Lexi_Necrodiva
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It's hard for me to be serious but this is a rare occassion where I cannot just trust those I encircle myself with irl. By asking you all I open this up to a more diverse crowd that can perhaps offer some insight and help me with this dilemma. For starters, excuse my typo's. Been a long long day. The story shall start here:
My friend Nik has always had trouble with girls. I’ve known Nik since 9th grade. As a joke I hooked him up with one of my friends, and I know for a fact she was his first kiss.. because I took her out to dinner if she kissed him. I felt bad when things went South and Nik has always hung around my friends and I as our nerdy sidekick. Anytime we have had computer problems, or TV / Car issues – Nik was always useful and he has always treated us with respect. Nik isn’t that “attractive,†but he has a good heart; sadly, that doesn’t go far when a girl is looking for a guy. The odds of a beautiful looking girl getting to know a guy and falling for his personality is rare when you have the appearance of somebody like Nik, so he never really got a chance with women.
Nik had love once. A girl named Tina was always friends with us, and she got to know Nik for whom he was. She was decently beautiful and this fairy tale story woulda had a happy ending, sadly a drunk driver ran over Tina a few months before their big planned wedding and while it was (rumored) she was carrying his child. Nik was devastated. He lived with us for a few months because he lost his apartment because he couldn’t work etc. He got back on his feet and moved out on his own and still visits us or takes us all out for dinner frequently. Tina passed away about 5 years ago, I think, and Nik has not had a stable relationship since. Sure he’s had some, but he hasn’t had that connection. I think that since Tina his longest relationship was like 3 months.
So Nik has had a lil relationship going on lately. Last night he brings her over. She was very polite, nice, and with all honesty… super model material. I mean this girl was beyond Niks caliber. She was sitting with him holding his hand the entire time, snuggling with him, laughing, and a very friendly person. She did our dishes in our house after our dinner, and played some Wii with us and was an awesome person the entire time. We were all so happy with Nik and he told us that he was so amazed to be in love and have found someone whom he feels such a strong connection to. Then our friend Cliff came over…
Cliff is a police officer, and was friends with my father when he was alive. Cliff came in, saw Nik and his girlfriend and went to the other room and occupied himself with some of his paperwork. It’s nothing new, as Cliff isn’t really social around new people. After a while, Nik and his gf left giggling and kissing the entire way out. We congratulated them two for finding eachother and went to talk to Cliff. The happiness ended here.
Cliff said that the girl was somebody that was arrested about 6 months ago for prostitution. She also had a drug problem with crack, but was not booked on that charge (I didn’t ask why). She served 29 days in jail. He pulled up her picture on some website and sure enough there she was. After her stint in jail, she enrolled herself in some treatment program and has since enrolled in the local Community College. She apparently already had an education of some sort, because she has a degree in Criminal Justice. So now we have our problem and the debate has been constant here since this occurred.
Should we tell Nik and ruin the only happiness he has seen since Tina’s death? Do you think a person can change and she finally found someone to focus on and steer clear? Can an ex hooker truly be out of that life style? I know she has no STD’s because she was telling us how she applied for a job and had to take a drug test and STD test and passed and was applying for something else, yet what will her excuse be once they run a background check? Part of me wants to imagine I heard nothing or corner her and let her know she needs to come clean, because I know he doesn’t know.. but do I really want to do that or should we just mind our own business. What will happen when they hit the mall or something and someone who was with her says something? Would you drop your relationship with a hot model type if you found out? I mean… is she truly different then a random club whore that does it for free, I mean yeah… crackheads a crackhead and a hookers a hooker, but can a person truly change? Would this knock her back down to depression or suicide? If you saw them.. it was like.. perfect… ugh… opinions appreciated.
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Horundik
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If you are not 100% sure of the facts, then do nothing, otherwise it is possible that Nik does know everything or perhaps just parts of it. Your best series of choices begin with this: Talk to her first.
Let her know that you heard some things about her past, that you are concerned about Nik hearing those things as well, and that if she cares about him that he should hear it from her. If she seems genuinely upset and embarrassed, then you can put a pause on your panic. If she says that she has already talked to Nik about it, then you are free to tell Nik everything you know (in case he does not have all the facts). If she gets angry, then kick her in her whore-pocket and tell Nik everything you know.
