PhillsburyBandit
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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I think its good for the guy but bad for the chick.
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vn_nnanji
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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So from now on you are going to date guys exclusively?
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cabbyman
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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pwnt!
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Cawlin
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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As long as you're safe with respect to disease and pregnancy, yes, it's a good idea. There is too much emphasis placed on the "importance" of sex outside of the enjoyment of the act itself.
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Ptilk
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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For me it's pretty much the only idea.....as I seldom get a second date and have to go for it while I have the chance.
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reesescups
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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As a rule of thumb sex on any date is a good idea.
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GrilledCheez
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Chicks love sex. Maybe you are just bad at it. I guess you could just be the kind of guy they regret sleeping with. I think most of the chicks I dated long ago would have been sad if I hadn't sexxed them on the first date.
After High School I only dated maybe a dozen chicks or so before I got married, but I sexxed them all on the first date. Why wouldn't you?
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PhillsburyBandit
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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GrilledCheez posted:
Chicks love sex. Maybe you are just bad at it. I guess you could just be the kind of guy they regret sleeping with. I think most of the chicks I dated long ago would have been sad if I hadn't sexxed them on the first date.
After High School I only dated maybe a dozen chicks or so before I got married, but I sexxed them all on the first date. Why wouldn't you?
Well your mom didn't regret it. 
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Manegarm
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Yes and no, good if she says yes.. very bad if she says no.
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GrilledCheez
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Manegarm posted:
Yes and no, good if she says yes.. very bad if she says no.
I don't think that has much to do with what date you are on. What if she says no so you have sex by yourself? What if you have sex by yourself right in front of her?
Someone should try that sometime.
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Modeeb
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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If I date a woman three times without sex , I 'm never to be seen again. It depends on the first encounter. I like to build some intimacy, that usually takes me one date. However, if she is ready on the first date, then I will acquiesce.
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_Enkidu_
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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I'm going with 'good idea.'
I would have picked 'great idea' but that wasn't an option.
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Coriolus
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Excellent idea
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Scarne
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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PhillsburyBandit posted:
I think its good for the guy but bad for the chick.
Maybe it is good for the less attractive person but bad for the more attractive person. 
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IMHO
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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GrilledCheez posted:
What if she says no so you have sex by yourself? What if you have sex by yourself right in front of her?
Someone should try that sometime.
Watch "Homeland" 
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Crooq_Lionfang
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Coriolus posted:
Excellent idea
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IMHO
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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AT $200/hr it better be more than an idea!!
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Scarne
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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GrilledCheez posted:
Manegarm posted:
Yes and no, good if she says yes.. very bad if she says no.
I don't think that has much to do with what date you are on. What if she says no so you have sex by yourself? What if you have sex by yourself right in front of her?
Someone should try that sometime.
I guess the "Naked Man" episode of How I Met Your Mother somewhat covers this.
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Taliesihne
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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That scene from Homeland is horribly awkward.
But I agree that it really depends on the date and the circumstances.
At my age, it's certainly in the cards with every date (if I were single and dating that is.)
That's one of the great things about being middle aged - no more of that BS around sex. Women in their 30's love it and have no problem giving it up - it isn't this protracted chase you sometimes ran into in your twenties.
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Yukishiro1
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Honestly, probably not unless you're sterile.
Or you bat for the other team like Sobaki so that isn't a potential issue.
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Halloweve
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
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Cawlin
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
Whether or not we made the two-backed beast on the first date would not play into my decision to continue to date her.
I believe the sort of stigma you're talking about exists more amongst women judging themselves or other women than amongst men judging women.
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sweeny_comodore
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
its the first date!
whos thinking about future relationships and marriage??!
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IMHO
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Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
Men who want expect sex on the first date are probably not good marriage materiel.
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RHWarrior
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
I wouldn't want a wife that is less than a slutty ho!
With me.
Of course I'm not a catholic.
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reesescups
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
All depends on how it plays out.
Sex early on in the dating or relationship is not a deal breaker for a long term relationship. Again, it just depends on how slutty BOTH people are about it...
