Modeeb
Title: A Ghost In The Machine
Posts:
47,242
Registered:
Apr 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 39,997
User ID: 670,238
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
-----signature-----
"What is here is there. What is not here is nowhere." Vishvasara Tantra
"Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter. Try Again.
Fail Again. Fail Better. Samuel Beckett
|
|
Link to this post
|
vn_nnanji
Title: Outpost Music Expert
Posts:
71,647
Registered:
Jun 30, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 62,027
User ID: 212,537
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
lol
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Ptilk
Title: Creepy old pirate
Posts:
50,658
Registered:
Feb 13, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,530
User ID: 645,124
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
I'm so stealing some of those.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
NuEM
Posts:
15,394
Registered:
Mar 2, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 13,662
User ID: 900,449
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
"16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
That's my favorite one.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
_Enkidu_
Title: Zen Badger
Posts:
11,159
Registered:
Dec 24, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 10,462
User ID: 572,873
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
Almost got a spit-take out of me, this is some great stuff.
-----signature-----
(( )) ......Portrait
o.O ..........of
|||| ....Muhammad
|
|
Link to this post
|
Moe_Nox
Title: In Moe We Trust
Posts:
22,319
Registered:
Feb 4, '07
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,181
User ID: 1,203,840
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
Quality!
-----signature-----
The Nanny State cometh Currency should be bacon cheeseburgers and blow jobs... - Reese Life at the Outpost: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556
|
|
Link to this post
|
Bobvillas
Posts:
1,099
Registered:
Nov 19, '08
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 1,099
User ID: 1,338,010
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
That list was awesome. Ty Modeeb
-----signature-----
"well honestly i didnt learn "jw" on the net i learned it from multiple females that have texted me. but keep on truckin broheim." Thorikos http://fluffytit.mybrute.com
|
|
Link to this post
|
Yukishiro1
Posts:
38,362
Registered:
Sep 20, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 31,453
User ID: 718,633
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Bobvillas posted:
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
That was the best. Hummingbird gets #2 IMO.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
theredkay1
Posts:
6,731
Registered:
May 16, '08
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 6,729
User ID: 1,297,378
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
awesome 
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
cobane
Posts:
14,225
Registered:
Sep 6, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 13,475
User ID: 376,035
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
posted:
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
-----signature-----
"See that the men are thoroughly insulated, for we shall encounter extreme cold." - Dr. Zarkov
|
|
Link to this post
|
Brother_Tempus
Title: Patriot
Posts:
48,624
Registered:
Jan 9, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 48,310
User ID: 61,868
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
-----signature-----
You win ACF, dude - Osmenthe
BT is usually right - Onslaught
i think we need more BT on page 1 - FighterUSAF
Yep, BT is right - Aerlinthian
Got guns & ammo? Food? Precious metals?
|
|
Link to this post
|
Yukishiro1
Posts:
38,362
Registered:
Sep 20, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 31,453
User ID: 718,633
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Posts like this convince me BT is a troll. No one can be this dumb without trying.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
tenkly
Title: Best looking Outposter.
Posts:
7,339
Registered:
Mar 7, '07
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 7,327
User ID: 1,210,617
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Are you stupid? They were obviously making those analogies on purpose. They're all hilarious.
-----signature-----
"Sir, when you die, what shall we do? Bury you? Burn you?" "Nay. I shall be mushroomed"
"You're a weird dude, Tenkly. Knife fights with women and you dress your cat up in sweater vests."- ZigmundZag
|
|
Link to this post
|
Groucho48
Posts:
11,206
Registered:
Oct 22, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 11,136
User ID: 847,611
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
tenkly posted:
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Are you stupid? They were obviously making those analogies on purpose. They're all hilarious.
Yeah. A few of them are too good to be due to simple stupidity.
-----signature-----
“Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.†– Richard Feynman
|
|
Link to this post
|
Darkblade_The_Great
Posts:
7,838
Registered:
Aug 10, '00
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 6,360
User ID: 39,086
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
. posted:
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
-----signature-----
 the less you gamble, the more you lose when you win. "Just get us on the ground." "I think that part'll happen pretty definitely!" Freedom only lives where good men make a stand
|
|
Link to this post
|
Manegarm
Title: European Imperialist Good Guy
Posts:
33,712
Registered:
Aug 11, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,596
User ID: 829,780
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Don't mind BT he's a mindless drone that does not have the required intellect for humor.
Some of those analogies had the quality of Douglas Adams!
"24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools."
-----signature-----
Europa Eternita!
"Damn, Manegarm; you are HAWT!! " - Taolynn
"To the everlasting glory of the infantry, Shines the name Shines the name of Rodger Young"
ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!
Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
|
|
Link to this post
|
Bonzoboy1
Posts:
7,090
Registered:
Aug 1, '08
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 7,015
User ID: 1,312,136
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
#3 was written by someone who was short a few words on a 500 word essay.