If you are lucky enough to get option #1 from your encounter with this woman, then give her some time to find a way to tell Nik. If she does not have that talk with him within a couple of weeks, then go ahead to option #2.
No matter which way this goes, prepare your spare bedroom.
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Bluejaye_Wayfarer
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This --> "Your best series of choices begin with this: Talk to her first."
You can also ask Nik indirectly how he feels about the subject by asking how he'd feel if he found out *you* were a crackhead whore. If his reaction is something like "Lexi, I've known you for years, I don't care." then that tells you something, versus if he reacts like "get away from me, skank, I can't believe I was ever friends with you."
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Oh trust me, he doesn’t know. If he knew it would never have happened, but the fact is that it happened and now he will find out (somehow). We had a friend who became a stripper and Nik barreled her into the ground talking about how it’s like 1 step from escorts and prostitutes. He has zero respects for girls that are strippers and has a big antitrust policy on girls that are bartenders being that they are ‘socialites’ lol. So I can only assume that he considers hookers below bartenders, escorts, and strippers. He doesn’t like or respect them and our friend won’t talk to us no more due to how bad Nik trashed her about her career choice lol. The issue is… it’s happened and now what will happen. What would you all do if this was you.. would u leave her or what?
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Bluejaye_Wayfarer
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Lexi_Necrodiva posted:
The issue is… it’s happened and now what will happen. What would you all do if this was you.. would u leave her or what?
I'd only leave her if she were dishonest about it, personally. But I'm not exactly a prude, and tend to think prostitution should be legal in the first place.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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So you would honestly date an ex prostitute or ex crackhead without any problem? You would give someone the chance to redeem themselves?
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Bluejaye_Wayfarer
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Lexi_Necrodiva posted:
So you would honestly date an ex prostitute or ex crackhead without any problem? You would give someone the chance to redeem themselves?
More accurately: If I was dating someone, and had developed feelings for them, and up to that point they seemed like a decent person, I would give them a chance, yes.
I wouldn't be trolling around the back streets for a crackhead whore as my typical dating scene, however.
If they had lied to me about it, I'd drop them like a rock.
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Horundik
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I did not realize we were trying to figure out what Nik would do or what we would do in Nik's place. I thought you wanted to know what you should do, which I think talking to her first is the starting point with the least down-sides to yourself.
Not knowing Nik, it would be hard to say what he will do when he finds out. My money is on freaking out, so like I said, get your spare bedroom ready.
What I would do in Nik's place is pretty much in accord with what Bluejaye wrote. If I was not really that into her then I would have no second-thoughts about getting away from her as soon as possible, but once I was already involved when I found this out then it would be more complicated. I would stick with it though there would be a hair-trigger on the dump button. That hair-trigger itself would probably be the ruination of the relationship eventually even though she may be a perfect angel, but I believe that if you are already involved then you have more of an obligation to evaluate things over time.
My initial reaction would probably be to freak out but I would get over that, and I think it would be important for me to do that freak-out with her rather than someone else. If she is actually the one that tells me, and handles my freak-out session that will help with the easing off of the hair-trigger over time. If someone else tells me and I have to drag the facts from her, the odds of the relationship surviving is going to be much lower.
PS: If/when you do talk to her. Do not under any circumstances tell her what you know. Be vague. She knows the facts much better than you do, so discussing details only puts you in the dummy-chair.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Yeah, they are both coming over later tonight for dinner. (She) wants to get to know us better so (she) took the initiative to come over around noon while I was not home and tell Brittney that she would like to get to know Nik's friends better and wants us to join them for dinner - her treat.
Brittney was Ms. Secret Agent. They had cocoa and talked for a while and basically she told Britt how she has been in school non stop and finally got her degree in Criminal Justice but is having a hard time getting a job due to (lack of experience and the job market). She said she took about a year off to evaluate her place in life. She said she has never loved anyone like Nik (which amazed Brittney because she cannot tolerate Nik), and how her and Nik are so similar she found her 'soul mate.' She went on about how attractive he is and how he treats her like a Queen and how she is surprising him tomorrow with tickets to some kinda theme park thing etc.
So I kinda feel bad, but again... I feel obligated as a friend to say something.
I think we're gonna sit back and enjoy our dinner... and plan to spill the beans with her at a more appropriate time. Again tho.. public place... I'm just wondering how many people are gonna recognize her and it just takes 1 loudmouth drunk John to spill the beans. Once that happens... it's gonna look ugly, so I feel the clocks ticking.