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sweeny_comodore
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IMHO posted:
Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
Men who want expect sex on the first date are probably not good marriage materiel.
women who are thinking about marriage on the first date are also probably not good marriage material
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Ptilk
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I'd never consider having a relationship with a woman who didn't have some sort of sex with me on the first date. What would be the point?
In a relationship I am looking for:
Companionship (with someone I can have sex with)
Friendship (with someone I can have sex with)
Fun (in the form of sex at times)
Conversation (sometimes about sex and sometimes during sex)
Sex
If it isn't about sex, it's not about a relationship. It's called being friends. I don't need any more of those, the ones I have are enough trouble.
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sweeny_comodore
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Is having sex on the first date a good idea?
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Ptilk posted:
I'd never consider having a relationship with a woman who didn't have some sort of sex with me on the first date. What would be the point?
In a relationship I am looking for:
Companionship (with someone I can have sex with)
Friendship (with someone I can have sex with)
Fun (in the form of sex at times)
Conversation (sometimes about sex and sometimes during sex)
Sex
If it isn't about sex, it's not about a relationship. It's called being friends. I don't need anymore.
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Yukishiro1
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It kinda depends on what the purpose of the date is, doesn't it?
And how well you know the person, for that matter.
If you're having sex with someone you just met an hour or two ago at the bar who you really know nothing at all about, you are taking the risk of possibly pretty lifechanging consequences for what amounts to an hour or two of fun. I'm not sure the sort of person who does that is really the sort of person I would want to have a long-term relationship with. But then if I was the sort of person who would do that I probably wouldn't think that way in the first place.
And I guess you can say that about almost anything. If you play football with some friends you're taking the risk of maybe breaking your neck for an hour or two of fun. Or any time you get in a car. So maybe the risk of having sex on the first date and being stuck with a lifetime of child support payments to make or getting AIDS is overrated.
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Cawlin
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Ptilk posted:
I'd never consider having a relationship with a woman who didn't have some sort of sex with me on the first date. What would be the point?
In a relationship I am looking for:
Companionship (with someone I can have sex with)
Friendship (with someone I can have sex with)
Fun (in the form of sex at times)
Conversation (sometimes about sex and sometimes during sex)
Sex
You WISH you could still have that much sex you crusty old fker! 
Seriously though I've said almost EXACTLY this before myself:
Ptilk posted:
If it isn't about sex, it's not about a relationship. It's called being friends. I don't need any more of those, the ones I have are enough trouble.
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Halloweve
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Yeah Sweeny it's the first date That's why I was thinking..if she has sex with you on the first date..maybe she does all the time? Would that matter down the road..or would she just more than likely be booty call date girl?
And someone said this is how women judge one another..not men..really? I have guy friends that are more than blunt with me..they are more than happy to have sex the first date..but seems like they would never consider this a serious contender for more.
If the girl can atleast hold out for a few dates..she gets a little more respect.
I am older than alot of you so maybe this is just old fashioned talk. Things change.
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Ptilk
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WTF?
Vasectomy, condoms, I'll be dead before AIDS would kill me.
I like a woman who has had plenty of sexual partners. If I wanted a virgin, I'd buy one from China.
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sweeny_comodore
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having sex with someone you just met an hour or two ago at the bar isnt a date.
its a one night stand.
and if youre smart, you went to a hotel or her place so she doesnt know where you live.
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__Bonk__
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Wish I had the moves for that kind of thing.
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Yukishiro1
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Ptilk posted:
WTF?
Vasectomy, condoms, I'll be dead before AIDS would kill me.
Like I said, vasectomy changes the calculation by eliminating the child end of things.
I guess being old and about to die anyway eliminates the risks on the STD side of things to some extent. Although there are some STDs you'd still probably rather not get even if you are old and broken anyhow.
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Cawlin
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Halloweve posted:
Yeah Sweeny it's the first date That's why I was thinking..if she has sex with you on the first date..maybe she does all the time? Would that matter down the road..or would she just more than likely be booty call date girl?
And someone said this is how women judge one another..not men..really? I have guy friends that are more than blunt with me..they are more than happy to have sex the first date..but seems like they would never consider this a serious contender for more.
If the girl can atleast hold out for a few dates..she gets a little more respect.
