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Boards Archive] |
Welcome to the Vault Network
forum archive.
This is not a complete archive, time didn't allot us the
opportunity to properly backup the majority of the boards
deemed "expendable". Most boards on this list have at least
20-40 pages archived (non-logged in pages, 15 topics per
page).
Popular boards may have as many as 250 pages archived at 50
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we've done what we could to preserve some of its history in
lieu of that.
Please enjoy the archive.
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Managers, Moderators, VIP's, and regular posters.
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Topic: Need advice
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
7,090
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Aug 1, '08
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Real Post Cnt: 7,015
User ID: 1,312,136
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Subject:
Need advice
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We have a major household crisis, my daughter got a Valentine's day basket from a boy and my German Sheppard chewed the whole thing up, how can daddy fix this? Most of the time she is the family dog, tonight she is all mine, we are really in the doghouse.
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Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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Allstarslacker
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Subject:
Need advice
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How old is she?
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
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Subject:
Need advice
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She is 15, the world has come to an end.
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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Allstarslacker
Posts:
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User ID: 1,140,793
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Subject:
Need advice
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Hmmmm.
Your best chance is to wait a day or two to see if the boy makes it better.
If he drops the ball pay for them to go out on a little date or something.
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Thugoneous
Title: Watching Caliente, BRB.
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Subject:
Need advice
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She's fifteen. You tell the family she's an old girl and deserves to destroy random things. Honestly they're privileged to have her around to do so.
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Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
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Moe_Nox
Title: In Moe We Trust
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Subject:
Need advice
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15 is a horrible age for this. You prolly won't resort to wooden stakes and holy water because she is your daughter. hhmm.
Slip the kid some money without her knowing it. Invite him over and profusely apologize to him about the chewing with her present.
Have him deftly accept your apology and tell you no harm done, that he will take her out for a fantastic evening to make up for the incident (with your money).
They will prolly have sex, so give him some condoms.
-----signature-----
The Nanny State cometh Currency should be bacon cheeseburgers and blow jobs... - Reese Life at the Outpost: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
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ZartanAround
Title: Torpid Curmudgeon
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Subject:
Need advice
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eat the dog for dinner and have sex with her boyfriend.
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what are nice chickens like you doing in a coop like this?
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
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User ID: 1,312,136
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Subject:
Need advice
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My daughter told a friend and they decided to get a bunch of people, including this boy coincidentally, together to go for pizza. My daughter asked if she could go, she isn't allowed to go out like this on school night. I figured what the hell, I already violated my rule that she wouldn't be allowed to date until she was married so I let her know this was a special occasion, it also leaves my wife and I alone on Valentine's day for a couple of hours.
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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eodoll
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Subject:
Need advice
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Is it that bad? Its a dog, dogs do stupid things sometimes.
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
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User ID: 1,312,136
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Subject:
Need advice
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I wonder if the dog picked up on an over protective fathers vibes?
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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Abaddon_Ambrosius
Title: Retired Theurgist TL
Posts:
25,187
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Dec 21, '01
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Subject:
Need advice
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Bonzoboy1 posted:
Need advice
Here's my best advice:
Don't come to the Outpost for advice.
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In the immortal words of Socrates - "I drank what?"
"God you guys suck at the internet - how can you fail to locate porn?!" - Eternal_Midnight
"Knowing means nothing." - Fat-badger
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
7,090
Registered:
Aug 1, '08
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Real Post Cnt: 7,015
User ID: 1,312,136
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Subject:
Need advice
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Abaddon_Ambrosius posted:
Don't come to the Outpost for advice.
You have never seen how badly I can screw things up, besides just because I ask for advice doesn't mean I have to take it.
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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vn_nnanji
Title: Outpost Music Expert
Posts:
71,647
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Jun 30, '01
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Real Post Cnt: 62,027
User ID: 212,537
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Subject:
Need advice
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Show the kid the basket and tell him if he ever touches your daughter you are letting Cujo bite his nads off.
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illmyrin
Posts:
16,612
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Dec 25, '01
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User ID: 574,488
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Subject:
Need advice
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Bonzoboy1 posted:
We have a major household crisis, my daughter got a Valentine's day basket from a boy and my German Sheppard chewed the whole thing up, how can daddy fix this? Most of the time she is the family dog, tonight she is all mine, we are really in the doghouse.