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Rezzinu
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Obviously she changed her life and has found some good out of it (him). Leave it at that, and let her tell him when she feels comfortable enough around him to let her skeletons out of the closet.
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ElricFE1
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Tough call here Lexi,
Firstoff...the past is the past,lets say for arguments sake she is trying to straighten her life out...A guy Like Nik is probably exactly what she needs...and from what you said it appears she appreciates/makes Nik feel alive again.
Heres the scenarios of what COULD happen
1) You tell him,he immediately flips out and tosses her away,re-enters his depresion. She ends up back in the gutter cause in her mind "the world apprantly doesnt forget". You now have TWO bitter/unhappy people
2) You dont tell him...he somehow finds out and flips out...you then have to act surprised...
3) You dont tell him....she really Has changed...both of their Lives are CHanged in a GOOD way.
Im pretty sure every one of us has a skeleton in our closet,or something we arent proud of in our past...sometimes silence is golden....
My 2 cents
good luck
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Guud
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Basically to sum it up, you should follow Horundik's original advice.
If it comes from you to Nik, no matter what the situation, you're going to be the bad guy. Does he deserve to know? Absolutely. But it would be 100 times worse to hear it coming from your mouth than hers.
As for how to approach her about it, it's a lot easier. She's already made the effort to try and get to know you guys better. Invite her out to lunch or a drink sometime when it's just the two of you(don't bring more people because it will make it seem like you're ganging up on her) and be open and honest about it with her. Don't play games, don't toy with her, just tell her like it is which should essentially boil down to: I'm sure you know about Nik's past, and how you've been very close to the whole situation and how much Nik means to you as a friend. And that having been said, tell her that you know about her past, you understand that people make mistakes and that you aren't judging her or holding it against, but that Nik deserves to know one way or the other. Also tell her that you would much rather that he heard it from her than you.
You give her the chance to come clean with him, and pray that she's mature enough to take that opportunity. Because if it comes from your mouth, you're going to be the bad guy in the situation.
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LancelotOCT
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I'd do nothing. I knew a chick that used to pull orgies and one day she said she was done with it , met some guy and had kids and as far as I know they been happily married 20 years now. People are who they are but they aren't who they are till a certain age in my opinion. That age is different for each person but what they've done till that point really doesn't bear a huge influence on what they will do or who they will be.
Forgiveness for the chick really isnt our concern though as we just care about Nik. The question here is will Nik be able to handle more drama like this should it all go wrong and the answer could go either way. On one side he's stronger for the mess that was the first relationship on the other he's created a place he retreats too since he was gone for so long. Now that this place exists in his behavior it wouldn't be surprising it would be his reaction come next trajedy. Further this trajedy , if handled as such, would be kind of shallow since he'd be stressing over something he has no influence over.. her past.
Ultimatly though the underlying question probobly is does it matter if Nik is in a relationship or single. Years ago everyone was married or whatever , nowadays its very common for people to be single. I dont think its so bad if this fails and if he closes up again or if he then stays single to his end. He'll be ok as there are things you get from male/female relationships you cant get from friendship relationships you have when single. Likewise there are things you get from friend relationships when single you dont get when in a couple.
Your position should be to be a friend. Comment and critisize on the hear and now. This relationship weighed as any relationship. He already went for the good looking girl. I'd be more concerned , if a lasting relationship is what's desired by Nik, that he's thinking with the wrong head. Spend enough years with anyone in any relationship and beauty means nothing. What matters is your compatibility, energy levels and how good of friends you can be because a life is a long time to spend with someone lacking those type of pleasentries.
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Horundik
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Lance, how do you get away with smoking dope in the middle of the afternoon at your age? 
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LancelotOCT
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heheh Horun!!!
Aren't you happy Beo and me dont call you at 3 Am anymore, get you out of bed, to come defend the relics? 
Edit:
What I meant was if Lexi's friend is so introverted and helpless at meeting girls and this is what he's pulled off after 5 years maybe leave it alone. With his description he may never meet anyone. He sounds like he cant handle the solo thing so maybe he's better off with this girl and all her baggage.
I think Lexi is in a tough position because she knows and possibly he doesnt and this is definatly a big deal to most people but we dont know if Nik doesnt know. If it does matter to him, which chances are it does, when he finds out if subsequentially he learns Lexi knew all along he will be mad she never told him.
