of Kingdom of Heaven. It takes place during the same time, but instead of a French blacksmith going to the Holy Land it's a Swedish monk. They encounter many of the same characters... the most hilarious of which is Guy de Lusignan, who in Arn looks like a poor man's Martin Czokas (who played Guy in Kingdom of Heaven), who is himself a poor man's Rufus Sewell. The guy they got to play Saladin looks like a gay fashion model, not a leader of men. Its story covers a lot of ground, but most of it is riddled with boring cliche and flat-out bad acting.

There are so many story elements that are similar that it wouldn't surprise me if Ridley Scott totally ripped off the book Arn's based on, but he definitely did it better than these Scandinavian knuckleheads. IMDB says Arn is Sweden's most expensive movie production ever, which, if true, is very disappointing. You fuckers need to pour a longboat full of cash into a definitive viking movie. This could've been good if they had cut out the crusader bits and kept it entirely in Sweden. Most of that stuff feels better developed... it's only when the guy heads off to Jerusalem that it starts feeling like a KoH knockoff.

 

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Manegarm 
Title: European Imperialist Good Guy
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Subject: Dear Sweden
cobane posted:
It basically feels like a low-rent made-for-TV version of Kingdom of Heaven. It takes place during the same time, but instead of a French blacksmith going to the Holy Land it's a Swedish monk. They encounter many of the same characters... the most hilarious of which is Guy de Lusignan, who in Arn looks like a poor man's Martin Czokas (who played Guy in Kingdom of Heaven), who is himself a poor man's Rufus Sewell. The guy they got to play Saladin looks like a gay fashion model, not a leader of men. Its story covers a lot of ground, but most of it is riddled with boring cliche and flat-out bad acting.

There are so many story elements that are similar that it wouldn't surprise me if Ridley Scott totally ripped off the book Arn's based on, but he definitely did it better than these Scandinavian knuckleheads. IMDB says Arn is Sweden's most expensive movie production ever, which, if true, is very disappointing. You fuckers need to pour a longboat full of cash into a definitive viking movie. This could've been good if they had cut out the crusader bits and kept it entirely in Sweden. Most of that stuff feels better developed... it's only when the guy heads off to Jerusalem that it starts feeling like a KoH knockoff.


We should scrap the local movie industry they never produce ANYTHING original or good.. They did a passable job with the Steig Larsson books, other then that ZERO f'kin skill.

I mean the Norwegians has Troll Hunter and Död snö which were both cool, Finland has now produced Iron Sky which is basically going to be the most awesome movie ever.. Problem with Sweden is that the ghost of that geriatric cunt Bergman still resides everyone is trying to be so god damn serious and melancholic to the point where the only thing that is really produced is shitty f'kin straight to tv cop movies starring the asshole who will play the main Orc in The Hobbit. Oh they also produce awkward romantic comedies that has the same amount of originality as the Scary Movie series, and about half as funny.

So yes f'k the Swedish movie industry, sell it for scrap and invest the money into something worth while like a huge f'kin middle finger that we station at the shore in the south so that the Danes wakes up every morning to Sweden giving them the bird.

Thing is Swedes are generally really shitty at artsy stuff, we're really good at designing products that has a practical use like cars, furniture, clothes etc but tell a Swede that he should spend his life painting or creating movies or something abstract, he will look at you strangely and ask where the hell the money and productivity is in that, we're a nation of practicality.

 

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Europa Eternita!
"Damn, Manegarm; you are HAWT!! " - Taolynn
"To the everlasting glory of the infantry, Shines the name Shines the name of Rodger Young"
ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!
Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
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Kordirn 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
Manegarm posted:
cobane posted:
It basically feels like a low-rent made-for-TV version of Kingdom of Heaven. It takes place during the same time, but instead of a French blacksmith going to the Holy Land it's a Swedish monk. They encounter many of the same characters... the most hilarious of which is Guy de Lusignan, who in Arn looks like a poor man's Martin Czokas (who played Guy in Kingdom of Heaven), who is himself a poor man's Rufus Sewell. The guy they got to play Saladin looks like a gay fashion model, not a leader of men. Its story covers a lot of ground, but most of it is riddled with boring cliche and flat-out bad acting.

There are so many story elements that are similar that it wouldn't surprise me if Ridley Scott totally ripped off the book Arn's based on, but he definitely did it better than these Scandinavian knuckleheads. IMDB says Arn is Sweden's most expensive movie production ever, which, if true, is very disappointing. You fuckers need to pour a longboat full of cash into a definitive viking movie. This could've been good if they had cut out the crusader bits and kept it entirely in Sweden. Most of that stuff feels better developed... it's only when the guy heads off to Jerusalem that it starts feeling like a KoH knockoff.


We should scrap the local movie industry they never produce ANYTHING original or good.. They did a passable job with the Steig Larsson books, other then that ZERO f'kin skill.

I mean the Norwegians has Troll Hunter and Död snö which were both cool, Finland has now produced Iron Sky which is basically going to be the most awesome movie ever.. Problem with Sweden is that the ghost of that geriatric cunt Bergman still resides everyone is trying to be so god damn serious and melancholic to the point where the only thing that is really produced is shitty f'kin straight to tv cop movies starring the asshole who will play the main Orc in The Hobbit. Oh they also produce awkward romantic comedies that has the same amount of originality as the Scary Movie series, and about half as funny.

