TickyAtack
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Bottle openers that don't work
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My friend brought be back a keychain bottle opener from arizona, it's super nice and has a little spinning kokopelli on it. Doesn't work, won't grip the bottle cap. How the eff does somebody make and sell a bottle opener that doesn't open bottles.
Reminds me, my mom bought my brother a wall hanging one from Pottery Barn a few years back. Solid brass or something, looked like this one:
didn't work. You could open the bottle only if you held the bottle horizontal to it, but as I experienced at a party, you spray beer all over everyone within range.
wtf?
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i, ticky.
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the_tessa
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have to open it faster
-----signature-----
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Sgian_Dubh
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This is america, land of cheap crap people are too stupid and undisciplined not to waste money on.
-----signature-----
"You'll rue the day you crossed me Trebek!"
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levgre
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You need a dog to slobber on the cap for lubricant first, duh!
-----signature-----
<(o.O)> <(o.O<) (>o.O)> (>o.O<)<(''<) <( ' ' )> (>'')>
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TickyAtack
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Bottle openers that don't work
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the_tessa posted:
have to open it faster
I tried that. That's when you get the spray. Otherwise you just get the spilling down the wall.
-----signature-----
i, ticky.
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-oddlystrange-
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I was given a bottle opener / flash drive from one of my company's social functions. Completely useless as an opener, nearly useless as a flash drive.
I keep it to fuel my spite.
-----signature-----
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Ferrydust
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Sgian_Dubh posted:
This is america, land of cheap crap people are too stupid and undisciplined not to waste money on.
Blame China.
-----signature-----
I, on the other hand, prefer a command-line system 'cause i'm so hardcore
/north /north *You encounter an [Avatar of the god Set]!*
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Caoilin
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-oddlystrange- posted:
I was given a bottle opener / flash drive from one of my company's social functions. Completely useless as an opener, nearly useless as a flash drive.
I keep it to fuel my spite.
i enjoy you so much.
-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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rabbitslayer
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I use a bic lighter, works great
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TickyAtack
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-oddlystrange- posted:
I was given a bottle opener / flash drive from one of my company's social functions. Completely useless as an opener, nearly useless as a flash drive.
I keep it to fuel my spite.
This is what redhook gives out??? 
-----signature-----
i, ticky.
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Jezza_Belle
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kitchen drawer knobs are the perfect distance from the drawer to open a bottle.
I don't use this method often, only when I can't find one of my 4 bottle openers.
-----signature-----
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Onslaught.
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I use an old cutting board when I can not find an opener. Just put the cap on the edge and karate chop it.
-----signature-----
"Mmmmrmmrrrmrrmrmrrrrmrmrrmrmrmrrmrr"
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TickyAtack
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Ok this thread is not about poor man bottle opening strategies.
It's about how somebody can design and machine a very nice product for a specific purpose, but neglects to care if it works for that purpose.
-----signature-----
i, ticky.
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Jezza_Belle
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TickyAtack posted:
Ok this thread is not about poor man bottle opening strategies.
It's about how somebody can design and machine a very nice product for a specific purpose, but neglects to care if it works for that purpose.
obviously you haven't been stuck with an unopened bottle when you really wanted a beer.
-----signature-----
( - Y - ) These ones are not real, just FYI. Follow my progress... http://tweetlbug.deviantart.com/
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Mangler_SC
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rabbitslayer posted:
I use a bic lighter, works great
-----signature-----
. Mangler had an accident on the way home from the liquor store. He was run off the road and crashed into a woman's clinic. It was one giant Pabst smear. -Bou_Te . Soylent CLiKK -- It's PEEEEEOPLEEE 
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AkagiyamaMissile
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Wait, how exactly are you using this? Are you using the correct side? The correct direction?
-----signature-----
Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
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Caoilin
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TickyAtack posted:
My friend brought be back a keychain bottle opener from arizona, it's super nice and has a little spinning kokopelli on it. Doesn't work, won't grip the bottle cap. How the eff does somebody make and sell a bottle opener that doesn't open bottles.
Reminds me, my mom bought my brother a wall hanging one from Pottery Barn a few years back. Solid brass or something, looked like this one:
didn't work. You could open the bottle only if you held the bottle horizontal to it, but as I experienced at a party, you spray beer all over everyone within range.
wtf?
clearly we have different definitions of "didn't work".
-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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AkagiyamaMissile
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Caoilin posted:
TickyAtack posted:
My friend brought be back a keychain bottle opener from arizona, it's super nice and has a little spinning kokopelli on it. Doesn't work, won't grip the bottle cap. How the eff does somebody make and sell a bottle opener that doesn't open bottles.
Reminds me, my mom bought my brother a wall hanging one from Pottery Barn a few years back. Solid brass or something, looked like this one:
didn't work. You could open the bottle only if you held the bottle horizontal to it, but as I experienced at a party, you spray beer all over everyone within range.
wtf?
clearly we have different definitions of "didn't work".
ISENGARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----signature-----
Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
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Caoilin
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well next time don't call an entire fortress a tower. 
-----signature-----
"Cao is really an asexual cricket from outer space" - Bernion
"I just wish you had man bits" - ShalisR
"i'll be your dirty ignorant redneck if you will be my drugged out cripple bitch" - shaggynuts24
"again, I'm stupid" - Brandun
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AkagiyamaMissile
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Caoilin posted:
well next time don't call an entire fortress a tower.
\\
I was trying to be all LEET and COOL. I forgot the tower is indeed called...
oh FFS...At least you blocked a tirade from Caw by just calling me out for being the idiot that I am.