I am older than alot of you so maybe this is just old fashioned talk. Things change.
Regarding the bold, I find that attitude as parochial, old fashioned, and offensive as the woman who thinks of sex as a tool to get respect...
Seriously those guy friends of yours sound like NYC guidos.
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GrilledCheez
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IMHO posted:
Halloweve posted:
Ok, I am assuming all of you are men..so let me flip the question.
Let's say you both want sex the first date..fine and good..but would you consider this woman to be the one you want to mature a relationship with..for possible marriage someday? Or, do you just think she is probably just a whore and would be better off to keep looking? Be honest.
Men who want expect sex on the first date are probably not good marriage materiel.
expecting and partaking are two different things. Some chicks have hangups about self image or whatever and if they do that is fine. I wouldn't not see them again if that was the case.
But I think making a chick feel comfortable with your level of attraction is good enough to defuse this ninety percent of the time.
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Halloweve
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Lol I'm not judging, I am honestly curious.
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Ptilk
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I got a few STD's when I was in my teens and twenties. Haven't had a brush with one since. Of course, I don't have as many sexual partners as I had back then either.
Outside of the 2 female friends with benefits I have, I usually only date a couple of women a year (since my divorce that is) and have had 4 relationships in the past 9 years that lasted at least a year.. I'm monogamous (for the most part) then as well.
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Jorrdan
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I generally do not have sex on a first date because, by nature, I'm a bit reserved until I get to know you. That said, I'm of an age that if we are dating and there is chemistry, I see no reason to prolong intimacy once we are both comfortable with each other. Has nothing to do with "marriage", "respect", etc. for me. Just chemistry. 
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sweeny_comodore
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Halloweve posted:
Yeah Sweeny it's the first date That's why I was thinking..if she has sex with you on the first date..maybe she does all the time? Would that matter down the road..or would she just more than likely be booty call date girl?
And someone said this is how women judge one another..not men..really? I have guy friends that are more than blunt with me..they are more than happy to have sex the first date..but seems like they would never consider this a serious contender for more.
If the girl can atleast hold out for a few dates..she gets a little more respect.
I am older than alot of you so maybe this is just old fashioned talk. Things change.
no. having sex on the first date isnt a game changer.
not having sex on the first date is more likely to be a game changer unless the chick is really fucking cool and or super model gorgeous.
so if youre planning on not putting out, you better be able to hold your end of the conversation as well as be entertaining as hell.
if we go out a lot, have fun, enjoy chatting and have sex every time, eventually it turns into an exclusive dating arrangement at which point you start to evaluate whether or not you would consider living with the person. shes a ton of fun on dates and the sex is, at least, decent but would i want her around 24/7. this is when the decision about marriage comes into play. if its 2 months or 3 years down the road its irrelevant. having sex on the first date is irrelevant by this point.
if your friends are saying theyve made up their minds about marriage after the first date then they are probably gay.
or clingy emo types who want their day of being a prince standing at the alter.
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sweeny_comodore
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Jorrdan posted:
I generally do not have sex on a first date because, by nature, I'm a bit reserved until I get to know you. That said, I'm of an age that if we are dating and there is chemistry, I see no reason to prolong intimacy once we are both comfortable with each other. Has nothing to do with "marriage", "respect", etc. for me. Just chemistry.
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Tipztoe
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IMHO posted:
GrilledCheez posted:
What if she says no so you have sex by yourself? What if you have sex by yourself right in front of her?
Someone should try that sometime.
Watch "Homeland"
or the Tudors..
haha that poor bastard that had to hold a pillow while the king jacked on it
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Modeeb
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Every woman must at least be seduced twice, first mentally and then physically. This is why I said I prefer sex on a second date. We have had some time to establish interest, desire or curiousity. A woman who holds out will lose me without some good reason.
I have dated many older women and some have problems because they have gone through menopause and/or anxieties of one form or another (i.e they may not feel they as beautiful-attractive as they once were). It is better to help them bridge their fears to love-making. Also some women have not experienced orgasms with a man and they require special attention. But, everyone needs to be honest and communicate. If I suspect games, I'm on to the next woman pronto. I enjoy intimacy with someone I have established a connection with. It makes for better higher quality more-finessed sex.