How did he meet her? Maybe he knows and is just having fun. In which case I imagine he'd not tell his friends so that she doesnt get ostrasized by them and they can hang together. I guess the thing is his friends do know now so better they tell him.
Ultimatly I think if I was in Nik's shoes I'd want my friends to tell me. So you right I'm probobly off the deep end with my post. 
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num97
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I didn't read anything, but my advice is to have sex with her, take pictures, and post them here.
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Horundik
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Lance, I would love to be woken up at 3am for a relic raid! That would mean it would be 2001 and DAoC was still exciting!
Panhead, with a Zen-like focus you have zeroed in on exactly the only reason that anyone should be posting on VN.
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-There are two types of people in the world: those who need closure
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Guud
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Panhead for President!
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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I think I already served a lengthy ban for posting somebodies private pictures on vn, I doubt they will be as gracious to give me a second chance if I did so again.
Thanks for all the input. I'd like more. Friday we all have 'the dinner' and I don't think it's gonna be so smooth.
A few things:
- Nik has absolutely no clue about it. Because my sister and Nik hit the mall the other day and she said that someone we went to school with was busted for prostitution. Nik went on a 10 minute rant about whores and how they should be shot on sight for spreading their sickness and filth etc. My sister said that it was the first time she was at a total loss of words. He went that into his hatred and disgust over them, strippers, etc.
- Nik met her at the mall. She was reading a book and Nik was at the food court writing something. She asked to use his pen and she broke it and Nik stated that she should buy him a drink and call it even. To his surprise, she did. The two then went to see Avatar and then went to dinner. They hung out the next day, the next day, the next day... etc.
-My sister made a joke and said "I was thinking of trying crack out," and he said that he would beat the living piss out of me and have me put in jail and rehab etc. She said he was 100% serious.
This scenario is different because we know Niks opinion on the subject; however Nik has no clue he is now IN the subject. He's involved.. unknowingly.
Also there is no way Nik would keep a secret like this from us, because he knows Cliff and knows that we can pull information etc. I know the clerk or the court here, 1 of my friends moms works for the city, and we have a lot of cop friends - so that is not an issue. If Nik was keeping this a secret he wouldn't have brought her over. Also, had it not been for Cliff being here and remebering her this would not have come to light. So yeah... there is no way Nik knows this and is 'pretending'
Tho I believe that Rackir's statement is true... we all have done things we're not proud of.. and sometimes silence is golden... there are some things that you just cannot let go by.
Again - sooner or later it'll get to where they are out and a 'client' spots her. There is no preventing that. Daytona Beach may be a big city... but it's not to the point where you do not know whose whose. Also - it's on her record... sooner or later he's going to find out why she can't get a job... sooner or later he's gonna ask Cliff to see if he can help her and it'll escalate.
Thanks so much for ALL the opinions so far.... except Panhead.... who I hope follows his advice, gets the clap, and ends up scratching his balls off with a hangnail.
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Rezzinu
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So from what I read and how I understand it is...
Instead of letting him figure this out on his own or giving her the chance to come clean to him eventually (probably when their relationship is stronger and he would be able to handle some news like this way better) you guys are gonna bust the news at this dinner on Friday?
Seems to me this girl is a threat to you and your friends in some sort of way? You dont want her being around you or your friends and especially Nik, why? What do you guys get out of taking the only girl from him that he's had feelings for in a long time?
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Actually, Friday we have our dinner and I think (from what the majority says is best), is to explain to her that we all know Nik’s past, and that we know hers. We don’t want to “ruin†the apparent happiness, but we want to know if and when she plans on coming clean. We will warn her on Nik’s behavior towards that kind of stuff, however being that he already has been in a relationship, it kinda would be worthless to simply leave since they are so serious. I know it’s hypocritical of Nik, but what can he do? Whats happened happened. I imagine he will be shocked, and as his good friends, I am going to assume she will want us there when she comes clean and ask for our support – which will be to just stay. If she is as clean as she seems, and they are as happy as they seem, why ruin it when it’s already too late? We all have issues and problems, she just hid hers and tried to get through it, and I’m sure every night when they sleep, a thousand things go through her head about this. I’ll assume she is scared, worried, and probably depressed. So this would be the perfect opportunity to ask our advice and than gives her a buffer zone to talk to Nik. I think that’s the best choice – because she cannot hide this forever… and I think it’s too late to kick her to the curb.
