Author Topic: Potty training help - please
Tutti-Fruitti 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Hello,

My son is 3 1/2 and is pretty much potty trained for pee but when it comes to poop he is not interested in going in the toilet. At his daycare he went twice and I actually got him to go twice here at home as well. Once about a year ago and then another time just a few months ago.

Every time he has to poop he comes up to me and asks for a diaper. Let's me know when he's finished and I clean him up and put his underwear back on. I was thinking of saying no when he asked for one but I don't want him to get cramps or anything of the sort.

I mentioned to him once this box of diapers would be finished that's it, there are no more. He keeps saying ok and will go on the toilet when they are finished but I'm not so sure. Maybe he will surprise me and actually start going on the toilet but from past experience with him he just will not have anything to do with the toilet when it comes to pooping.

Any advice on how to let him go poop on the toilet or just let him go when he's ready by himself? For his pee, it was exactly on his 3rd birthday he woke up and said I want to go pee on the potty, yes he's had a few mistakes since then but he is 99% on the potty when it comes to pee.

Thanks in advance.

 

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Silverwuf 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
My daughter just told us when she was three that she didn't want to wear diapers anymore and that was it. I assume it's probably harder to train boys, though.

I would just tell him one day that there will be no more diapers tomorrow and then make sure they're gone. Have him go on the potty and don't back down and don't second guess yourself. You might have to clean up a few messes but in the long run, it's worth it to watch your son become a responsible little person.

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Jennifer_the_Great 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
I'd say the ultimate answer depends on you and your child. That being said, if he is coming to you every time that he poops, he knows that the poop is there, he doesn't like it on him, and he's ready to poop in the toilet.

Buy him some big boy underwear, get all excited because he's getting so big (let him pick it out!), and explain to him that poop in the underwear isn't acceptable. (Pick whatever you choose, it's nasty, the characters will get dirty, it makes his butt messy, etc. Get the point across somehow.) When he makes a mess, he is more than old enough to clean it up himself. The first couple of times you'll need to help him out so he knows what to do - dump the poop in the toilet, clean the underwear with some soap and water, get clean underwear and put it on. The two times my son had to do this, I had him leave the wet underwear in the tub until I could work it in the next load of laundry. This exact method worked right after my son's third birthday.

Other way is slower and easier to stretch out. Use pull-ups. If you don't do some kind of modification on the above method, however, your child is going to treat them just like a diaper (which it is, obviously), and it's only going to keep costing your checkbook more money.

Since I 'retired' the diapers/pull-ups, I think Brian has had two, maybe three accidents. One was because he was sick and pooped while puking, the other two were because he was having too much fun playing and didn't want to say anything out of fear that we wouldn't let him go back to playing after going to the bathroom (away from home). Both of those times I threw the underwear away - since he really likes his underwear, it only apparently took those two times.

Good luck. It's worth it, I promise. happy

 

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Lyli 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
My son's father threatened him with bodily harm, and POOF he was potty trained. He was also over the 3 mark, so it'll be okay happy PS - he didn't actually ever get beaten, but the threatening worked lol

 

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Ah-Schoo 
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Subject: Potty training help - please

My kid was pretty obvious when he was about to go, plus there were usually a couple nasty farts to warn you to pay special attention. We'd ask him if he needed to go and when it was obvious he had to or he actually said yes we'd rush him to the toilet.

We treated wearing underwear like it was a special reward and that seemed to make him keen on it. He's had a couple accidents and didn't like to change the underwear after or be threatened with "little boy pull-ups." I never thought about throwing them out though that would have worked well I'm sure. Plus less of my least favourite cleanup to do.

 

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Tutti-Fruitti 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Thanks for the replies everyone.

He says he doesn't like diapers anymore and that he's not a baby but when it comes to pooping he just has to have one on. He dislikes the diapers so much that at night time he will take it off so I check him often until I go to bed. I sometimes wake up to him sitting in pee. I don't get mad at him for that but try to explain that's why he still needs a diaper most nights because he pees while he's asleep. I don't let him drink too much before bed and get him to go right before he hops into bed for the night.

But I think the route I will take is that once this box is finished, that's it...no more diapers and if he pees while he's asleep I'll just have to do an extra load of washing now and then. I don't like the idea of pull-ups to be honest, they are just like a diaper in my opinion and he can still go in them when I am trying to teach him to go in the toilet/potty. The underwear idea won't work because he already has his big boy underwear and doesn't get too thrilled about a new pair these days, even if I do let him pick them out. wink However, I will let him do the clean up if mistakes do happen. (or help me at least)

When he does say he has to go, I say let's go on the potty and sit him down but he holds it in, I don't like that, I don't want him to get cramps or not sure if it can harm him in anyway really. He knows this so holds out for the diaper.

So....as I mentioned above there, I will not be buying a new box of diapers once these are finished. Only about 15 or so to go. Wish me luck! worried


 

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tantallous 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
I think once he has to clean up his own messes a couple times he will get the picture pretty quick. As you've said he already knows when he has to go, its just a matter of him deciding to use the toilet.

 

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Makaena 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
maybe see why he doesn't like to poop on the potty.


Might be something as simple as he doesn't like the water splashing on his lil butt. I had a niece that didn't like that.

 

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myxomatosis8 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
I can't even imagine LETTING my 2-4 year old clean up any mess to do with pee or poop, quite honestly.

 

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Ah-Schoo 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
myxomatosis8 posted:
I can't even imagine LETTING my 2-4 year old clean up any mess to do with pee or poop, quite honestly.
Agreed.