So yes f'k the Swedish movie industry, sell it for scrap and invest the money into something worth while like a huge f'kin middle finger that we station at the shore in the south so that the Danes wakes up every morning to Sweden giving them the bird.

Thing is Swedes are generally really shitty at artsy stuff, we're really good at designing products that has a practical use like cars, furniture, clothes etc but tell a Swede that he should spend his life painting or creating movies or something abstract, he will look at you strangely and ask where the hell the money and productivity is in that, we're a nation of practicality.




Didn't you swedes do a good job with the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?

 

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Testerion 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
Movies based on Stieg Larssons books are all good

 

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bstulic 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139797/

 

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RHWarrior 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
(skipped to the end óf the thread;)
cobane posted:
We already made this movie. It was called Kingdom of Heaven.

The lead actor is so bad he makes Orlando Bloom look like Laurence Olivier.

Also, I was amused to see that guy from The Dragon Tattoo movies in there. You guys have a new actor now! MOVE OVER VON SYDOW!! WATCH OUT SKARSGARD!!


1. Arn is based on three books by swedish author Jan Guillou, what "kingdom of heaven" is based on - I have no idea, haven't seen it. Of course Arn attempts being to be pseudo-historical - I doubt few stories based on the crusades would be fundamentally different on the main topics.

2. It was originally two flicks re-edited into 1 to suit Amercan tastes (less dialogue and drama, more action). If you think the US release was slow paced you shoullda seen those two, film 1 mainly focused on the love story between Arn and Cecilia and not much else, only in flick 2 did he travel to Jerusalem.
(I got some input on this as the post production/pregrade company re-editing Arn for foreign releases was one of my clients at the time.)

3. Swedish film industry is kinda meh more than not, mind you the budgets are 5% of what Hollywood flicks are based on, and Hollywood tends to suck up alot of talent from all over the world, where else can you make shitoads of cash if you do make it? There are problems here for sure, mass marketed flicks are tricky beasts.

In conclusion: Conformist and dumbed down Hollywood can suck it, and so can the swedish film industry.
It's a catch 22 to get the plebs to go out of their confort zones and ask for stimulation and something new, whether it be script, cinematography, editing, actors, any effects, length, you name it.

 

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Thugoneous 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
I think we will send another Green Lantern movie to show our displeasure.

 

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Manegarm 
Title: European Imperialist Good Guy
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Subject: Dear Sweden
Colin Nutley needs to be sealed inside a oil drum filled with shit and launched into the sun! angry

 

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Europa Eternita!
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"To the everlasting glory of the infantry, Shines the name Shines the name of Rodger Young"
ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!
Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
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cobane 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
RHWarrior posted:
1. Arn is based on three books by swedish author Jan Guillou, what "kingdom of heaven" is based on - I have no idea, haven't seen it. Of course Arn attempts being to be pseudo-historical - I doubt few stories based on the crusades would be fundamentally different on the main topics.

2. It was originally two flicks re-edited into 1 to suit Amercan tastes (less dialogue and drama, more action). If you think the US release was slow paced you shoullda seen those two, film 1 mainly focused on the love story between Arn and Cecilia and not much else, only in flick 2 did he travel to Jerusalem.
(I got some input on this as the post production/pregrade company re-editing Arn for foreign releases was one of my clients at the time.)

3. Swedish film industry is kinda meh more than not, mind you the budgets are 5% of what Hollywood flicks are based on, and Hollywood tends to suck up alot of talent from all over the world, where else can you make shitoads of cash if you do make it? There are problems here for sure, mass marketed flicks are tricky beasts.

In conclusion: Conformist and dumbed down Hollywood can suck it, and so can the swedish film industry.
It's a catch 22 to get the plebs to go out of their confort zones and ask for stimulation and something new, whether it be script, cinematography, editing, actors, any effects, length, you name it.


I found Arn on Netflix and looked it up on IMDB to see if it was worth watching. Found people talking about how two Arn movies had been edited down into one so I went looking for the full versions (which are not available in the US) and watched them instead. I'm pretty sure he hits up Jerusalem before the end of the first movie. The last 30 minutes or so are set there. Easily the weakest part of the ... duology? The sets looked great though, and it's obvious they did all they could with what they had, but... there are better Swedish actors out there than whoever they got to play Arn. They got Stellan Skarsgard in there, why not bring his kid from True Blood?

Interesting note: these movies were directed by a Dane.

 

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RHWarrior 
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Subject: Dear Sweden
cobane posted:


I found Arn on Netflix and looked it up on IMDB to see if it was worth watching. Found people talking about how two Arn movies had been edited down into one so I went looking for the full versions (which are not available in the US) and watched them instead. I'm pretty sure he hits up Jerusalem before the end of the first movie. The last 30 minutes or so are set there. Easily the weakest part of the ... duology? The sets looked great though, and it's obvious they did all they could with what they had, but... there are better Swedish actors out there than whoever they got to play Arn. They got Stellan Skarsgard in there, why not bring his kid from True Blood?

Interesting note: these movies were directed by a Dane.


I'm sure, I don't recall all details!

I give the flicks about 3/5 just cause they are Swedish, but honestly I don't think they came together all that well and nothing I would watch again anytime soon, unless for social reasons. (chicks seem to dig it more; I guess the troubled knight character is "sexy")

Maybe next time I'll do it the other way around and watch the single film international edit to save me some time. wink

Or hell I'll read the books instead, taking up reading again in some capacity and seem to enjoy it more now than flicks.

peace

 

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