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Guud
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I'm telling you lexi, don't put her on the spot and make her tell Nik right away, or in front of anyone else. This has to be between the two of them, and I'm sure it's something she's not proud of and extremely embarrassed by. She needs to know that you know and that you won't keep it a secret for very long, but that you have enough respect for her to let her to be the one who tells him, so that she'll have a few days to think about how to best approach the matter.
Best of luck!
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groundskeeperr
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If they break up, send her my email.
I bet she is willing to do some freaky stuff!
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Sorry if what I wrote is confusing, it's been a long few days with other stuff. In no way will we tell her or demand of her to do anything in any set time frame.
I’m just going to be polite and explain to her that I respect her for apparently changing her lifestyle and I can only wish her the best, however, it should be no surprise to her, about Nik’s feelings on the matter. I will also explain to her our distaste for that lifestyle and how we have no respect for anyone of that nature, however our opinions have been changed and she showed our entire (crew) that yes – people can change for the better if given the desire to. I believe that Nik needs companionship, and I believe she needs Nik as well and that they are perfect together; however, cannot be fully together in comfort unless she lets the cat out of the bag. I will let her know that if asked my recommendation, I will suggest Nik just disregards the past and continues with his relationship because I feel she honestly does care for him, and that people make mistakes. I will tell her that theres no reason to ditch her, because what’s done is done. If she wants, our entire (group) will stand by her side as she explains this to Nik (whenever she feels the best time is), and will tell Nik that we are on her side of this situation and understand why she kept this hidden. Anyone whom changed wants to look towards the future and not the past. My sister and Brittney will be with her before I do and she seems closer to my sister, and my sister is willing to relay this to her. I’m closer to Nik so I’m sure I’ll be asked to take part in this with the time comes. I think this is fair for all and gives her the understanding that we are here for her AS WELL as our friend Nik. Opinions?
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Turric
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How much money and crack would be required for you to sleep with me, Lexi?
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Bluejaye_Wayfarer
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Lexi_Necrodiva posted:
Opinions?
My only concern would be after you tell her you know, and that you want her to come clean at some point with Nik, that she freaks out and just dumps him so she doesn't have to tell him. Then you have to deal with Nik falling apart.
Not that you can really do anything, at some point he's going to find out.
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groundskeeperr
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"How much money and crack would be required for you to sleep with me, Lexi?"
If you were the son of Bill Gates and Kate Moss, then you might have a shot.
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Thugoneous
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I think she's a gold digger and it's none of your business. He may know everything already, but ignorance is bliss.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Doubt she's a gold digger because she has been paying mostly for Nik from what he told us.
Doubt she will leave him over this - she told my sister that she needs advice on something and wants to talk to her, but than said forget it and maybe another time and trailed off at something shiny.
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LancelotOCT
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Yea just tell him .. why you telling her. Your loyalty lies with your friend. She's a stranger. If your man was famous for loving crack-hos for years and you didnt know and later found out that Nik knew all along, you'd probobly be pissed he never told you.
Rezz is right , it is comming off like you want to corner her just so you can express your personal disdain for her past. This is all about Nik. If you tell him and he later chooses to continue on regardless of your opinion on the matter then it's about you and her in as far as her being part of them that disregarded your feelings. Until then it's just about your friendship with Nik and the unwriten rules that come along with that... like leaking any dirty info on the person they dating .
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Kahlann
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I'd say nothing, and I wouldn't confront her.
Give her the benefit of the doubt, and if your friend is happy why ruin it? If she is using him his heart will be broken, if you spill the beans his heart will be broken. If she has improved her life, and has learned along the way that looks and personality don't always go hand in hand and truly loves your friend - it's win/win.
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Rezzinu
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So how'd the dinner go last night Lexi? Did you guys confront her?
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-Rags-
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Kahlann posted:
I'd say nothing, and I wouldn't confront her.
Give her the benefit of the doubt, and if your friend is happy why ruin it? If she is using him his heart will be broken, if you spill the beans his heart will be broken. If she has improved her life, and has learned along the way that looks and personality don't always go hand in hand and truly loves your friend - it's win/win.
seconded.