Hey buddy. I'd suggest you contact the boy, ask if you and he could go shopping to recreate the basket on your dime, have a fun chat or two with him 
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Hold up your opinions and I'll tell you which one is my favorit.
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cobane
Posts:
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Sep 6, '01
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User ID: 376,035
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Subject:
Need advice
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What would happen if this kid somehow accidentally got tied to one of your rocket experiments?
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"See that the men are thoroughly insulated, for we shall encounter extreme cold." - Dr. Zarkov
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sweeny_comodore
Posts:
9,066
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Aug 23, '07
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User ID: 1,248,480
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Subject:
Need advice
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15 is legal is a couple states.
send me a pic and her phone number along with which state you live in.
ill help her get through this.
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Jesus? No, but there is indeed a god shaped hole in the heart of man, why is yours so empty? -- snarf igraine the original monotheism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus
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armoredgimp
Posts:
2,044
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Nov 11, '02
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User ID: 737,121
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Subject:
Need advice
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Moe_Nox posted:
15 is a horrible age for this. You prolly won't resort to wooden stakes and holy water because she is your daughter. hhmm.
Slip the kid some money without her knowing it. Invite him over and profusely apologize to him about the chewing with her present.
Have him deftly accept your apology and tell you no harm done, that he will take her out for a fantastic evening to make up for the incident (with your money).
They will prolly have sex, so give him some condoms.
haha this
-----signature-----
Jocee, Elliott
Welcome to the internet. Where men are men, women are men, & little boys are FBI agents.
It was not the intent of this post to annoy anyone, anyone who was annoyed by this post assumes full responsibility for their annoyance
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__Bonk__
Posts:
53,947
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User ID: 1,364,654
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Subject:
Need advice
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PWNED!
What can you do? Dogs will be dogs lol
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I keep my eyes fixed on the sun!
A change in feeling is a change in destiny.
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Bowlartz
Title: Offical VN Tin Foil Hat Supplier
Posts:
7,910
Registered:
Jan 4, '06
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Real Post Cnt: 6,882
User ID: 1,105,056
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Subject:
Need advice
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The dog saved you from seeing the Cherry flavored lube. Dogs are man's best friend.
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Fellow Conservatives, put your money where your forum mouth is... http://www.kiva.org/ Lend a little to entrepreneurs around the world so that they can show the world how it works...
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Kjarhall
Title: The Pungent One
Posts:
29,212
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Mar 1, '02
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User ID: 652,381
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Subject:
Need advice
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I'd be more worried about the dog. Isn't chocolate really bad for them?
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You're a crazy moron*
*http://vnboards.ign.com/outpost/b22180/115147923/r115151508/
hah! true story tho i'm a woman an i even love boobs..how can you not??- HallowEve
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Taliesihne
Title: Wind on the Deep Waters
Posts:
36,223
Registered:
Feb 19, '04
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Subject:
Need advice
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Give the boy money to get her a replacement gift. Swear him to secrecy.
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Jesus saves, Allah protects, and Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich
First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire. -Roland Deschain, of Gilead
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Bonzoboy1
Posts:
7,090
Registered:
Aug 1, '08
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Real Post Cnt: 7,015
User ID: 1,312,136
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Subject:
Need advice
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I let her go out on a school night and she now has a date, at least when he comes over there will be a reason for him to meet my large, defense trained, German Sheppard before the date.
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
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Link to this post
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Grymlo
Posts:
11,677
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Apr 30, '02
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User ID: 674,080
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Subject:
Need advice
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Tell her next time to put her shit up if she doesnt want it trashed!
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A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!
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Afio
Title: Belle of the Bull
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22,285
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Mar 19, '02
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User ID: 659,266
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Subject:
Need advice
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Kjarhall posted:
I'd be more worried about the dog. Isn't chocolate really bad for them?
My first thought.
-----signature-----
I'm not old, I'm crunchy.
IMHO: "You know your poop,Lyndrek"
"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." - Ronald E. Osborn
I stole the above from Bonk's facebook, thanks.
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Moe_Nox
Title: In Moe We Trust
Posts:
22,319
Registered:
Feb 4, '07
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Real Post Cnt: 19,181
User ID: 1,203,840
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Subject:
Need advice
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Chocolate is terrible for dogs, cats as well. They simply cannot process it and it can eventually build up to the point of causing tumors.
Still, equip the young couple with condoms.
-----signature-----
The Nanny State cometh Currency should be bacon cheeseburgers and blow jobs... - Reese Life at the Outpost: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
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