Sinlock
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Underworld: Awakening (2012)
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Planet Fury posted:
Overall, Underworld: Awakening is exactly what you think it might be, though perhaps not quite as bad. It is a little like walking into a hospital room and expecting to find a patient lying in a permanent vegetative state, and instead finding them awake and merely autistic.
http://www.planetfury.com/content/underworld-awakening-2012
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Ptilk
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I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
The only reason I ever watched one of them anyway. Couldn't tell you a thing about the storyline in any of them. They could do away with story altogether and save a ton of money. Just have her run around in that outfit in a bunch of different locations with the occasional slow mo segment of her bending over to pick up a penny or something.
Make just as much bank at the box office.
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reesescups
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Ptilk posted:
I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
The only reason I ever watched one of them anyway. Couldn't tell you a thing about the storyline in any of them. They could do away with story altogether and save a ton of money. Just have her run around in that outfit in a bunch of different locations with the occasional slow mo segment of her bending over to pick up a penny or something.
Make just as much bank at the box office.
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Onslaught.
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Subject:
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Ptilk posted:
I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
The only reason I ever watched one of them anyway. Couldn't tell you a thing about the storyline in any of them. They could do away with story altogether and save a ton of money. Just have her run around in that outfit in a bunch of different locations with the occasional slow mo segment of her bending over to pick up a penny or something.
Make just as much bank at the box office.
I watch them for Beckinsale's ass and the random vampire fight scenes. I have no idea what the story-lines for the previous movies were either.
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Scarne
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I think I made the right choice in going to see Haywire today instead. 
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__Bonk__
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I just want to see her in hot leather fighting people.
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sweeny_comodore
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Subject:
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Onslaught. posted:
Ptilk posted:
I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
The only reason I ever watched one of them anyway. Couldn't tell you a thing about the storyline in any of them. They could do away with story altogether and save a ton of money. Just have her run around in that outfit in a bunch of different locations with the occasional slow mo segment of her bending over to pick up a penny or something.
Make just as much bank at the box office.
I watch them for Beckinsale's ass and the random vampire fight scenes. I have no idea what the story-lines for the previous movies were either.
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Tych2
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Ptilk posted:
I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
It is for me!
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Corky_Aloof
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Subject:
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Here you are then..
http://www.amazon.com/LATEX-METALLIC-LEGGINGS-LIQUID-LEATHER/dp/B001UFZV44/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327191042&sr=8-1
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Lyken-P
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Moe_Nox
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Its funny when movie reviews take themselves more serious than the popcorn flick movie takes itself.
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__Bonk__
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They review popcorn fun movies like they were Shakespeare!
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Rikarus
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Moe_Nox posted:
Its funny when movie reviews take themselves more serious than the popcorn flick movie takes itself.
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Sinlock
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'Popcorn movies' and 'check your brain at the door' type films should all be analyzed just the same as any other. Being dumb doesn't get you a free pass.
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Heladric
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Is it a movie where vampires are badass? Yes? We need 1,000 more of them after Twilight pussified vampires and werewolves.
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Sinlock
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Heladric posted:
Is it a movie where vampires are badass?
Sort of. The leader of the only coven left (at least what's shown) is an old shriveled coward who gives in to the lycan threat in order to save his skin.
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RHWarrior
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Heladric posted:
Is it a movie where vampires are badass? Yes? We need 1,000 more of them after Twilight pussified vampires and werewolves.
Twilight isn't a "vampire movie"(!)
This is the ONLY vampire flick:
That and the John Carpenter one.
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AzureTyger
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Moe_Nox posted:
Its funny when movie reviews take themselves more serious than the popcorn flick movie takes itself.
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__Bonk__
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Message to Sinlock: Its not Shakespeare! Its a movie about a hot chick in leather fighting werewolves!
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Heladric
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RHWarrior posted:
Heladric posted:
Is it a movie where vampires are badass? Yes? We need 1,000 more of them after Twilight pussified vampires and werewolves.
Twilight isn't a "vampire movie"(!)
This is the ONLY vampire flick:
That and the John Carpenter one.
It's a movie with Vampires in it. It will be categorized as such by everyone. Fortunately Blade and Underworld are there to make things right.
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Sinlock
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__Bonk__ posted:
Its a movie about a hot chick in leather fighting werewolves!
That's not an excuse for poor character development, weak story arc, or cartoon werewolves. 
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reesescups
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Sinlock posted:
__Bonk__ posted:
Its a movie about a hot chick in leather fighting werewolves!
That's not an excuse for poor character development, weak story arc, or cartoon werewolves.
I'm pretty sure the point of a movie isn't to provide strong character development, strong story arc or whatever else you were blabbing about. The point of a movie is to make money, and a hot chick in tight leather makes money.
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Sinlock
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reesescups posted:
The point of a movie is to make money, and a hot chick in tight leather makes money.
The point of film review is not to judge whether a movie will make money or not; rather, it is to apply the standards of quality film making and describe whether the film lives up to, or exceeds, those standards.
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__Bonk__
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Sinlock hates Kate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUAsnnA7V4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNDA6f_WyWM
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Rikarus
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just saw it, it was pretty decent, and unlike other franchises thedirector didn't shit all over the established cannonhe used it.....well done!
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Yossarian_42
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I laugh whenever somebody makes the insipid statement that a film shouldn't be judged because it is of such low quality that it is unfair to hold it to any standard.
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Abaddon_Ambrosius
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Ptilk posted:
I thought the only point in any of those movies was to see Kate Beckinsale run around in a tight leather outfit?
That was my first, only, and relevant thought on this topic.
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Sinlock
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Yossarian_42 posted:
I laugh whenever somebody makes the insipid statement that a film shouldn't be judged because it is of such low quality that it is unfair to hold it to any standard.
Exactly.
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Voodoo-Dahl
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Subject:
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Sinlock posted:
Planet Fury posted:
Overall, Underworld: Awakening is exactly what you think it might be, though perhaps not quite as bad. It is a little like walking into a hospital room and expecting to find a patient lying in a permanent vegetative state, and instead finding them awake and merely autistic.
http://www.planetfury.com/content/underworld-awakening-2012
Insightful review. Now. Back to the topic at hand.
TAKE MY MONEY I DON'T NEED IT!
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