I make mine stand there while I do the cleanup though, and if he messed on clothing new clothes are last. Chilly bits are an incentive to do better next time IMO.

 

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.Ayla. 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Have you tried bribery/reward? show him something he wants/likes and tell him when he goes in the potty he gets the item. amke it something he rarely gets like maybe a bit of candy. I too agree I would not let a child of that age clean themselves up I can only just imagine the mess I would have to deal with after their attempt to clean themselves.

 

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Entrapment_WE 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
my son was potty trained at 2 1/2 standing up even and my daughter was ready at 3.. Gl to you.. its hard but you gotta stick to your guns happy if the diapers are gone, they are gone..

 

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myxomatosis8 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Entrapment_WE posted:
my son was potty trained at 2 1/2 standing up even and my daughter was ready at 3.. Gl to you.. its hard but you gotta stick to your guns happy if the diapers are gone, they are gone..


Funny I was saying that last week, then after some night-time accidents... pullups are back for overnight use only. Apparently the bladder just isn't ready for 10-12 hours sleep without having to empty. Not too upset since she's 2 1/2 and been trained for over 6 months now, though. I just can't bring myself to withhold water after 6pm, seems like a damn long time!

 

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ZartanAround 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
ToS - Trolling

 

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Entrapment_WE 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
I didnt use pull ups at all.. I bought a plastic cover for her bed and put regular sheets in it, if she has an accident and has to wake me up so be it, she gets upset when she has an accident. But shes doing really well now, No more accidents:)

it took her a while longer, due to speech delay, and laziness lol.

 

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Kriegprojekt 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
This may not work if you dont have one parent to stay home but what my wife and I did was pretty simple:

At 1.5 years old, we took my sons diapers off completely. Every 30 minutes we took him to the bathroom and made him stand and pee. At 1.5 years old we knew pretty much when he had to do the "duty" (harhar) and would bring him to the toilet and sit him down until he went. We kept diapers off him while home at all times (except night) and put diapers on him when we went out. While we were out, we always brought him to the bathroom and made him pee, so he never went in the diaper. We usually went an entire day using a single diaper.

After 6 months we got him down to every three hour pee breaks. At 2 we never had an issue, by 2.5 he was fully potty trained. We now make sure he goes before we leave anywhere (school, shopping, etc) in the morning too. Hes 5 and has no problems at all, goes himself etc.

He had two "issues" where we didnt make it. The first was while my wife was away and I was home - I didnt pay attention. The second was when he was at the park and we didnt take him before going. He was very embarrased.

Like I said, this may be different for others, my wife is from Europe and potty training at 1.5 is common in her country. Saved us a ton of money too.


Im hoping to do this same thing with my second.

 

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-Kruugar- 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
We've started potty training at 9 months.

1 year (yesterday was his BD)

He can go most of the day without peeing in his diaper if we put him on the potty every few hours.
We clap and act happy when he poops.


Pee is easier because they likely have to go when they wake up, etc.

 

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Fozzie_Bear 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
life events that change your childs daily expectations can torpedo your potty training too...

my daughter was doin GREAT at 2 years old at daycare cuz she was watching her peers go use the potty but then her teacher went on vacation for a week and a substitute stepped in and it all went to hell.

 

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Tutti-Fruitti 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Sorry to bump an old thread, but HE'S DONE IT!! He is now going poop on the potty! It started last Saturday night, he went! It was the size of a penny - if that, but we made such a great deal of it, high-fiving, cheering, etc... he loved our reaction. On Sunday he asked for a diaper, I told him, remember last night you went on the potty, well I'm sure you can do it again, just try. So he tried and he went again! I think he was still a little afraid because he wasn't letting it all come out at once, he went about 5 times, a little here and there. But it was ALL on the potty! grin I am so proud of him!

Just FYI, we didn't do anything different in our routine, every time he asked for a diaper we asked him to go on the potty and try. A few days leading to his actual poop he did sit and tried but said it wouldn't come out, so we gave him a diaper, and did the usual, but it seems something clicked on Saturday night. dancing

Anyways, just wanted to give hope to anyone who was in the same boat we were. Like they say, when they are ready they will go. Just lots of patience, encouragement and of course hugs n' kiss. happy

 

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Subject: Potty training help - please
congrats to him, and to you happy

super big achievement!

 

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Phaydra 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
YAY!! What a big boy!!!

Congratulations!

 

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koee 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Congrats!

from what I've heard the hard part is that the kid kind of has to be ready themselves before it can happen.

 

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Tutti-Fruitti 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Thanks everyone!

koee posted:
from what I've heard the hard part is that the kid kind of has to be ready themselves before it can happen.


Yes and that really is the hardest part. I find / found it hard too when people told me stuff like "oh I had my son / daughter fully potty trained by 2 years old", or my parents or my husband parents pressuring us as well. I had to keep reminding them (and myself) he will go when he's ready. Kids pick up different things at different ages, can't really compare, it's not fair to the child to put that kind of pressure on them.

It's so amazing when it clicks and the child gets it. No matter what you can do or say won't change a thing until they are fully ready themselves.

He called me at work before and says, "Mom I just made the biggest poop ever in my potty!" laugh I shared his excitement and reminded him how proud I am of him, etc...

 

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Brother_Tempus 
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Subject: Potty training help - please
Gratz

 

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Subject: Potty training help - please
Give them free ice cream! Then they'll update theyr potty skills pretty fast... happy

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