Sometimes, people just need a second chance, and often people that had a rough past with bad decisions turn themselves right around nicely. I've known a couple people I work with/around that had a bad past (drugs, prostitution, jail time) that have happy and normal lives now. One, a close friend of mine, has a VERY nice job, great kid and a stable marriage. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one outside of work that knows about her "colorful" past. She doesn't want anyone else to know because she's embarrassed by the stupid things she did when young (and stoned) and afraid it might affect her professionally. Her husband didn't know about her checked past before they hooked up, but she told him before they got married, and that didn't stop him from marrying her.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Dinner was postponed due to an unexpected work thing etc. It will occur this Thursday and btw - we are actively watching this and taking everything into consideration so keep it coming.
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Guud
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I disagree with every single person that has said to not confront her about it and not say anything about it.
Yes, we all make mistakes, and some people have a checkered pasts that they overcome and make a wonderful life for themselves. But this isn't just one of those small insignificant things in your past that you'd much rather forget and just look past. This was a life choice and a problem. A problem that will affect her for years to come, and indirectly, Nik as well. If the relationship were just some fling, I'd say just turn your head the other way, but this is clearly more than that.
It isn't fair or honest to keep that kind of secret from a person you love. And if you can't even be honest about your past, how can you be expected to be trusted with anything of real importance. Relationships are built on honesty and trust, without it, you're building a tower on quicksand.
I'm all for giving her some time and space to figure it out, letting her decide how she wants to approach the matter, and giving Nik the option to know the truth about her past. But it isn't fair to lead someone blindly along and then spring it on them when the situation is convenient for you.
If the love is truly there, then they will overcome. If it isn't, then both people just move on as it wasn't meant to be.
No one is perfect, but it doesn't give you the right to play with people's emotions because of *your* choices.
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Turric
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I'm gathering my money and my crack in case Lexi comes to visit me.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Turric, this is labeled as a serious discussion so stfu. Nobody likes you, you are not amusing, and if you were the last penis on the planet and the entire human race was based on you and I having intercorse I would probably turn gay or grind on inanimate objects before considering having to do anything with you. I doubt any respectable woman would. I doubt any respectable man would either. I doubt anyone with the IQ above 2 that has a heart beat would allow you to procrete with them. A hooker WITH a crack problem wouldn't screw u if u laced your inch worm with it. So stfu.... damn.
On another matter.. Guud does have many many valid points. This isn't something that can just be ignored... it's going to come out. Sooner or later in a mall or a movie etc she will run into someone that recognised her... Daytona is NOT that big..
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Turric
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I think if flowers could speak, they would sound like you, Lexi. You make me so happy inside.
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Fedup23
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He is going to be pissed when it comes out.. I think your sister screwed the pooch by throwing out the "oh, I know this girl that got busted for being a hooker" and the "what if I started smoking crack" comments.
Unless Nik is a complete idiot he is going to see that you guys were testing him and keeping shit from him. It will probably make him feel made a fool of. He will say something like, "...so two weeks ago you poke and prod me with all these little crackwhore scenarios..meanwhile Ive been banging a walking petri dish, thanks!"
Hope it all works out and that Nik doesnt have the HIV now.
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Guud
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status report?
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Rezzinu
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Guud posted:
status report?
Fake story?
Oh well, good for the boards at least.
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I chickened out.... honestly... and no not a fake story because if it was a fake story I'd have an awesome climactic battle in it, and somewhere in my story midget ninja's and lil Haitians would come out and I would most likely take over some small continent and enslave all the crackheads and hookers to do my bidding as the biggest Galactic Pimpress Madame this side of the Draconic System...
however that is not the case...
we all went to dinner.. she invited my friend Britt with us so was my sister and I and Britt....
we sat there across from the table waiting for Nik to leave to the restroom or something, after an eternity of waiting he got up to leave and she immediately told us how wonderful it is for us to join them tonight and how we're like the best friends ever and how she wants to take us shopping tomorrow and how she is so in love with Nik and how after getting bashed over by guys she finally found someone she can be with 24-7 and never get bored of.
My sister gave a stupid lil nervous chuckle... said 'congrats' and Brittney said she has to go to to the restroom because she suddenly isn't feeling so good..
Nik came back.. we proceeded to eat our dinner.. and didn't even bring up the subject.
I honestly couldn't do it... if I do have to.. it'll have to be this weekend when Nik is not near.. because they were so happy together it would just be a total mood change....
