Heladric
Title: Alcohol Enthusiast
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Is it my sense of humor? Or am I just that damn good?
Once a guy ordered a Bud Light Lime and I told him he couldn't have one because he's a man and shouldn't be drinking a Bud Light Lime.
Another time a lady said she'd have a beer and ordered a Michelob Ultra. I asked if she wanted a beer or Mich Ultra. In both cases I was tipped over $30.
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cobane
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Think they wanted to help send you back to clown college.
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Tipztoe
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Heladric posted:
Is it my sense of humor? Or am I just that damn good?
Once a guy ordered a Bud Light Lime and I told him he couldn't have one because he's a man and shouldn't be drinking a Bud Light Lime.
Another time a lady said she'd have a beer and ordered a Michelob Ultra. I asked if she wanted a beer or Mich Ultra. In both cases I was tipped over $30.
did he change his mind from the bud lime?
That stuff suck pretty hard.
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Heladric
Title: Alcohol Enthusiast
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Tipztoe posted:
Heladric posted:
Is it my sense of humor? Or am I just that damn good?
Once a guy ordered a Bud Light Lime and I told him he couldn't have one because he's a man and shouldn't be drinking a Bud Light Lime.
Another time a lady said she'd have a beer and ordered a Michelob Ultra. I asked if she wanted a beer or Mich Ultra. In both cases I was tipped over $30.
did he change his mind from the bud lime?
That stuff suck pretty hard.
He didn't. In fact he drank most of what we had and then left me a huge tip. Even told me I was an asshole. Then his buddy asked if I knew who I looked like. When I said Jerry Seinfeld he laughed hysterically and tipped me huge too.
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Phlegm573
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Maybe they were trying to pay you to STFU.
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Manegarm
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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I could not stand being a bartender because I'd be fall down drunk all the time.
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Europa Eternita!
"Damn, Manegarm; you are HAWT!! " - Taolynn
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ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!
Nein mann ich will noch nicht gehen
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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You've got to have a one-of-the-boys attitude to work in a bar as a guy. Girls can get away with any personality and stol bring in tips, as long as they're not fat and lazy. One of my favorite bartenders is a total bitch and scares guys into tipping her well. I love it. She's all tatted up and hot. 
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Eager_Igraine
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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I agree that it's all in the delivery. If customers think you're funny and/or friendly, they'll take all kinds of crap from you - especially if you have hooters like Heladric.
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Rosaria
Title: They call me Mellow Yellow, quite rightly.
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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cobane posted:
Think they wanted to help send you back to clown college.
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Aerlinthian
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Insulting people is a very hit or miss prospect. Sometimes you will make them laugh at themselves and sometimes you will piss them off. Depends on their mood, depends on your delivery, depends on god knows what. Pulling down a few big tips is really little more than anecdotal information.
But if you can routinely get people to laugh at themselves, you're probably on the right track.
Just don't try too hard.
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Friarspam
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Great song (here's the George Jones version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTFXRIY6-fE
Now I'm just a bartender, and I don't like my work, but I don't mind the money at all.
I see lots of sad faces and lots of bad cases of folks with their backs to the wall.
But I need four walls around me to hold my life, to keep me from going astray,
and a honky-tonk angel to hold me tight to keep me from slipping away.
I can light up your smokes, I can laugh at your jokes,
I can watch you fall down on your knees.
I can close down this bar, I can gas up my car, I can pack up and mail in my key.
But I need four walls around me to hold my life, to keep me from going astray,
and a honky-tonk angel to hold me tight to keep me from slipping away.
Now, the smoke fills the air in this honky-tonk bar
and I'm thinking 'bout where I'd rather be.
But I burned all my bridges, I sank all my ships and I'm stranded at the edge of the sea.
But I need four walls around me to hold my life, to keep me from going astray,
and a honky-tonk angel to hold me tight to keep me from slipping away.
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__Bonk__
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Grats. People love a funny bartender!
Be careful insulting people. Some people are crazy
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Friarspam
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Nothing to do with the thread, but...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZaZqx9v3dU
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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__Bonk__ posted:
Grats. People love a funny bartender!
Be careful insulting people. Some people are crazy
Stop threatening the Outpost, Bonk!
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"Goddammit, Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I could th'ow you, but I enjoy the way you lie."
I don't typo often, but when I do, I blame Swype.
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Heladric
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Manegarm posted:
I could not stand being a bartender because I'd be fall down drunk all the time.
We have to get permission to drink, and the customer has to buy us the drink. And if we get drunk, we get fired. So... I don't really drink.
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vn_nnanji
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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Have you noticed that most of them go to the restroom before tipping you? They are in there wiping their balls and butts before giving you the bills.
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Heladric
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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vn_nnanji posted:
Have you noticed that most of them go to the restroom before tipping you? They are in there wiping their balls and butts before giving you the bills.
That's fine. I always put my money in an envelope and then wash my hands before leaving work. I don't care if they rub $100 bill on their nuts and hand it to me. It's $100 in my bank account and a little bit of soap used to clean my hands.
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I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
There is not possibly enough room in the VN data store to contain a post outlining all the problems with women. - Abaddon Ambrosius
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vn_nnanji
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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But your money smells like balls.
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Friarspam
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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vn_nnanji posted:
But your money smells like balls.
I'd say you should probably trust the badger on this one. If there's one thing he knows, it's the SMELL OF BALLS!
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__Bonk__
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As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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-----signature-----
I keep my eyes fixed on the sun!
A change in feeling is a change in destiny.
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Heladric
Title: Alcohol Enthusiast
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Subject:
As a bartender, I insult my customers and still pull in huge tips
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vn_nnanji posted:
But your money smells like balls.
First, it goes in an envelope which I put in a drawer. Secondly, it stays there for maybe 3 days max, at which point I put it in the bank. So really, the money smelling like balls doesn't really bother me.
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I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
There is not possibly enough room in the VN data store to contain a post outlining all the problems with women. - Abaddon Ambrosius
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