-----signature-----
Stupidity is hard to get rid of, but at least I can admit I have a problem -Mithan-
Gobble Gobble Mother******! -Thankskilling
and off course divers license don't count either this sucks balls.-FD
Bring it on like Donkey Kong
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Fozzie_Bear
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pisses my wife off to no end but I still use my teeth.
-----signature-----
The Oatmeal Butterscotch paired with a Snickerdoodle
turned my cynical penis into a happy vagina
Then after an Oatmeal Cranberry and Double Chocolate,
it made my new vagina spontaneously sing the Trolololo Song in an elevator.
---AkagiyamaMissile
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-Foxy-
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well stop that!
-----signature-----
Long suffering vassal to Xarkath, U.P. - Forever and ever
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Fozzie_Bear
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-Foxy- posted:
well stop that!
it never fails that I am faced with one of these bottles when there is a dire need for its contents and absolutely no hope of an actual tool being present to open it with.
-----signature-----
The Oatmeal Butterscotch paired with a Snickerdoodle
turned my cynical penis into a happy vagina
Then after an Oatmeal Cranberry and Double Chocolate,
it made my new vagina spontaneously sing the Trolololo Song in an elevator.
---AkagiyamaMissile
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winga
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The only time I drink from bottles is when I'm at the bar... and they take the cap off for me. Your first world problems amuse me though.
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Bork_the_orc
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winga posted:
The only time I drink from bottles is when I'm at the bar... and they take the cap off for me. Your first world problems amuse me though.
This was a problem back home in South Africa, too. Hardly just a first world problem.
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Reapist
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Back in the old days we would walk over to the car with the open doors (the one with the music playing) and use the door latch mechanism inside the door jam to open the bottle of beer.
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Sith_Mauler
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bic lighter work great if you have some strength in your hands
-----signature-----
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
I have seen a lot of things in my life time.
That is why I walk the line I walk.
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mightbe
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i have two bottle openers on my key chain. never know when one will break
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regulator_cracka
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Caoilin posted:
TickyAtack posted:
My friend brought be back a keychain bottle opener from arizona, it's super nice and has a little spinning kokopelli on it. Doesn't work, won't grip the bottle cap. How the eff does somebody make and sell a bottle opener that doesn't open bottles.
Reminds me, my mom bought my brother a wall hanging one from Pottery Barn a few years back. Solid brass or something, looked like this one:
didn't work. You could open the bottle only if you held the bottle horizontal to it, but as I experienced at a party, you spray beer all over everyone within range.
wtf?
clearly we have different definitions of "didn't work".
-----signature-----
Self Appointed Smart Ass - Level 80
If you think my opinion is idiotic, re-read yours.
Dont worry I will give my opinion anyways.
The PvP MMO is NOT a "niche" market, Mythic is just a "niche" company.
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Maleraka
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Sgian_Dubh posted:
This is america, land of cheap crap people are too stupid and undisciplined not to waste money on.
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Twitter: @minibucho
Xbox Live: minibucho
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-Accident-
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guy tried to show me how to pry them off with my brass rat but I couldn't get it to work -- either my grip is too weak or my fingers are too small or something, but it felt like I was trying to pull my whole finger off, it hurt like the devil so I didn't try anymore.
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Reapist
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I used to work and drink with some Mexicans that would use 2 Coronas to open one bottle. I always wondered what would happen if they only had one. I never seen that happen.
-----signature-----
pkhere: Jebus sometimes you make my arse tired.
Referring to illegal aliens as 'immigrants' is the same as referring to shoplifters as 'shoppers' - Dorvinion
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BritonGuy
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I have a key chain bottle opener, and it's functional.
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Briton Guy...persnickety...NEVER! -Murron (truly) Hawkson is the greatest. -Hawkson Britonguy is usually right. -Onslaught on BT “Do or do not... there is no try.†- Yodazami Do you expect me to remember what I put in my mouth? -NSMachi
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Ah-Schoo
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I just use my seatbelt latch, it's not doing anything else anyway.
-----signature-----
.
Opinion = fact. Anecdote = proof. Political label more important than either of those.
Welcome to ACF, where debate goes to die.
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winga
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Ah-Schoo posted:
I just use my seatbelt latch, it's not doing anything else anyway.
hahaha
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Tipztoe
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Onslaught. posted:
I use an old cutting board when I can not find an opener. Just put the cap on the edge and karate chop it.
I usually use a knife edge, or lighter if someone has one.
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AynRand
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I believe you're supposed to hook the tongue under the cap and lift up.
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...for people and their pets Say NO to "Made in China"! Motion is Life  No Motion is Dead
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Tipztoe
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you should try one of these:
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TickyAtack
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AynRand posted:
I believe you're supposed to hook the tongue under the cap and lift up.
wow I didn't even think of that or try it. You sure are smart.
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i, ticky.
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Aethelgrin
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You can use a regular table knife to do it as well, bottles will always be opened one way or another. However corkscrews are a bit trickier unless you go the ghetto way of pushing them in.
-----signature-----
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-Accident-
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Aethelgrin posted:
You can use a regular table knife to do it as well, bottles will always be opened one way or another. However corkscrews are a bit trickier unless you go the ghetto way of pushing them in.
If you don't mind disturbing the sediment at the bottom of the wine bottle, you can put the bottle in a shoe and slap the shoe on the wall until the cork comes out on its own.
-----signature-----
I realize now I do not fear death. I fear my daughter will not be free when I die.
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me for mod! 
Misbeller of mightbe 
love i you 
Go..VO..GO... 
I God of miself.