So there.. no fancy Lexi pwnification or any ego boosting galactic slam to her face and a spinning roundhouse kick to her cheek bone... I simply couldn't do it at this time...
happy?
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This is starting to sound like a plot-line from "Friends".
...to be continued...
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LancelotOCT
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Just take Nik aside and tell him. Act like you just found out from Cliff like 2 hrs ago and had to tell him.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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I was supposed to have dinner with her tonight, but I got a wreck earlier so I'm a tad under the weather...
Tho she did bring me food and flowers in the hosp.... she's very... caring.
She is 'spending the day tomorrow' with me taking care of me while everyone else is at work... I think I'm gonna talk to her then.. and hope she don't kill me
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you brave soul. Good luck Lexi.
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It'd be much better to do it when it's just the two of you, so I think you made the right choice. Best of luck!
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I bet she knows people that can get rid of bodies.
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ugh.. i typed it all... and i timed out and it erased...
either way... stuff is out in the open.. ill give details tomorrow...
ugh what a night
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Thugoneous
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You should have left it alone.
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stabzilla
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BEIN A CRAKHED IS NOT SO BAD FOR A GIRL AND SHE AT LEEST WORKS FOR A LIVIN INSTEAD OF BEING A STEELIN CRAKHED AND ALSO AT LEEST SHE DOES NOT PLAY MMOS
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Finally, someone with useful answers to serious questions!
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Rezzinu
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You making us wait till this weeks episode to hear the rest Lexi? 
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Well, the first thing I would do is to establish the facts right. Are you absolutely sure that the girl on the website is the girl whom Nik is dating right now? Do their name, birthdate, ID match?
If that facts are established, the next step would be to get to know her better. Become a better friend with her, and she might open up. It will take time to establish trust. I don't think anyone would just open up to others and tell them their hidden past to people whom they just got to know for a short while.
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Cordovaa
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although i do agree with you moong, we are talking about lexi here... getting her to become friends with someone, and well enough for them to open up to her.... i mean... come on now, isnt that a little much to ask?
But in all seriousness, tred lightly here. I've been in a similar situation, and if it's handled wrong you may very well end up loosing a friend. Even if in the end it turns out u were right, for some reason they still hold some unknown grudge against you.
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Sorry for the delay everyone. I've had the worst luck ever.
Basically she came to visit me in the hospital and she knew something was awry. She said that we've been acting odd around her and more quiet and my sister has been inquiring about her lifestyle a lot. She said that it's not the appropriate time to talk to us but she wants to call us all together to discuss stuff. Once home, everyone was at work so she spent the day doing the house work and taking care of my dogs while I sat at home drooling like a retarded kid during lunch time. She was very friendly and kept saying she wants to talk to me but doesn't know how to come up with the words, I kinda got irritated and snapped, "just <explicit> say it already and get to the point."
Once everyone was back she took us out to a nice restaurant (her treat), she came clean.
She started it by saying that it has been so great to meet people like us and tho she wishes she had grown up in our 'circle' and how happy she is with Nik. She then stared off into space for a solid 30 seconds and took a deep breath. My sister actually said in an audible whisper "this is it," and Britt kept nudging my leg like I honestly had no clue wtf was going on.
She said that a few years ago she smoked a lot of pot and then some friends got her on coke and then she tried crack. She said she was immediately hooked and between all the drugs she lost her job, once she lost her job she lost her apartment and had to move in with friends. Since she had a drug problem it was hard for her to hold down a job and pay rent and for her addiction, and at a party some guy said he would hit it for 100 bucks as a joke. She said your on, he gave her the money, and thus our lil pals life began to change.
She learned that since she looked good and often got picked up that more money = more drugs, and then came Mr. Undercover Police Man whom busted her. That is where our police pal came in and she served 29 days in jail. She said she saw crackheads in prison all haggled and with missing teeth and she didn't wanna go through that life; however the addiction was there. Once she was out she immediately asked the cops to keep her in or help her out and they got her into a treatment facility. Over 3 months she stayed there, and once she was done she got a job there as a counselor or something talking to crackheads and spazzy druggies. She made decent money and got back on her feet.
She met Nik and has been completely honest about everything except for this one thing which is where she begged for our help. We all acted shocked during this story, and my sister even did that stupid chin shiver thing where she can make fake tears swell. Brittney let out several "oh my god's" and I just gave a few 'woah and wows' in between.
