Cawlin
Posts:
20,754
Registered:
Feb 22, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 20,667
User ID: 1,030,445
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
I will start with an apology to any woman to whom this does not apply...
That said, what's the story? Every woman I've known seems to have this issue with remote controls and the TV/Stereo.
The entire point of a remote control is for you to be able to control the device from where you are sitting comfortably or standing, some distance from the device.
When I go and sit down on my couch and want to turn on the TV, I should not have to get up and walk BACK to the TV across the room to retrieve the remotes stored in the entertainment center.
The remotes should be kept on the coffee table where I leave them after using them.
I bitch at my girlfriend about this and she bitches back that she gets annoyed that I leave the remotes on the couch itself. What she doesn't realize is that I hide the remotes between the cushions of the couch because whenever I leave them on the table she puts them in the entertainment center. WTF DO YOU THINK WE HAVE A COFFEE TABLE FOR IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE?
Seriously, she doesn't even like coffee and I drink it about twice a week in the morning, and maybe once a quarter in the evening... we never drink coffee at our coffee table. The coffee table should be called the Remote Control Storage table, because that's what the motherfker is FOR!
What's funny is that sometimes she will get the remote, use it to turn on the TV, then go and put it back in the entertainment center and go back and sit down to watch the TV. I can make no sense out of this series of events whatsoever. It defies logic by any set of rules that I can conceive of.
So let's recap: the purpose of a remote control is to control the device FROM A DISTANCE - hence the word REMOTE in the name of it.
Remote controls have a usable range of AT LEAST 15 feet, usually quite a bit more. They are meant to be used FROM A DISTANCE.
The most logical place to have a remote control stored is where you will be sitting most frequently when you are using it which will mostly be AT SOME DISTANCE from the device you are watching or listening to.
If the remote is within 6 inches of the device and your comfortable couch or recliner is 12 to 20 feet away, you have failed in the laying out of your domicile.
So ladies, if your man stores his remotes on your coffee table, and you can't stand it, please don't put the remotes in the entertainment center. Consider getting him some sort of remote caddy or other device for his couch or recliner. I promise you that as much as it pisses you off to hear the opening jingle to ESPN's Sports Center, it pisses him off twice as much if he's had to get up from his chair to get the remote after sitting down and expecting it to be there and finding it not. This is most likely why he turned on Sports Center loud enough to piss you off in the first place.
Next lesson: How to figure out the remote, and why pressing random buttons on all the remotes until Oprah comes on is not the right way to do things.
-----signature-----
If ignorance were painful, half the posters here would be on morphine drips.
Everyone playing WoW knows everything about playing two classes: 1) their own and 2) Hunters
|
|
Link to this post
|
paulg_68
Posts:
30,961
Registered:
Jul 27, '09
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 30,669
User ID: 1,364,918
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
The remotes should be put away when company comes over, but otherwise they should sit on the coffee table or end table.
-----signature-----
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc "Everyone has a chance to become rich." - Groucho48 "Most of the human wealth on earth exists between the ears of live human beings." - theredkay1
|
|
Link to this post
|
Coriolus
Title: Outpost Ice Mexican
Posts:
22,046
Registered:
May 17, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 21,595
User ID: 679,996
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
|
Can you summarize this in 30 words or less
-----signature-----
A thousand sheep are louder than one man. As long as the Survivor-watching sheep outnumber the thinkers, nothing will change. - BD
|
|
Link to this post
|
Afio
Title: Belle of the Bull
Posts:
22,285
Registered:
Mar 19, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 19,957
User ID: 659,266
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
Ours sit on the coffee table.
If company comes over, I have a basket on the table for such stuff.
-----signature-----
I'm not old, I'm crunchy.
IMHO: "You know your poop,Lyndrek"
"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." - Ronald E. Osborn
I stole the above from Bonk's facebook, thanks.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Aerlinthian
Posts:
66,222
Registered:
May 7, '01
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 65,491
User ID: 94,919
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
Cawlin posted:
What's funny is that sometimes she will get the remote, use it to turn on the TV, then go and put it back in the entertainment center and go back and sit down to watch the TV.
 
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
__Bonk__
Posts:
53,947
Registered:
Jul 25, '09
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 53,339
User ID: 1,364,654
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
-----signature-----
I keep my eyes fixed on the sun!
A change in feeling is a change in destiny.
|
|
Link to this post
|
Halloweve
Posts:
3,912
Registered:
Mar 6, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 3,894
User ID: 901,645
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
haha  you married her. Just get a universal remote and velcro it to the side of where ever you like to sit. Problem solved. She can do what ever makes her happy with the other remotes.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Yukishiro1
Posts:
38,362
Registered:
Sep 20, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 31,453
User ID: 718,633
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
Aerlinthian posted:
Cawlin posted:
What's funny is that sometimes she will get the remote, use it to turn on the TV, then go and put it back in the entertainment center and go back and sit down to watch the TV.
My wife did this once. I teased her about it the rest of the day and she's never done it again.
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Crackdoc
Posts:
6,681
Registered:
Oct 7, '05
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 6,609
User ID: 1,082,910
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
"The entire point of a remote control is for you to be able to control the device from where you are sitting comfortably or standing, some distance from the device."
She sits or stands comfortably, she controls you through your male libido at most any distance.
WTF does she need a device with batteries?
Asshat!
-----signature-----
People in the Middle-East: They Are ALL Crazy as BedBugs!!!
Erich Fromm: “There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.â€
Toss aside the paradigms of civility you hold - welcome the social dysfunction of tomorrow.
|
|
Link to this post
|
eodoll
Posts:
17,153
Registered:
Feb 14, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 15,943
User ID: 645,592
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
|
I leave mine on the couch
-----signature-----
(none)
|
|
Link to this post
|
Elocism
Title: Pseudonym
Posts:
25,124
Registered:
May 3, '02
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 18,742
User ID: 675,144
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
|
women should not touch the remote. ever. not even whilst cleaning
-----signature-----
you are broken now
but faith can heal you
just do everything i tell you to do
|
|
Link to this post
|
Taliesihne
Title: Wind on the Deep Waters
Posts:
36,223
Registered:
Feb 19, '04
Extended Info (if available)
Real Post Cnt: 30,592
User ID: 896,469
|
Subject:
Women and Remote Controls: a Primer
|
|
I would hide your remotes.
-----signature-----
Jesus saves, Allah protects, and Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich
First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire. -Roland Deschain, of Gilead
|
|
Link to this post
|
