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Author Topic: English Pronunciation
Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
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 Subject: English Pronunciation

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

 

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Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
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Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
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regulator_cracka 
Title: They finally recognized greatness.
Posts: 22,259
Registered: Jan 6, '09
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Done!

 

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Self Appointed Smart Ass - Level 80
If you think my opinion is idiotic, re-read yours.
Dont worry I will give my opinion anyways.
The PvP MMO is NOT a "niche" market, Mythic is just a "niche" company.
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AkagiyamaMissile 
Title: Lord of the Lactose Intolerant
Posts: 41,132
Registered: Apr 22, '03
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 Subject: English Pronunciation

 

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Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
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winga 
Title: Canadian
Posts: 29,014
Registered: Apr 27, '01
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Apparently I fail... plain

 

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TheSixthSeal 
Posts: 6,383
Registered: Oct 10, '06
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
No surprise

 

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(none)
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Caoilin 
Title: Instigator
Posts: 56,728
Registered: Nov 20, '01
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
what do i win?

 

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"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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Rhodoman 
Posts: 81,876
Registered: Jun 14, '01
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User ID: 154,069
 Subject: English Pronunciation
Outstanding.

Rho

 

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Rho is correct. - Varece
Venit hiems quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
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AkagiyamaMissile 
Title: Lord of the Lactose Intolerant
Posts: 41,132
Registered: Apr 22, '03
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Caoilin posted:
what do i win?

 

-----signature-----
Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
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-MrBean- 
Title: Now With Extra Baldness
Posts: 13,652
Registered: May 23, '01
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Done!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_mDTLphIVY

 

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CreepyHands 
Posts: 61
Registered: Nov 17, '11
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGT08DTk3NM

 

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Caoilin 
Title: Instigator
Posts: 56,728
Registered: Nov 20, '01
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
AkagiyamaMissile posted:
Caoilin posted:
what do i win?



i didn't get a perfect english sat score based on my good looks! tongue

 

-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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warflea 
Title: Resident Mathematician
Posts: 6,631
Registered: Aug 22, '01
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User ID: 337,314
 Subject: English Pronunciation
"Query does not rhyme with very"

Oh but it does, so long as you're not Bri'ish.

 

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"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work,
but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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-Foxy- 
Title: Moderator
Ãœber Brat
Posts: 110,094
Registered: May 29, '02
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User ID: 683,944
 Subject: English Pronunciation
i like this lol

 

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Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
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winga 
Title: Canadian
Posts: 29,014
Registered: Apr 27, '01
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Oh wait I forgot this is ACF... Yah, I spoke it flawlessly in under 10 seconds.  Who couldn't?

 

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Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
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Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
 Subject: English Pronunciation
winga posted:
Oh wait I forgot this is ACF... Yah, I spoke it flawlessly in under 10 seconds.  Who couldn't?
applause

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
Dark_EternalFF 
Title: Official ACF Turd
Posts: 85,900
Registered: Nov 8, '02
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User ID: 736,311
 Subject: English Pronunciation
Mangler_SC posted:
winga posted:
Oh wait I forgot this is ACF... Yah, I spoke it flawlessly in under 10 seconds.  Who couldn't?
applause


This, duh. OH SO HARD

 

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Max Fox (AC), Zygran (WoW, SWTOR)
"We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fk with the human race!"
DE/Mr Pants 2012 flag
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regulator_cracka 
Title: They finally recognized greatness.
Posts: 22,259
Registered: Jan 6, '09
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Real Post Cnt: 22,219
User ID: 1,343,795
 Subject: English Pronunciation
I am so much cooler and smarter online. nerd

 

-----signature-----
Self Appointed Smart Ass - Level 80
If you think my opinion is idiotic, re-read yours.
Dont worry I will give my opinion anyways.
The PvP MMO is NOT a "niche" market, Mythic is just a "niche" company.
Link to this post
Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
 Subject: English Pronunciation
regulator_cracka posted:
I am so much cooler and smarter online. nerd
We know! nerd

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
Poit-Narf 
Title: Cleric of Juan
Posts: 47,276
Registered: Jul 11, '04
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
That's awesome.

Also, screw proper nouns.

 

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"I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time."
Rift: Deepstrike/Guardian
Poit (Mage), Point (Rogue), Popit (Cleric), Poiyt (Warrior)
http://immortal-guild.com/
"You're so heterophobic" -Lyli
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_sooz_ 
Posts: 15,882
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 Subject: English Pronunciation
Done happy

 

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love Wolfz love
rose All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you. rose
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Mangler_SC 
Title: Bellybutton Lint Collector
Posts: 62,003
Registered: Dec 2, '03
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Real Post Cnt: 61,052
User ID: 863,702
 Subject: English Pronunciation
Rhodoman posted:
Outstanding.

Rho
I concur.

 

-----signature-----
.
Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear.
-Bou_Te
.
Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE cool
Link to this post
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