Since we heard the story we really have no opinion on the matter. I like the girl because I got to know her, but I still feel a disgusted to have her around. I feel dirty. She said that in rehab they did testing and she is clean, and she even went to see if she had anything a few weeks ago because she thought she had a pregnancy scare (with nik lol). She said she had testing then as well and is clear. She said that made simple joking comments with Nik like, "I could be a stripper" and he said he would never date a stripper, so she didn't push the issue.
So now the next plan is... how to tell Nik lol. She said she wants us there by her side when she does tell him, but I honestly think that may be bad. In a way, I kinda think that we should talk to him for her because well... I kinda think it would be better.. or have her there but have US tell him and she just sits there and shuts up..
So ... yeah... more opinions? lol
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stabzilla
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I THINK FIND OUT IF SHE CAN COOK FUD CUZ THEN MAYBE SHE CAN MAKE A GOOD WIFE FOR THAT DUDE OTHERWISE HE WILL BE MARIED TO A CRACKHED WHO JUST MAKES HIM POPTARTS FOR DINER WHICH IS AWESUM (BUT NOT ALL THE TIME AWSUM) AND BESIDES NOBODY WONTS A CRACKHED SITTING ON THEYRE COUCH EATIN POPTARTS ALL DAY. ALSO TELL HIM TO WRITE HIS CERAL NUMBERS FOR HIS STEREO AND COMPUTER AND TV DOWN SO HE CAN GET THEM BACK WHEN SHE PAWNS THEM FOR CRAK EVEN IF HE JUST HAS A CRAPPY WALMART JAMBOX HIS CRACKHED WIFE WILL LOOK AT IT WITH STARS IN HER EYES AND JUST BE THINKIN "MMMM IM GONA SELL THAT JAMBOX AN BY ME SOME CRACK AND POPTARTS!!!!!!!!!!"
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Thugoneous
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See now you're in her problems and is trying to drag you onto her side.
This is why you mind your own business.
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Stealpulse
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Seems to me that Nik has already fallen into the mud puddle, he may as well splash around in it awhile.
It certainly isn't YOUR job to tell him, unless you have some sort of polyamorous relationship we're not aware of.
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Moong_IceBreaker
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She should tell Nik in private, not in the presence of his close friends. It would be awkward for Nik. And you shouldn't tell Nik before she does. The worst case is that Nik happens to be reading this thread.
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Now you know her price, its time to see how recovered she really is. Worst case scenario, your boyfriend gets blown by your friends soon-to-be-ex and you can rest your jaw for the night.
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torii_T
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So was she actually arrested and convicted of prostitution? Is that a felony?
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Thugoneous
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Altra_Shadowstalker posted:
Now you know her price, its time to see how recovered she really is. Worst case scenario, your boyfriend gets blown by your friends soon-to-be-ex and you can rest your jaw for the night.
This kind of outside the box thinking that will lead you into a corner office.
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Lexi_Necrodiva
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Not sure what it's listed as Torii,all i know is she served 29 days in jail.
I always thought it was like a simple fine and your name goes on a list or something /shrug.
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torii_T
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I can't imagine that she would get hired to do anything in criminal justice with a prostitution conviction on her record and anything related to crack addiction. But then again it's Florida and I really am not aware of their hiring practices. I hope she makes your friend happy and that he can see the good in her and not the past indiscretions.
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It definately takes more skill to do what we do, than to follow a minstrel/bard/(no offense but I don't know Mid speed wagon)
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Blynk_
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I'm no expert... i also associate committing a felony with going to prison and a minor felony and misdemeanors with jail or "county" as those guys at the bus stations used to say.
Lexi, did she say how long she was actually on the fast track into shit valley she was in before she got busted?
Has word reached Nik?
and on another OT note, PM your thoughts on Zombieland already! :P
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Altra_Shadowstalker
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Lexi_Necrodiva posted:
Not sure what it's listed as Torii,all i know is she served 29 days in jail.
I always thought it was like a simple fine and your name goes on a list or something /shrug.
29 days is a misdemeanor. Anything over a year and a day is a felony.
Also, I'm assuming that the reason Lexi stopped posting on this thread is that she took my advice and now has another outlet to communicate with. 
(for those who are too slow, let me draw you a picture! no more   +  =  means that lexi can now  +  (wait, what?)
ain't  great? )
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