-----signature-----
Politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often and for the same reason.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Eager_Igraine
Posts:
20,126
Registered:
Nov 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,548
User ID: 740,268
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Modeeb posted:
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
Hilarious, these are my favorites.
-----signature-----
I radiate more heat than light.
I know what you're trying to do but you're just sailing another failboat over the falls. - imaloon1
|
|
Link to this post
|
Halloweve
Posts:
3,912
Registered:
Mar 6, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 3,894
User ID: 901,645
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
Lol. I liked #10..for some reason they all reminded me of Seinfeld.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
BubbleDude
Title: Perma-N00b
Posts:
16,792
Registered:
Feb 27, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 14,490
User ID: 774,875
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Modeeb posted:
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
omfg lol
-----signature-----
"It's much easier to just bitch on the internet than actually do something." - Altra_Shadowstalker
It probably came here in the first place because it did a search for "pedo forum." - Yukishiro
|
|
Link to this post
|
Jaedence
Posts:
151
Registered:
Feb 27, '09
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 151
User ID: 1,349,778
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Those are awesome but they didn't come from students, they came from a bad analogy contest run by The Post.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/metaphor.asp
Just an FYI.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Eager_Igraine
Posts:
20,126
Registered:
Nov 21, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,548
User ID: 740,268
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
The Post needs to run a new contest. 
-----signature-----
I radiate more heat than light.
I know what you're trying to do but you're just sailing another failboat over the falls. - imaloon1
|
|
Link to this post
|
Kjarhall
Title: The Pungent One
Posts:
29,212
Registered:
Mar 1, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 23,233
User ID: 652,381
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Brother Tempus has a mind as sharp as a razor.... that was used on Manegarms face too many times.
-----signature-----
You're a crazy moron*
*http://vnboards.ign.com/outpost/b22180/115147923/r115151508/
hah! true story tho i'm a woman an i even love boobs..how can you not??- HallowEve
|
|
Link to this post
|
IMHO
Title: Official Outpost Greeter
Posts:
30,884
Registered:
Nov 1, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 28,020
User ID: 490,177
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Kjarhall posted:
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Brother Tempus has a mind as sharp as a razor.... that was used on Manegarms butt hair too many times.
fixt
good find Mo
-----signature-----
You're Right ~ Koneg
He's [Manegarm] like the Fred Phelps of atheism. ~Bubbledude
many of you are in the Republican boat, aka the ship of fools. ~Modeeb
We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. ~Kurt Vonnegut
|
|
Link to this post
|
vn_nnanji
Title: Outpost Music Expert
Posts:
71,647
Registered:
Jun 30, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 62,027
User ID: 212,537
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Kjarhall posted:
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Brother Tempus has a mind as sharp as a razor.... that was used on Manegarms face too many times.
You misspelled "nutsack."
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Spookysheep
Title: Lieker of Cheese
Posts:
21,595
Registered:
Jan 9, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,166
User ID: 601,475
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Best thread in a very long time.
-----signature-----
I liek cheese
Pirates > Ninjas
.....................................
|
|
Link to this post
|
imaloon1
Posts:
25,153
Registered:
Sep 15, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,758
User ID: 838,293
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Yukishiro1 posted:
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Posts like this convince me BT is a troll. No one can be this dumb without trying.
-----signature-----
The time draws nearer to your fate
|
|
Link to this post
|
Fist_de_Yuma
Posts:
24,444
Registered:
Dec 20, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,971
User ID: 566,471
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
|
You cannot blame liberal teaching for these. It is just kids being kids.
-----signature-----
There are three kind of liberals;
Stupid, ignorant or evil
The result is always evil but the intent is not always evil. Not that it makes much difference in the long run.
No one here is exactly as they seem. - G'Kar
|
|
Link to this post
|
vn_nnanji
Title: Outpost Music Expert
Posts:
71,647
Registered:
Jun 30, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 62,027
User ID: 212,537
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
Dear Puma,
Read, THEN comment.
Ur Pal, Nnanji
This thread had a double bonus as it brought the funny and also let BT self pwn showing him to be the ponderous self involved windbag that we know him to be.
-----signature-----
|
|
Link to this post
|
Manegarm
Title: European Imperialist Good Guy
Posts:
33,712
Registered:
Aug 11, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 32,596
User ID: 829,780
|
Subject:
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
|
IMHO posted:
Kjarhall posted:
Brother_Tempus posted:
25 examples of government failures to teach kids English language skills
Brother Tempus has a mind as sharp as a razor.... that was used on Manegarms butt hair too many times.
fixt
good find Mo
I like to keep things fresh.. oyeah.
-----signature-----
Europa Eternita!
"Damn, Manegarm; you are HAWT!! " - Taolynn
"To the everlasting glory of the infantry, Shines the name Shines the name of Rodger Young"
ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!
Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
|
|
Link to this post
|