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billyquick
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If they are dating me its a good idea if they are dating someone else no
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imaloon1
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cabbyman posted:
pwnt!
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Phlegm573
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In my experience, sex on the first date leads to the woman not sticking around. Either she doesnt respect you or she feels embarrassed, or some combination thereof. Or she might just be in "hit it and quit it" mode. (read: bf is out of town for the week)
I'm one of those weenies who never wants to just h&q so.... while sex on the first date might be good in theory... it's not so good in practice if you want her to stick around.
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ZartanAround
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THIS THREAD IS FULL OF SEX EXPERTS!!!
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Cawlin
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Phlegm573 posted:
In my experience, sex on the first date leads to the woman not sticking around. Either she doesnt respect you or she feels embarrassed, or some combination thereof. Or she might just be in "hit it and quit it" mode. (read: bf is out of town for the week)
I'm one of those weenies who never wants to just h&q so.... while sex on the first date might be good in theory... it's not so good in practice if you want her to stick around.
If the woman is in the mood to H&Q, she's not going to wait around and date you another time or two, she's going to go get laid with someone else on the first date. If her boyfriend is out of town for the week, this is doubly true. If you hit it on the first date, at the very LEAST you got laid out of the deal.
If she's embarrassed after having sex with you on the first date either one of two things are true:
1) You weren't a very good lay and she's embarrassed FOR you.
2) She's got "issues" and you're probably better off without her.
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ZartanAround
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3) go stick you penis in an electrical outlet
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Elocism
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-Ducky-
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We had sex on the first date and then we got married. 
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So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton
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Shimatta33
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There's no hard fast rules...for some people it's a good idea, for some it's a bad idea. Depends on the people involved. I would think no less of the potential future together with a woman if she slept with me on the first date. I wouldn't lose any respect for her if she didn't want to sleep with me on the first date.
Depends on the woman and the man. If you have a nasty cycle of one night stands or brief intense relationships that end in fiery disaster and are looking for long term love then it's most likely a bad idea, but if you are just comfortable and confident in yourself and each other and that's where things lead then what's wrong with that?
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eodoll
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Halloweve posted:
Yeah Sweeny it's the first date That's why I was thinking..if she has sex with you on the first date..maybe she does all the time? Would that matter down the road..or would she just more than likely be booty call date girl?
And someone said this is how women judge one another..not men..really? I have guy friends that are more than blunt with me..they are more than happy to have sex the first date..but seems like they would never consider this a serious contender for more.
If the girl can atleast hold out for a few dates..she gets a little more respect.
I am older than alot of you so maybe this is just old fashioned talk. Things change.
The old rule still has merit,, men fall in love before sex and women after. So if youre really trying to get that bond from the guy dont expect sex to do it.
Ive had sex on the first date, but we had been talking a bit before that. That date was just great and i didnt think of her as a slut, i thought instead that i was irresistable.
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GrilledCheez
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Umm. Why would you respect a woman that "held out" for five dates more than one that did what you both wanted on the first date? Obviously your expectation is that if you are in a committed relationship she doesn't have sex with other guys. No matter how many times they've dated her.
This line of reason makes no sense to me. If this wa sa delayed gratification scenario then ok, but it's not. You can have sex as many times as you like, so there's no reason to save it for later.
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eodoll
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Well its all about scenario... If you meet a woman at a bar or club or party and then take her home or into a closet/bathroom..
She is not getting respect, she is not going to be talked about respectfully, she is just someone you f'd and you will most Ikely try to get away from her ASAP. She will probably never go beyond friends with benefits if it does go further.
But if this is a real date where youre buying a dinner and both are going into the date hoping for a relationship, then thats a dfferent story.
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Bobvillas
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Having sex on the first date is typically not all its cracked up to be.
Neither of you know the other well enough to know how to make it really enjoyable.
Take your time and get to know what makes them tick if you are looking for a real relationship.
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ZartanAround
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-Ducky- posted:
We had sex on the first date and then we got married.
i can understand sex on the first date, but getting married is going too far. :P
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__Bonk__
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Ducky jumped the broom!
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-Ducky-
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lol. not on the first date.
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